Humyn Shitshow

Rich white men shit on poor white men

Poor white men shit on white wimyn

Rich white wimyn shit on poor white wimyn

Poor white wimyn shit on everybody else

Brown men shit on brown wimyn

Brown wimyn shit on gay brown wimyn

And everybody, everybody

Everybody shits on the dog

I wish there were a devil to shit on rich white men

But there ain't no hellfire below

Karma's a joke and heaven's a hoax

Welcome to the humyn shitshow

Brown wimyn wanna be white wimyn

Yellow wimyn wanna be white wimyn

Black wimyn wanna be white wimyn

but they'll settle for brown

Ugly folk wanna be pretty

Old folk wanna be young

Everybody wants big boobies

Everybody wants to be hung

I wish there were a devil to shit on rich white men

But there ain't no hellfire below

Karma's a joke and heaven's a hoax

Welcome to the humyn shitshow

From the London Bridge to the Golden Gate

People everywhere are jumpin'

From the Brooklyn Bridge to the Banpo Bridge

People would rather be humpin'

We all need to be mothered

No one wants to be othered

No man wants to be smothered

when a baddie bats her eyes

We're all self-absorbed twits

Most of us selfish shits

The love game is the pits

Everybody lies

I wish there were a devil to shit on rich white men

But there ain't no hellfire below

Karma's a joke and heaven's a hoax

Welcome to the humyn shitshow

Lazy

(parody of "Crazy", by Gnarls Barkley)

I remember when, i remember when we first made love
You asked my favorite posish
I said, here's my wish, mmm
Don't like missionary, i don't like doggy style
Don't want the happy baby or the CAT
Being on bottom is where it's at, mm
Does that make me lazy, does that make me lazy, does that make me lazy?
Possibly
She said we might have the sexual time of our life
I don't like the lotus, and the leapfrog ain't nice, mm
Don't like the little dipper, i don't like stand and deliver
I wanna cowgirl your pole, i like to be in control
Does that make me lazy, does the make me lazy, does that make me lazy
Probably
I don't like the wheelbarrrow, she don't like the flat iron
And the butter churner, we find that so tirin', mm-hmm
I don't like spooning, she don't like the waterfall
And the pearly gates, we don't like that at all
Does that make us lazy, does that make us lazy, does that make us lazy?
It really could be
No pretzel, no hot seat, and no seashell

And the mountain climber can go to hell

No stairway to heaven, no no no ballet dancer

The pinball wizard, that ain't the answer

Does that make us lazy, does that make us lazy, does that make us lazy?
Indubitably

Original lyrics by Gian Franco Reverberi, Gian Piero Reverberi, Thomas Decarlo Callaway

Not-Ends 50

Where will the euphemistic degradation of our language end? "NEWS FLASH, HOLLYWOOD: Nick Reiner passed away his parents last night."

Why do we have godparents, but not devilparents?

Romantically, young men have patience with no humility, and old men have humility with no patience. Sorry, ladies.

Having a baby is like saying, "I've got nothing to do for the next eighteen years, AND i'm a big fan of ingratitude!" Are you INSANE?? Who would do that?

To believe in god, is to declare that there's nothing you won't believe in.

Never believe anything anyone tells you. Including what you tell yourself.

I'm not like most men. I don't want to fuck ALL wimyn. Just the ones who don't look like me.

Rejecting common sense is just good common sense.

Red-Baring: a television series that starts with a burst of sexy nudity, then devolves into PG flaccidity.

If a womyn wants a man to be long-term monogamously faithful, the smartest thing she can do is to buy him a nuru massage once a week (she cannot provide this service herself - that would undo her intended manipulation).

Should she also stipulate that it never be the SAME nuru therapist? Perhaps. In any case, he will eagerly agree. And the whole ploy might actually work, pulling off a minor miracle indeed.

The Ballad of Butt

Butt riley was a hell of a man

Had the hardest head

in all the land

King of the hoodlums in that city by the Bay

Don't make him frown

He'll make you pay

Here comes butt

On the Frisco streets there weren't none meaner

He would head-butt any fool to the floor

Breaking and entering was his stock-in-trade

His thick skull could bash in any door

Here comes butt, here comes butt

Be very afraid, it's butt

He's gonna knock your world down

Here comes butt

Run away, he's gonna make you his clown

He didn't have a gang

but he ran with 'em all

The bad guys quivered

when butt came to call

Woke in the morgue and said "doc, i ain't dead

That'll take more'n one ball of lead"

Here comes butt, here comes butt

Be very afraid, it's butt

He's gonna knock your world down

Here comes butt

Run away, he's gonna make you his clown

The ladies loved butt

Kept his picture over their beds

When butt dropped his pants

everyone turned their heads

The ladies loved butt

They were not ashamed to say

Their smiles told the world

they had butt sex today

But the mighty they do fall

and so too butt's reign of wrath

One fateful day a door of oak

stood in his path

He crashed on through but as the splinters flew

here's what butt riley said

"Ow, that hurt my head"

Here comes butt, here comes butt

Be very afraid, it's butt

He's gonna knock your world down

Here comes butt

Run away, he's gonna make you his clown