not-ends 49

There are two kinds of people. Those who know they're idiots, and those who don't.

Do you know who makes smart romantic choices? Nun.

The good ones are always taken, or gay. The great ones are both.

Chewbacca is a bigfoot. Why do we dance around that? It's han solo and bigfoot. Am i wrong?

I wouldn't mind makeup if the numbers were reversed...if the proportion of wimyn who DO and DON'T wear makeup were flipped. Otherwise, when something like makeup becomes a cultural imperative, that's when you know a society is broken.

Humility is not "i'm not worthy". Humility is "i might be wrong".

Bathrooms have evolved to have two sinks side by side, for couples. Will we soon have two toilets side by side? Oh, i hope so.

What do you call drivers who can't drive without lightly hitting other cars? Dentists.

The only way to face the sadness of this world, is wrapped in a blanket of silliness.

Are there any athletes who point to god when they make a BAD play? Wouldn't that be awesome?

MAMA. Make America Matriarchal Again.

Dumb Things

Any man and any womyn, in anytown anywhere

stand on any corner, and she gives him a glare

"What the hell is WRONG with you?"

"Oh baby, you don't want to know

Don't leave me alone no no

I do dumb things"

Just dumb things

I do dumb things at the bar, dumb things in the car

I do dumb things at home, i'm not good alone

I do dumb things with my friends, the nonsense never ends

Dumb things at the computer, i should be neutered

Dumb things at work, i can be a jerk

I do dumb things shopping, i need stopping

I do dumb things at the beach, put me on a leash

I did a dumb thing with your sister, we played strip Twister

Any man and any womyn, in anytown anywhere

stand on any corner, and she gives him a glare

"What the hell is WRONG with you?"

"Oh baby, you don't want to know

Don't leave me alone no no

I do dumb things"

Just dumb things

Come Out and Play

I see you hiding in there

Under that mask you wear

It's time to stroll in the sun

It's time to have a little fun

Wipe it away, wipe it away, come out and play

Don't hide your pimples, don't hide your scars

You gotta be just who you are

And all the fools who gave you hell

Someone was mean to them as well

Wipe it away, wipe it away, come out and play

Let's dip our toes in the sparkly stream

Let's share our fears and dare to dream

It might be cold, but let's jump in

Just naked babies, laughing again

Who taught you how to say NO

Who told you where you can't go

The magic word is yes yes YES

Yes is the key to happiness

Wipe it away, wipe it away, come out and play

Today

Today i found where the wild things are, and took the cookie

I shot j.r. and let the dogs out

I found waldo and carmen sandiego

in a love shack winnebago

When my baby got home tonight

she said "You didn't do shit today"

I said no, baby

Maybe tomorrow

Today i found where all the flowers went

and where the missing sock goes

I found the yellow brick road

Where the streets have no name no

When my baby got home tonight

she said "You didn't do shit today"

I said no, baby

Maybe tomorrow

Today i found the end of the rainbow

and what the world needs now

I broke the glass ceiling

and joined the sisterhood of man

Today i talked someone down from the ledge

and found the beef, though i kinda which i hadn't

I got trapped in a broken elevator

with mother theresa and hitler

When my baby got home tonight

she said "You didn't do shit today"

I said no, baby

Maybe tomorrow

The One You Want

The one you want more than anyone is gonna run away

The one you want more than anyone is never gonna stay

You can make someone happier than they've ever been

But you can't make you happy, that's a game you'll never win

The one you want more than anyone is gonna say goodbye

The one you want more than anyone is gonna make you cry

You can give someone the best thing they'll ever know

But you can't buy your own best thing, that's just a no-go

You can walk the spirit path, erase all your greed

But the spirit path won't heal you like you need

The one you want more than anyone is gonna disappear

You'll turn around, and they won't be here

You can make someone happier than they've ever been

But you can't make you happy, that's a game you'll never win

"Bad Feminist"

-by roxane gay

2014

My only complaint with this book is that for a while, it feels like false advertising. Big chunks of the middle section aren't about feminism really, just pop culture critiques. But relax, and embrace the fact that the piece is a collection of essays written as standalones...and eventually it all comes around to feminism (or maybe feminism/race). And all that is actually a nice parallel for roxane's problem with feminism - what IS it ? As soon as you try to capture "essential feminism", you're stumbling over your own feet. So instead of taking territorial poses, let's all just be ourselves and keep on striving for common ground. Pretty good message, and pretty great essays. Thank you, roxane.

The Blues Just Blew into Town

There's a blue moon tonight

My ex called out of the blue

She went from blue collar to blue blood

So i'm swimming the blue bayou

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town

My car is a blue book bust

The blue whales are fading away

Mr. Blue Sky can't be found

It's just another blue Monday

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town

Blue devils won't let me be

I'm drowning in the deep blue sea

Blueberry Hill can't be found

Blue Christmas comin' 'round

The best host left Blue's Clues

Blue suede shoes ain't for the weak

My probation officer's blue in the face

He's talking a blue streak

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town

Just another blue valentine

My heart is all black and blue

My blue heaven feels like hell

My cojones are pretty blue too

Feel it waterfallin' down

I guess the blues just blew into town