Tombstone Song

I've got a few words for my grave

A tin treasure from a lonely life

I don't need a plot or a stone

to celebrate this shitstorm of strife

If you remember me be kind

If you don't i won't much care

For i won't be around to hear

I won't be anywhere

I don't have much use

for being honored or entombed

But these words might leave some light

on this planet of the doomed

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

I'm not saying these words bring joy

They're probably not even wise

Don't expect an excess of success

They might be a booby prize

An open heart can get you scalded

An open heart can get you smacked

An open mouth might get you scorned

An open mouth might get you attacked

But in a world where nothing's free

expectations are crass company

And in this abyss of alienation

open hearts are a revelation

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

So that's all i've got for you

Go on now and go

I hope you didn't need more

from this melancholy minstrel show

I'll fight the urge to add on

Ego is a gluttonous beast

But if you're here for my sendoff

just send away the priest

And if i'm not quite dead

give me some lovin' instead

'Til the day we dearly depart

all we need is an open heart

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

"Hide nothing, expect nothing"

Donald Trump Cries

There's a lonely man in a lonely house

From demons he cannot hide

He yells at the servants and yells at his wife

They don't see how he hurts inside

But late at night when everyone's asleep

he crawls inside the closet to weep

Into the carpet his tears seep

And he cries, how donald trump cries

For poisoned seas and polluted skies

For dirty deeds and shaky alibis

How donald cries

Do you know what loneliness can do

How to heal when your own child hates you

When the world demands that you be strong

Who can we blame for what's wrong

So late at night when everyone's asleep

he crawls inside the closet to weep

Into his hairpiece his tears seep

And he cries, how donald trump cries

For all the corporate crimes and lies

For mean jokes about his hair dyes and ties

How donald cries

He dreams of a better day

Multi-cultural children laugh and play

Education, health care humyn rights

And we all have somewhere to sleep at night

He remembers when they sent his momma away

and daddy taught him love was pretty gay

He remembers all the walls in his childhood home

Walls are the only thing he's ever known

So late at night when everyone's asleep

he crawls inside the closet to weep

Into her dresses his tears seep

And he cries, how donald trump cries

Over abortion he does agonize

Haunted by his victims' eyes

Hiding from Kremlin spies

With his Big Mac and fries

How donald trump cries

Make America Gay Again

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

Oh whitman, my whitman, sing a song of ourself

Take those leaves of ass off the shelf

James buchanan, bachelor for life

Mr. president don't need no wife

James baldwin's books so searing

Giovanni's Room left open hearts tearing

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

Audre lord, eloquent and adored

Our intersectional lioness who roared

Anderson cooper super duper

Freedom for all from pussy to pooper

Ellen degeneres ain't no degenerate

On network TV, the truth she rendered it

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

Sodomy laws stick in my craw

The Pansy Craze changed our ways

The Lavender Scare all hot air

Homophile Movement, sweetness-sent

Time for a Cooper Donuts Riot

Our voices will not be quiet

Compton's Cafe to Stonewall

Freedom means freedom for all

Neil patrick harris, fabulous and fun

My gay icon #1

Lil naz x collects royalty checks

while having biblically-forbidden sex

Gritty the sports goon, sang a gay tune

Shoot rainbow flags to the moon

J. edgar hoover, patron saint of freaky deaky

A bedroom queen, on the streets so squeaky

Liberace liberace, i cannot be impartial

In the gay parade my grand marshal

Make America gay again, hips and hoorays

Make America gay again, remember the good old gays

"Sliders"

-created by tracy torme and robert k. weiss

1995-2000

Oh great googily. The humynity. The utter humynity.

Hindenburg.

Titanic.

Mondale.

Can you look away?

Well, perhaps, as it turns out. Obey that instinct! The first time i tried to watch, a decade or so ago, i bailed within a few episodes. It was patently clear there was no brilliance on the writing staff - a show with middling writing and nothing to say. The best you can hope for is an occasional "not awful".

Sorry, all you second- and third-rate would-be franchises. Life ain't fair when TREK rules the roost.

But what you won't see if you only catch the first season, is the carnage to come. Like rats jumping ship, cast regulars fall away with shocking...regularity. By the end, there's only one original clinging to the side. And in this case, it's ringo...or rather, rembrant (cleavant derricks - MOSCOW ON THE HUDSON, THEA), the least-resonant lead (through no fault of his own - as originally written, the character embodied cringeworthy racist tropes).

The story? Science prodigy accidentally invents a portal to parallel worlds, in his basement. Four reluctant travelers discover they can't get home, as they leap from alternate Earth to alternate Earth.

Tracy (SNL, STAR TREK TNG) and robert (POLICE SQUAD!, THE NAKED GUN) are long-gone by the end as well. Other casualties include the almost-adequate jerry o'connell (STAND BY ME, JERRY MAGUIRE), the redoubtable sabrina lloyd (SPORTS NIGHT, ED), and the ripping john rhys-davies (RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, STAR TREK VOYAGER).

In other words, ample potential. Well-funded, with at least half the cast capable of nuanced work. But alas...

Beautiful Insanity

A lifetime lost inside my head

Roller coasters of ecstasy and dread

Is it a dream, is it really me

We long we long we all long

for beautiful insanity

Born to be naked, naked up a tree

Sucking fruit like a happy bee

Rat race road ain't for me

We long we long we all long

for beautiful insanity

Insanity, set me free

Insanity by papal decree

Insanity, cinematic soliloquy

Insanity, in you and me

Flying beyond mundanity

Self-loathing holy orthodoxy

Is it a dream, is it really me

We long we long we all long

for beautiful insanity

The Fire

You can hide from the heat, you can hide from the man

You can hide from the mob inside a garbage can

You can hide from your ex, hide from the IRS

You can hide from your kids, hide from your mess

You can hide from yourself, you're such a good liar

But you can't hide from the fire

You can flee the flood, and flee the bees

You can flee tyranny or live on your knees

You can flee your job, tunnel out of jail

You can flee from baseball-sized hail

You can flee yourself, you're such a good liar

But you can't flee the fire

There's a burning, got your name

Sinner saint, all the same

End of the tunnel, ain't no light

Only dark, eternal night

You can run from your past, run from your dreams

You can run from the storm and run from the screams

You can run from war, you can run from the beast

You can run from the wicked witch of the east

You can run from yourself, you're such a good liar

But you can't run from the fire

Dance on Your Grave

You've been insufferable since the day i was born

If life is a rose you're a 2-ton thorn

The cemetery finally, not here to mourn

I've got confetti, your plot to adorn as i

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

If i had a choir we'd do the wave

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

Shuffle shuffle hop, wiggle wiggle pop

You were always a pain in the ass

So i've come to fertilize the grass

Mother teresa applauds my class

Dalai lama's got a quartet of brass to

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

If i had a choir we'd do the wave

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

Shuffle shuffle hop, wiggle wiggle pop

In death you're finally fun

Farewell, public enema number 1

Your bloviating finally done

As georgie said, here comes the sun

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

If i had a choir we'd do the wave

Dance on your grave, dance on your grave

Shuffle shuffle hop, wiggle wiggle pop