Anesthetized

You can be morally rich or monetarily rich

But you can't be both, you can't be both

Protect your wallet or protect the weak

You can't do both, you can't do both

You can be anesthetized, or you can be living

You can be forgiven, or be forgiving

Life's for giving, love's for giving

The rich are dying, not living

Anesthetized with unfeeling eyes

The poor wanna be anesthetized too

That's why Budweiser sells billions

and Ben & Jerry's sells gazillions

But when you wake up you're still so blue

I'll Be Washing You

(parody of "Every Breath You Take", by gordon sumner)

I love you more every day
But i just gotta say
When get downwind of you
it stinks like holy poo
so i'll be washing you
Put your clothes in this bag
You smell like a stanky old rag

I don't mean to nag
but you're making me gag
so i'll be washing you
Your hygiene is obscene, making me turn green
Your holy funk of doom could clear out any room
All our friends agree
you smell like horse pee
Just between you and me
you make strangers flee
so i'll be washing you

Stripping you down and tossing you in the tub
We need some righteous rub-a-dub-dub
Your undercarriage needs extra attention
Orifices we shouldn't mention
I keep gagging baby, baby, please

Every pit and every crack

Top to bottom, front to back
Only one thing you lack
Your odor i can't hack so
I'll be washing you
I'll use a scouring pad 
The town will be so glad

Disinfectants and bleach

You just polluted the beach so

I'll be washing you

Everyone agrees you smell like a sewer
Making love with you is like rolling in manure

I'll use a fire hose

We'll burn all your clothes

With a pin on my nose

Make you smell like a rose

I'll be washing you

I'll be washing you

Throw you in a pond

Throw you in a lake

Your stench i cannot take

I'll be washing you

Toss you in a river

Toss you in a lagoon

They can smell you on the moon

so i'll be washing you

Throw you in a puddle

Throw you in a pool

You smell like a stool so

I'll be washing you