Stargate Origins: Catherine

-directed by mercedes bryce morgan

2018

Oops. A pining-for-the-fjords franchise burped out a piece of offal. Maybe they thought no one would notice, as it was originally released as ten-minute webisodes?

To sum up: in 1939, catherine chases nazis through the gate, to rescue her archaeologist father (connor trinneer - STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE, STARGATE: ATLANTIS).

Why do so many producers not grasp that hiring a brilliant writer is the ONLY essential element?? I say that because everything else (production values, acting, directing) is reasonably good. But the absence of writing competence is distressing. Any resemblance to genuine humyn behavior, purely accidental. Misogynist tropes refuse to die - even though the hero is female, she's basically a male re-packaged as female, and when they're not shifting into stone-cold-murder mode for three seconds, the wimyn here are still portrayed as overemotional (and apparently, all wimyn in the sci-fiverse are still in their 20s). And the makeup department sabotaged what could have been an effective villain - i haven't seen eyes this comically lifeless since CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON 2.

starTREKgate

Science fiction television's most conspicuous shows - STAR TREK and STARGATE.
Or most prolific, anyway (not counting the curious history of DOCTOR WHO). Eight series between two franchises. Their runs were perhaps more concurrent and lasting than any two sci fi franchises will ever again be. Before STARGATE: UNIVERSE went off the air, at least one TREK or SG series had been on for the past quarter century. Nineteen of those years saw two airing concurrently. Five years saw three available.
I'm not here to wax rhapsodic about two titans, however. TREK is a titan, SG is...well, at its best it was better than you may think, but only one of these franchises will be alive generations from now. SG will be sooner forgotten, and justifiably so. But TREK fans who turn up their noses will miss some sci fi fun...
Plus the chance to see beloved TREK actors doing their sci fi best in another milieu! Perhaps with a different accent (or forehead). Tellingly, the flow of actors only ran in one direction; no SG regulars moved on to any TREK. So let's honor the time that TREK actors logged on SG's watch. Was there any official relation between the two? Of course not. It's even possible they had to look at each other warily, as products vying for the same market. But there was affection...many a time, SG writers slipped TREK references into their scripts. There is a temptation to dismiss TREK actor appearances on SG as, well...slumming. Cashing a paycheck. But if you can accept certain SG limitations going in (a lack of character depth, occasionally obvious writing, and chemistry that sometimes failed to launch), you might find a few gems. So i hereby present you with...
STAR TREK ON STARGATE GUIDE
-armin shimerman
In 1997, during his sixth year as DS9's barkeep, armin pops the SG cherry with a one-off on a middling SG1 episode called "The Nox". He plays a beatifically benign alien with lotsa hair and deceptively advanced power. It was SG1's first season, and the appearance, like the show itself, didn't have much juice. He was even outshone by another hairy alien pacifist...leading to the theory that the SG writers were careful to not give TREK actors too great a role, for fear of seeming like a wet blanket franchise in need of help from mommy. They were willing to use TREK actors to bolster their cred and court crossover fans...but they didn't want these actors outshining their own in the process.
-dwight schulz
In season 2 of SG1, the incandescent actor who lit up two TREK series (and um, THE A-TEAM), does a one-off as the title character of "The Gamekeeper", playing a holographic ringmaster to an alien race in permanent virtual reality stasis. To be fair, the writers gave him free rein to shine...but on an episode as drably derivative as this, that's a mixed blessing.
-rene auberjonois
DS9's odo took a flaccid character on a subpar TREK series and turned in a performance that was always better than it should have been. Here, he dips into the SG world with a one-off in an SG1 season 4 entry entitled "The Other Side". He plays the leader of a warring alien nation which seeks an alliance and trade with Earth...but all is not as it seems. The writers found the balance they'd sought...he doesn't outshine the stars, but his moments are perfect.
-marina sirtis
NEXT GEN's empath drops into an SG1 season 4 entry entitled "Watergate". At first, it seems like the writers maybe wanted to make her look bad, as the episode starts shakily and her russian accent is more bizarre than anything coming through the gate. But eventually she shines a bit, in a fun little undersea adventure.
-john de lancie
The arrogant, insouciant puck of the TREK universe, john boldly goes where no TREK actor has gone before, signing on for a recurring SG1 role as colonel frank simmons, a self-serving officer with ties to an illegal shadow agency. Starting with season 5's "Ascension", he does five episodes over two seasons, in scenarios ranging from blah to forced.
-john billingsley
Ouch. ENTERPRISE's wonderful denobulan doc is tossed into the worst SG1 episode ever, season 6's "The Other Guys". Just...painful.
-jolene blalock
ENTERPRISE's otherworldly first officer signs on for two episodes over two seasons, as a jaffa leader of a tribe of warrior women. The reality isn't as perfect as the premise, but it's fun.
-"Arthur's Mantle"
This season 9 entry from SG1 double-dips into TREKdom, with appearances by worf's brother (tony todd) and wes's father (doug wert). And i'll skip over SG appearances by more obscure TREK actors rick worthy, robert foxworth, robert knepper, wallace shawn, and alan ruck, for all you completists out there.
-colm meaney
The stalwart o'brien (TNG, DS9) takes on the recurring character cowen in STARGATE: ATLANTIS's premiere season. He does three episodes over three seasons, as the leader of a nuclear-age planet planning an ill-conceived attack on the wraith. The first two are middling, but the third one's pretty nice.
-connor trineer
The most singular, successful foray for any TREK actor in the SG world. ENTERPRISE's trip does ten episodes over seasons 2-5 of ATLANTIS, as the tragic wraith/human hybrid michael. Perhaps by the time SGA came around, the writers were less afraid of giving a juicy opportunity to a TREK actor. You feel horrible sympathy for the character, appalled by what he does and by what is done to him. As great as his work on TREK? Nope. But pretty cool.
MICHAEL-A-THON
"Michael"
"No Man's Land"
"Misbegotten"
"Vengeance"
"The Kindred"
"Search and Rescue"
"The Prodigal"
-robert picardo
The only TREK actor to play the same character in multiple SG series, and be a series regular (SGA season 5). As civilian official richard woolsey, he appears in 28 episodes over all three series, starting with SG1's season 7 "Heroes" (which also features saul rubinek, so great in TNG's "The Most Toys"). Woolsey often came off as flat and obligatory, but there were some nice moments when he finally became a regular.
-nicole de boer
DS9's uneasy trill drops in on SGA for a final-season one-off in "Whispers", as part of an all-estrogen SG squad who get stranded on a planet with sheppard and rodney and a bunch of zombie wraith.
-"200"
No TREK actors here...but a stitch-funny SG1 season 10 spoof of TREK (and most other sci fi, really). SG's finest moment?
TREKGATE-A-THON
"The Other Side", SG1
"Watergate", SG1
"Prometheus", SG1
"Birthright", SG1
"Arthur's Mantle", SG1
"Inauguration", SG1
"Coup D'etat", SGA
"Inquisition", SGA
"Whispers", SGA
"200", SG1

Stargate SG1-A-U

As i made my way through the STARGATE oeuvre, i never imagined i'd write any type of endquest, "best-of" piece. Heck, i'd even given up on getting through the flagship franchise at one point, it was so mind-numbingly non-excellent. But i'm unqualifiedly glad i resumed my chapa'ai journey. SG1 improved, and each successive series was better than the last. Is the SG canon ultimately second-rate? Absolutely. But that's no great shame, as the sci fi televerse is littered with third-rate fare (and even some that flirts with fourth-rate...i'm lookin' at you, B5). In the face of all the challenges that producers must traverse to get a show from idea to product, "good" ain't easy by a long shot. So here's to SG - it was often good, and sometimes even better.
STARGATE: SG1
1997-2007
Ultimate SG1-a-thon (season)
-STARGATE
-Children of the Gods (1)
-Brief Candle (1)
-Singularity (1)
-Spirits (2)
-1969 (2)
-A Hundred Days (3)
-Crystal Skull (3)
-Wormhole X-Treme! (5)
-Frozen (6)
-Abyss (6)
-Paradise Lost (6)
-Revisions (7)
-Evolution (7)
-Heroes (7)
-Affinity (8)
-Threads (8)
-Ripple Effect (9)
-200 (10)
-Unending (10)
-Stargate: Continuum
STARGATE: ATLANTIS
2004-2009
Ultimate SGA-a-thon (season)
-The Defiant One (1)
-Michael (2)
-Sunday (3)
-Quarantine (4)
-The Shrine (5)
-First Contact (5)
-The Lost Tribe (5)
-The Daedalus Variations (5)
-Brain Storm (5)
-The Last Man (4)
STARGATE: UNIVERSE
2009-2011
Ultimate SGU-a-thon (season)
-Air (1)
-Light (1)
-Faith (1)
-Pain (1)
-Trial and Error (2)
-Twin Destinies (2)
-Gauntlet (2)
CROSSOVER-A-THON
-Grace Under Pressure, SGA
-The Pegasus Project, SG1
-The Return, SGA
-Midway, SGA
-Subversion, SGU
-Seizure, SGU

Stargate: Universe, season 2

FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-Awakening ***
A return to sharp storytelling, after the end of season 1 and start of season 2 got a bit muddled. They've been working a Lucian Alliance plot line that doesn't help the show's unique voice (i mean, come on...they're galaxies away, and the Lucian Alliance was flaccid even in this one). They're also trying be too much like GALACTICA, with spiritual subplots that don't quite soar. In this one, Destiny comes out of FTL near a ship which turns out to be a path-clearing seed ship of the ancients. They dock, and try to transfer enough power to gate home, but hidden aliens reverse the flow. Wonderful visuals.
-Trial and Error ***
In the midst of a season that is struggling to re-gain its footing, an extended confrontation between Young and Scott crystallizes all the potential of this series. Young is falling apart, after a divorce request and mercy killing of a crew member. On top of that, the ship itself is testing him, putting no-win scenario visions in his head. Powerful.
-Resurgence ***
We haven't returned to the peaks of season 1, but we're solidly in good territory again. This one has Destiny drawn to the site of an enormous space battle. Half of the ships aren't adrift though, they're powered-down drones. With an away team on one of the relics, the drones awaken and attack. An ancient seed ship drops out of FTL, to save them. Telford is aboard, offering an alliance with the aliens who lost the battle to the drones. Fun.
-Twin Destinies ***
If you incline more toward action than character, saddle up. Two Destinys, two Rushes, a race to salvage parts of a ship that's falling into a star...
-Alliances **
French (3rd ROCK FROM THE SUN, STARGATE) Stewart!
-Hope ***
A bit "lite" compared to the potential of the show, but you'll laugh and be drawn in. Through a glitch in the communication stones, it's discovered that the consciousnesses of both Ginn and Amanda survived their deaths. A plan is hatched to upload them into the ship's computer. Dr. Volker's kidneys fail, requiring an emergency donor. Alaina Huffman continues to shine as a medic in over her head. It's funny, to feel the resonances of other sci fi and ponder why SGU lost their way a bit. Season 1 was a bit GALACTICA '03 meets VOYAGER + SG (i'd also invoke LOST IN SPACE, but this show never moved the cheese-meter). Then the balance shifted closer to SG, until they finally found an entertaining (albeit recycled and less character-driven) groove. Still, this'ns a fun ride.
-Seizure ***
Rush has strapped himself into the interface chair to visit Amanda virtually, but can't return. On Earth, negotiations with the langarans to use their planet to dial the ninth chevron come to a standstill. A covert mission based on incomplete intelligence is launched, damaging diplomatic relations and failing to connect. Woolsey (Robert Picardo - VOYAGER, ATLANTIS) and Rodney McKay (ATLANTIS) are part of the insertion team, and everything clicks wonderfully...off-balance, but intentionally so.
-Blockade ***
The penultimate SG episode doesn't disappoint. The first three SG series exactly equaled the number of aggregate seasons of the first three TREK series, for those who care about such things (yes, i counted). The action burns, as the alien drones are now waiting for them whenever they drop out of FTL. They only have enough fuel left for one stop, and decide to refuel inside a blue giant, a plan so dangerous no drone would anticipate it (hopefully). They must drop the crew off on a planet first...which turns out to be drone-occupied. It's nice to see Dr. Park (Jennifer Spence) get more screen time.
-Gauntlet ***
Bring it home, SG, bring it home. Emotionally gripping, and intentionally less happy and resolved than the similarly-abortive ending of ATLANTIS...yet more satisfying. With new information revealing the drones to be waiting at every possible re-supply gate in their current galaxy, Eli hatches a scheme to put everybody into stasis while riding out a three-year jump to the next galaxy. Somehow (ahem), they have exactly as many functioning pods as they do crew members, leading to drama when one of the pods malfunctions (doh!). Rush, Young, and Eli are the only ones left, and one of them must stay behind. They all volunteer, for different reasons. Eli steps up, embracing the responsibility incumbent upon his intelligence and character. The last scene of the whole cast together, the final shots of Eli alone...it all works, in a way that harks back to the superior character explorations of the first season. I'm feeling almost sentimental enough to wish this crew, and this franchise...godspeed.

Stargate: Universe, season 1

FOUR STAR
-Faith
Depending upon the life experience you bring to this, you might be tempted to call it the most exquisitely-rendered character drama in the history of science fiction. And you might be right. From the moment you realize that you're watching the show's breakthrough episode, your eyes may widen in your determination to not miss a single breath. You may laugh. Your chest may tighten. Destiny is brought out of FTL by a star and planet that shouldn't be there. For the month that it will take to leave its gravity well, they send a crew to the surface. The discovery of an obelisk leads to the conclusion that this solar system was created by aliens. Eleven people decide that staying on the planet is preferable to returning to Destiny. Young and Rush know that losing so many might cripple their chance to survive. The debate they share with Camille is powerful, and stunningly unforced. All the human conflicts in this episode feel real in ways that few products of any genre do. The element of faith is brought in, as pertains to both god and a higher meaning; this too is perhaps the first time such issues have felt so rawly, unpatronizingly real in the sci fi universe. Choices will surprise you, and your ability to project how it will end is negated. At the heart of the episode is Alaina Huffman, as the ship's medic. She is pregnant, and the thought of raising a child on a sterile, possibly-doomed starship is unacceptable. Young's solution is unexpected, and as perfect as every other thread in this tapestry.
NOTEWORTHY
-Air ***
This pilot episode is better than its SG predecessors on so many levels. It's gritty, raw, unpredictable, and the characters feel real. It all starts with the writing, of course...it's the usual suspects, so maybe they got a visit from some glengarry-glen-ross-sci-fi-Alec-Baldwin type. ATLANTIS was an improvement over SG1, because of better chemistry. This is something else, though. It very nearly reaches the level of the most brilliant sci fi pilots ever. An accident, perhaps coupled with the ego of Dr. Nicholas Rush (Robert Carlyle - THE FULL MONTY, TRAINSPOTTING) sends an ill-prepared crew onto an ancient starship traveling from galaxy to galaxy on auto-pilot. The Destiny is falling apart, and the demands of supporting a live crew give them only a couple days to live...nor can they go back whence they came, as the unique origin gate was destroyed. The only annoying aspect is the religiosity, particularly with the second-in-command, an otherwise thoroughly likable performer (Brian J. Smith). Louis Ferreira lends crusty, humanistic gravitas as Col. Young, whom you're sure is dead in the first ten minutes. David Blue is great as Eli, a slacker recruited by the Air Force because he was the only person in the world able to solve an equation embedded into an online game. Jamil Walker Smith is Master Sergeant Ronald Greer...in the real world, in military prison. Among this small band fighting for survival, he becomes a captivating presence. Throw in a little Lou Diamond Phillips (LA BAMBA, SUPERNOVA), some Ming-Na (THE JOY LUCK CLUB, MULAN), send-off appearances by Richard Dean Anderson and Amanda Tapping, and the potential is...well, the universe is the limit. Is it fair to say that all TV sci fi of the previous three decades had very obviously walked in the long shadow of STAR TREK, and that SGU is the first SG series to be born post-BATTLESTAR GALACTICA? Yup. Yet it doesn't feel derivative.
-Light ***
The Destiny is out of power, drifting toward a star. A lottery is held, to send seventeen people on the shuttle to a planet that may be habitable. Before Matt leaves, he and Chloe make love, to Eli's dismay. A tense, four-star effort that glides back to three with an ending that doesn't quite ring true, as Young openly throws unsubstantiated suspicions upon Dr. Rush.
-Water ***
Mysteriously-disappearing water reserves cause tension, and require a dangerous away mission to an ice planet. On the ship, a coalescing alien particle cloud that seems friendly, becomes deadly when aggravated. What sets this series apart from virtually all sci fi that's come before is ambiguous dissonance. Most TV sci fi characters fit neatly into the ol' "good" and "bad" files, but here...one moment, you're rooting for Eli as a youthful voice of humanistic idealism, the next you're angry at him for losing his composure. One minute you're thinking Dr. Rush is an egomaniacal sociopath, the next you're lauding his clear thinking. A more honest portrayal of life? Another effort that pushes up against four-star greatness...
-Earth ***
The parade of excellence rolls on. This episode explores one of the more interesting scientific notions of the show, the idea that this stranded ship can stay in communication with Earth through communication stones left by the ancients, which allow two people to switch bodies, no matter the distance. Body-snatching is hardly a new concept, but here for the first time we're allowed to experience it as friendly technology. Earth orders Young to try a risky procedure. When he balks, Col. Telford (Philips) exchanges bodies with him, and takes over. Rush sabotages the attempt, certain it will kill them all. The most fascinating part has Eli, Chloe, and Young interacting with their loved ones on Earth, in different bodies. They all handle it in different ways. Eli pretends to be a friend of his, knowing his mom would never understand. Young has sex with his wife, but Telford accidentally returns to his own body in the middle of it. Throw in a little Richard Dean Anderson, and away you go.
-Time ***
Okay, we're entering a patch of episodes where things unravel a bit. Much unevenness. This one starts out great, as the crew discover a kino recording of events that haven't happened yet. An away team is attacked by deadly speed-slugs, while lethal sickness breaks out onboard. The ending loses focus.
-Life **
A gay lead character on a sci fi series! With actual gay scenes! You go, Ming-Na-used-to-be-Wen!
-Justice **
Young is framed for murder, and the resolution on an alien planet between he and Rush is more bloody and permanent than you'll expect. The writing could have used a defter touch, but the other elements almost obscure that fact.
-Space ***
One of the most satisfying reappearances of a character left for dead, in sci fi history. Amidst unrest and suspicions about Rush's demise, aliens attack. Chloe is abducted. Able to board their ship by communication stone, because Rush pocketed one and was then picked up by the aliens, Young frees him.
-Divided ***
A gripping, can't-turn-it-off ride. The back-again Rush leads a civilian mutiny, and the tensions over choosing sides are explosive. Then the aliens attack again. Major plot holes, but great fun...and pardon my being an undersexed male, but lt. James (Julia Benson) must officially be given fair consideration for the most conspicuous breasts in sci fi history.
-Sabotage ***
The exploration of our own humanity through the communication stones continues. With Destiny stranded between galaxies, they need to bring in Earth's top expert on the engines of the ancients. She turns out to be a quadraplegic...so for several days, Camille finds herself paralyzed on Earth, while a woman who hasn't been able to feed herself since she was a child, is inhabiting a perfectly healthy body. She returns to the closeness she once shared with Rush. A subtle powerhouse of emotions is explored...and scientifically, who's to say that some form of reality like this won't someday exist, even in our own lifetimes? On a lighter note, if you have sex while temporarily inhabiting someone else's body and contract an STD...does Hallmark have an apology card which covers that?
-Pain ***
Claustrophobic, raw exploration of humanity is this show's bread and butter, but almost as if to show that they can kick it old school, you're treated to an episode of traditional sci fi. Ticks. Alien ticks. Not impressed? Okay, how about HALLUCINATORY ALIEN TICKS!!! It doesn't fall into silliness either. The character work still resounds, but let's just breathe and have fun for one episode.
-Subversion ***
The most satisfyingly cheeky of the handful of SGU episodes Richard Dean Anderson has done. Plus a little Michael Shanks, if you fancy that sort of thing. Plus a lil' Rhona Mitra (HOLLOW MAN). We learn that Lou Diamond's sliminess thus far has been the result of Lucian Alliance brainwashing. WHY has it taken me this long to figure out that the reason they didn't name the show STARGATE: DESTINY (which would be consistent with the pattern of the previous shows) is because they didn't want the fan shorthand to forever be...STD?

Stargate: SG1, season 8

FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-New Order ***
Wait a minute...THAT'S not Dr. Weir! After only two episodes, Jessica Steen is replace by Torri Higginson (who would go on to a starring role in the spin-off, ATLANTIS). We love Torri, and maybe just maybe she does bring a little more gravitas, but we liked Jessica (EARTH 2) too.
-Icon ***
Really well-made. Jackson is stranded on an alien planet that has been plunged into holy civil war by the appearance of SG1. The ending is a bit too cowboyed-up, and it's questionable whether Earth would interfere to this extent...but it's tight and well-written, with a fine guest turn by Matthew Bennett (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Avatar ***
Every so often SG1 trots out a cliched, overused plot line, but just as you're rolling your eyes, they take it to a place that feels new. Teal'c gets stuck in a virtual military training simulation which feeds off his own personality. Because he would never give up, but ultimately believes the war against the goa'uld is unwinnable, he is unable to win or free himself from the game. Nicely done.
-Affinity ***
Hold on to your hats. Is this the first time in eight seasons that a romance on SG1 displays...what's that word - oh yes, chemistry? Okay, that season 4 thing with O'Neill and Vanessa Angel thing had some sizzle. But these are banner times for Christopher Judge. He's gotten as much character development in two episodes as he had in the previous seven seasons combined. He moves into an apartment in the "real world", much to the concern of the pencil-pushers. After playing "good samaritan" neighbor a little too Charles-Bronsonly, The Trust frames him for murder, in order to get ancient translations from Jackson. His neighbor (Erica Durance - SMALLVILLE) has an abusive boyfriend. Teal'c teaches her martial arts, and they fall for each other. Sexy, believable, and long overdue.
-Sacrifices ***
The second and final turn for Jolene Blalock (ENTERPRISE). A bit better-written (again, by Mr. Judge), but a bit more scattered too - with annoying gobbledygook about marriage. Christopher gives Jolene a slightly-contrived (but nice) vulcan moment with one of her lines about how someone shouldn't be "so emotional".
-Prometheus Unbound **
General Hammond returns, to lead the Prometheus' first mission to Atlantis. Diverted by a distress signal, they find a drifting ship. Its inhabitant manages to kidnap them onto her vessel (except for Jackson), then steal theirs. Daniel, Meet Vala Mal Doran (Claudia Black - PITCH BLACK, FARSCAPE), in her debut before joining the cast in season 9. Fun, but a bit "high school drama club".
-It's Good to be King **
Why do white people like Wayne Brady? And wouldn't it be cool if the SG1 episode to employ the otherworldly talents of Mr. Brady weren't a bit cheesy? Wouldn't that be so cool?
-Citizen Joe ***
This one burbles along, but its humor and heart ultimately win you. A barber (Dan Castelleneta - THE TRACEY ULLMAN SHOW, THE SIMPSONS) accidentally gets a goa'uld artifact that creates a mental link between he and Jack. For seven years, he has visions of SG1's adventures. The visions take over his life, once he becomes convinced they're real.
-Threads ***
Episodes like this make you think of all SG1 could have been. They were very nearly great, when they really tried. Jack and Sam resonate with character depth and development, in a way that is both understated and large - no mean feat. Have their walls finally dropped away? It sure feels like it, and it's nice. Add to that a Daniel plot line that couldn't be any better, as he waits in a celestial way-station, facing re-ascension or mortal death. If he ascends, he'll be prevented from interfering in Anubis' plan to eliminate all life in the galaxy. A three-way NO EXIT ensues, with Mel Harris (THIRTYSOMETHING) as the guilt-ridden being who helped him ascend the first time, and the sublime George Dzundza (BASIC INSTINCT, CRIMSON TIDE) as the hidden, half-ascended Anubis. Reunited, the SG1 team end the episode with a subtle, gratifying tip of the hat to the final episode of STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION.
-Moebius ***
A love note to the fans who've supported the show for eight years, and a fitting send-off to the Dean Anderson years. Let's be accepting of his departure - doing one season of a TV series is enough to burn out more than a few, and he did eight. Few shows go the distance...and what sci fi goes more than seven seasons, he probably figured. All those STAR TREKs? Seven. MACGUYVER? Seven. So let's give him a big hug, as he takes a well-deserved break (and relax, it's not like he won't be back in numerous guest spots and a couple movies). Here, the team goes back in time to get a ZPM, and end up stranded 5000 years ago in Egypt. A video they make is recovered in a present timeline where SG1 doesn't exist. The team is rounded up, and try to make things right. Throw in series stalwarts Jay Acovone, Peter Williams, and David Hewlett, plus ANOTHER death for Daniel, plus Jack and Sam sucking face righteously...it's all a bit obvious, but for once, that's not a bad thing.

Stargate: SG1, season 7

FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-Fallen ***
In a moment the like of which was all too infrequent, Jack's humor rises to a level of genuine funniness! The team discovers that Daniel has been deposited on an alien planet, his memory, ascendance, and clothing gone. There's some way-too-Star Wars action as Jack and Carter destroy Anubis' super space-weapon.
-Homecoming ***
A well-made adventure that can't rise above the fact that Jonas' character is being "made redundant" (or whatever euphemism they're using these days). Corin Nemec, come back soon.
-Revisions ***
As blisteringly brilliant as any second-rate product can be, and a thoughtful, understated example of something that's a bit rare in the world of televised sci fi - actual science fiction. No blasters or explosions, no mustache-twirling enemy (or mustache-twirling supercomputer), no soap opera romance...just a simple story about the remains of a civilization on a radiated planet living in an environment bubble, hooked up by neural interfaces to a computer that constantly adjusts their memories to keep them alive and happy. They are oblivious to the fact that their thoughts are being controlled, and their population slowly reduced as the bubble shrinks. A nuanced performance by Christopher Heyerdahl, who would go on to be the most resonant recurring actor in ATLANTIS.
-Lifeboat ***
Is it actually conceivable that i'm glad Michael Shanks is back? It is indisputable that he became a capable actor sometime around season 3. He delivers a brilliant turn here, as he has multiple alien consciousnesses uploaded into his brain. He plays a blustering tyrant, a level-headed technician, and a scared child all with equal aplomb.
-Enemy Mine **
I wish this entry (starring uber-supporting actor Michael Rooker - JFK, TOMBSTONE) had something noteworthy about it so i could dazzle you with the tagline "Here's Rookin' at You, Kid". Ah, here it is...the STARGATE debut of future ATLANTIS stalwart Kavan Smith, as Major Lorne.
-Birthright ***
An okay effort made magical by...Jolene Blalock!!! Sorry, i get a little excitable around ENTERPRISE's T'Pol. A community of free jaffa warrior females enlist the aid of SGC. They prey on jaffa any time they need a replacement symbiote. Earth offers them a chemical way to be free of the symbiotes, but old ways die hard. Teal'c and Jolene have an affair (if i had written the episode, Mr. Judge, that would have been my move too). It doesn't fizzle, nor does it quite sizzle. O'Neill gets a great penis line.
-Evolution ***
I may lose sleep over not giving this one four stars. Airtight, visually arresting, and atypically gritty. An army of programmed super soldiers impervious to traditional weapons is created by Anubis. One is captured by dumb luck. The hunt for technology to combat this menace leads to the trail of the Fountain of Youth. Jackson is captured by honduran rebels. Carter, Teal'c, and Jacob go on a mission to destroy Anubis' soldier factory, while Jack heads to the jungle, where he's guided by an embittered former comrade (Enrico Colantoni - GALAXY QUEST, JUST SHOOT ME!). This is what living up to one's potential feels like.
-Grace **
A passable episode of Carter stranded in space alone on a ship. Her hallucinatory conversations with manifestations of herself are actually well-made, with some depth.
-Fallout ***
Welcome back, Jonas! The instability of the naquadriah deposits on Kelowna are about to destroy the planet. He, Carter, Teal'c and a scientist (Emily Holmes) must take a subterranean vessel 20 km down. The scientist, whom Jonas had been romantically involved with, is exposed as a goa'uld. It's the most "human" any goa'uld has ever been. Nicely done.
-Chimera **
When push comes to shove, Carter CAN pull off sexy.
-Death Knell ***
A well-balanced blend of character and action. Hammond and Jacob negotiate to prevent the tok'ra/jaffa/human alliance from disintegrating, while Carter, alone and wounded, struggles against a super-soldier. This is some of the best writing that Carmen Argenziano has ever had, and he's up to the moment. His name has to be considered in any discussion of SG1's most valuable supporting actor.
-Heroes ***
Tantalizingly good. One dreams of that missing STARGATE writer who could have done one final edit of every script, and pushed the series into greatness. This one has the outgoing President commission a documentary made of the SG program. The filmmaker (the wonderful Saul Rubinek - UNFORGIVEN, TRUE ROMANCE) is an independent. His work will go into mothballs indefinitely, but he's still given the cold shoulder. Adam Baldwin (FIREFLY) gives a cheeky, satisfying performance as an SG team leader. Robert Picardo (VOYAGER) debuts as Richard Woolsey, who would become a regular on ATLANTIS. On a planet where the remains of an ancient city are discovered, the goa'uld attack. There's an extremely-effective fakeout in which you're led to think that Jack has died. Rather than being given some miracle healing or other cliche, we learn that it's Dr. Frazier (Teryl Rothery) who has died...just after she got her only romance of the show, with Saul. This two-parter veers from greatness to clunkiness, but is usually closer to the former. It's surprisingly character-driven, and does a wonderful job capturing moral ambiguity.
-Inauguration ***
A new President (William Devane) is elected, and Vice-President Kinsey (Ronny Cox) loses no time in attempting to further his anti-SGC agenda, with the help of his lapdog Woolsey. What a wonderful moment in time...for a few minutes, you fall into the dream of a STAR TREK/WEST WING magical swirl (no doubt helped by the presence of Cox and Devane, who logged memorable appearances on those respective shows, and Picardo, who did time on both). The fourth actor in this (oval) office drama is James McDaniel (NYPD BLUE). A few show clips are sprinkled in. Picardo loses faith in Kinsey. The writing is more obvious than a true synthesis of those shows would be...but with delightful performances aplenty, you can mostly forget all that.
-Lost City ***
Anubis' invasion fleet is finally at the doorstep, while SG1 seeks to discover Atlantis, the lost city of the ancients. They find the next best thing, a planetary defense system left by the city's makers. Were you to see this episode as a standalone, having only seen the movie, you might imagine that the series had spent seven years living up to its promise. Gripping action, augmented by burst-out-loud laughter. Its only weakness is that it's perhaps a trifle easy...but it's so much fun, you don't really care. Sacrificing himself, Jack downloads ancient knowledge into his overmatched brain. The world saved, he gets frozen in stasis.

Stargate SG1, season 6

FOUR STAR
-Frozen
Part of this episode's brilliance is how it feels so different. Instead of grand action or some alien landscape, they spend the episode dealing with the most elemental humanity, in a storm-bound antarctic research station. A frozen humanoid (Ona Grauer), millions of years old, is thawed out. She regains consciousness, displaying stunning recuperative powers. She cannot speak, and soon members of the team are succumbing to a terrible sickness. Jonas talks with her, and she eventually indicates she can understand him. In only his fifth episode, Nemec nails a performance that is quite possibly the best yet by any SG1 lead. His empathy and humanity are profoundly touching. Equally as moving is the almost-mute performance of Grauer. Her character arc marks the first time in SG1 history my chest tightened with emotion. Her recuperative powers extend to others, but in her effort to heal everyone she expels what little life she has left, and dies before helping Jack. His only salvation comes in temporarily accepting a tok'ra symbiote.
NOTEWORTHY
-Redemption ***
A two-part season-opener that's one hell of a ride. Anubis tries to destroy Earth by sending a resonant energy pulse through the gate. They have two days to find a solution. Rodney McKay and Jonas Quinn (Corin Nemec) help Sam. It ends with a fantastic NASA adventure, in which just about everything goes realistically wrong, with Jack flying an experimental, overburdened spacecraft into the atmosphere, trying to open a hyperspace window in which to drop the stargate. Teal'c is off-world after the death of his wife, and leads an attack on Anubis' weapon, with his underage son. The world saved, Jack accepts Jonas into SG1. That part's a little contrived, but Nemec is pleasant enough. Also enjoy a lil' Aaron Douglas (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) as a dethpicable jaffa.
-Descent ***
An abandoned goa'uld mother ship appears in orbit. SG1 discovers that Thor was able to trigger its self-destruct when Anubis accessed his brain during torture. Several assassin jaffa come out of suspension, the ship crashes into the ocean...all sorts of wonderful action on Jonas' first mission. And just like STAR TREK 3, they save Thor's consciousness! It's in a big leggo.
-Nightwalkers **
After five seasons, the first episode without Richard Dean. SG1 investigates a company that is experimenting with goa'ulds and genetics. Decent writing, but even with a flawed character, Anderson's absence makes for a hollow feeling.
-Abyss ***
Jack, whose symbiote has died, is captured by Ba'al. He is tortured, killed, and resuscitated repeatedly. Shanks guest stars, trying to get Jack to try to ascend with him. I wasn't missing Daniel, but...powerful. A top-five O'Neill entry.
-Shadow Play ***
Sci fi superstar Dean Stockwell!! An admirable little effort. Take a stock sci fi script, and toss in hidden schizophrenia.
-The Other Guys *
A couple of bumbling scientists being babysat by SG1 come to the rescue when the unit is captured. A game performance by John Billingsley (ENTERPRISE) wasted. Cheesily written. Embarrassingly acted. Amateurishly directed. The worst SG episode of all time.
-Prometheus & Unnatural Selection ***
Fun...with a lighter, more unbound feeling that STARGATE: ATLANTIS would lay claim to. A TV crew is allowed access to a starship the SGC is building, in exchange for their silence. Once aboard, they commandeer it and fly into space with the help of their goa'uld leader. Villain John de Lancie (STAR TREK) is possessed by the goa'uld, and killed (nice try, but his recurring character still can't quite rise above flaccidity). The asgard ask the low-tech Prometheus crew to attempt a rescue of their race, which is succumbing to the replicators. It's off to an alien planet we go, for our first encounter with the human-replicators, who will play a large part in SGA. A fun turn by George Wyner (SPACEBALLS), and an underused Tahmoh Penikett (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Paradise Lost ***
This one doesn't feel entirely "Stargate"...and that's a good thing. Maybourne's connivings lead to he and Jack being stranded on a lifeless moon. There's an empty, gritty, uncomfortable quality to this'n. Another O'Neill top five.
Disclosure *
For a while, this episode is as enjoyable as any clip show can be (he said left-handedly). The new footage that showcases the clips is enjoyable. General Hammond and Senator Kinsey (Ronny Cox, one of the few actors who can be counted on to rise above second-rate material) preside over a meeting wherein the U.S. reveals the existence of the stargate program to the ambassadors of the world's top military powers. Very few clip shows have the cajones to excuse the series' stars entirely, but this one nearly pulls it off. It all devolves into an enormous self-stroking of the SG1 penis...but still, you'll be laughing when it ends. The wrong kind, but laughter is laughter.
-Forsaken ***
Probably the most unobtrusive, unflashy entry on any "Best SG1 Episodes" list. The team discover a planet with a downed alien ship. They and the survivors come under attack. A shaky alliance is formed. The episode sparkles because of the absence of wasted or untrue moments. It's also dangerous, and a bit sexy. Jonas has had fine moments before, but never in such an integrated way. Stay, Corin Nemec, don't leave us!
-The Changeling ***
Certainly more enjoyable than that Jolie turd. Teal'c has visions of an alternate life in which he is a human firefighter. They turn out to be delusions he's experiencing on an alien planet, as he tries to keep himself and Bra'tac alive with only one symbiote. A fine entry, and it's lovely to see Christopher Judge (who wrote the episode) let his, um, hair down.
-Memento ***
On a space shakedown cruise of the Prometheus, the core goes critical and must be ejected. Their only hope is to short hop to a planet which is supposed to have a stargate. It does, but its inhabitants don't know it, as they've buried all relics and records of their barbaric past. The forces of xenophobia and paranoia clash with a progressive leader, well-played by Robert Foxworth (ENTERPRISE). Seamless.
-Full Circle ***
A decent season finale as the action returns to Abydos, where SG1 looks for an artifact Anubis needs while the natives fight a delaying action (and get creamed, but then all supposedly ascend...). Daniel breaks the "rules of the ascended", trying to help. Skaara dies (goodbye Alexis Cruz, the last link to the movie).

Stargate SG1, season 5

FOUR STAR
-Wormhole X-Treme!
This may be a bit of charity, as most of the episode is just high three-star. But the last few minutes, courtesy of actor Michael DeLuise (SEAQUEST), is uproarious delight. Martin (Willie Garson, SEX AND THE CITY) is back, with his memory wiped (again!). With one of his species' ships approaching Earth, SG1 investigates. Lots of cloak and dagger stuff surrounding Martin, who is now a Hollywood producer of an action series based on his unconscious memories of the stargate program. We spend much time on that set, where SG1 lampoons itself (and its leads, and Hollywood in general) very satisfyingly. Director Peter (Michael's brother and Dom's son) plays his "Wormhole" counterpart beautifully.
NOTEWORTHY
-Enemies ***
A worthy conclusion to the season 4 finale. SG1 and their ship have been flung across the galaxy, chased by Apophis, the only other survivor of the supernova. They hide in an asteroid field when a powerful alien attacks Apophis. Replicators find their way onto both ships. Teal'c has been resurrected and brainwashed into thinking he is still Apophis' loyal Prime. The replicators build super speed into the engines, to reach the resources in our corner of the galaxy. Can the ship be sabotaged, yet in such a way that all the stars of the show live? Hmmm...
-Threshold ***
The first all-out back story in SG1 history, and it's a good'n. Bra'tac removes Teal'c's symbiote, believing that a near-death experience is all that can free his protege's brainwashed mind. As his friends pour the truth into his half-conscious mind, Teal'c relives his youthful ascension to First Prime. If you feel the writers have never really tapped into Teal'c's potential, you're right.
-Ascension **
A home-made stargate in the basement is fun, but...this one's a head-scratcher. You'll swear the writer had no previous experience with STARGATE (though you'll be wrong). Saved from one star by the game performance of Sean Patrick Flanery (YOUNG INDIANA JONES), and the SG1 debut of John de Lancie (STAR TREK).
-Beast of Burden ***
An earnest, uncorrupted tale of the enslavement of a population of unases. Their human masters were their former slaves. SG1 tries to rescue the unas Daniel befriended, but things get ugly. Larry Drake (L.A. LAW) deftly plays the town's master. This is as good as SG1 writing gets, but in the middle of it, there's a moment that points up the barrier of excellence the show still can't crack. Anderson and Shanks have a face to face, and for a moment, you can feel the actors almost bursting into a higher, more authentic human reality. Then the moment's gone.
-The Tomb **
SG1 teams with a russian unit to investigate the disappearance of a russian team. They become trapped in a ziggurat with a goa'uld inside the body of a wolverine/octopus-type carnivore. One star lost for cliched treatment of russians, but otherwise very nice (plus a helping of Jen Halley, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-2001 ***
A surprisingly righteous follow-up to "2010". The aschen initiate contact with Earth through an unexpected source, and it's up to the SGC to discover whether they are the same race Jack's bloody note from the future warned of. Whatever you do, actors, don't play a love interest for a character the writers have earmarked for Mr. Dean Anderson. They might as well just hand you that red shirt.
-Proving Ground ***
A quartet of cadets go through SG1 wargames scenarios, overseen by Jack, in the actual SGC. For a while it all feels kind of obvious, but the fake-outs you know are coming are layered and satisfying. Plus a happy helping of Grace Park (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA), with baby fat cheeks.
-48 Hours ***
Unique in the show's history, for juggling three plot lines which all stay airborne. Teal'c gets trapped in the event horizon, requiring Daniel to go get Russia's DHD. Jack runs around with Maybourne, trying to gather ill-gotten NID intelligence. Sam tries to figure out how to get Teal'c back, with the help of Area 51's top stargate expert, the delightfully arrogant Rodney McKay (David Hewlett), who will be spun off into STARGATE: ATLANTIS.
-Summit ***
Feels like what the pitter patter of the first 100 episodes has been building to. Daniel is sent on an undercover mission to a meeting of the seven system lords, with a toxin that will destroy them all. He changes the plan when he learns of the re-emergence of the ancient goa'uld Anubis. Great visuals, and the debut of Cliff Simon as Ba'al. Michael Shanks is now offcially up to the task of carrying a second-rate sci fi episode. That's not as left-handed a compliment as it sounds.
-Fail Safe ***
SG1 does ARMAGEDDON. But once again, they sidestep predictability.
-The Warrior ***
Jaffa leader K'tano (Rick Worthy) has arisen, and gathered an army of freedom. He prepares a bold strike, with suicidal abandon. Teal'c and Bra'tac join him, and SG1 brings arms and supplies...but Jack loses faith. Some plot holes, but a powerhouse performance by Rick, a sci fi stalwart with recurring roles in GALACTICA and ENTERPRISE.
-Menace ***
SG1 discovers an advanced android in the remains of a dead civilization. They bring her to the SGC, and reactivate her. She's childlike and evasive. She makes a replicator for Daniel as a present, and they realize that her abilities killed her people and birthed a galaxy-wide menace. A lovely performance by guest star Danielle Nicolet. Kind of nice to see ol' General Baldy Hammond camo'd up and laying down some whoopass, for a change.
-The Sentinel ***
SG1 tries to repair a planetary defense weapon damaged by the "fake" SG1. The people it protects have regressed technologically, and have no idea how to fix it. Their leader is Mural (Henry Gibson, LAUGH-IN, in a strikingly nuanced, delicate performance).
-Meridian ***
The death/ascension of Daniel Jackson. I am neither thrilled (as i thought i would be based upon his early mediocrity) nor sad, as the attempt to make this an emotional farewell feels forced, by SG1's lack of character depth and the old sci fi "non-death" death. The only thing that moved me was the realization that Teryl Rothery has the sexiest philtrum in the galaxy.

Stargate SG1, season 4

It's starting to feel like there was some kind of revolt midway through season 3, where the actors threatened to strike unless the writing stopped sucking. I expected the run of goodness at the end of season 3 to be a fluke, but...the quality level in 4 stays at that level somewhat relentlessly. The reason seems to be largely attributable to one person - Peter DeLuise. This season marks the start of his run as the show's creative consultant (in addition to directing 56 episodes and writing 18).
FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-The Other Side ***
A tight, dangerous trip that focuses on the give and take of morality vs. self-interest. SG1 meets a technologically superior people who are willing to offer all their advances in exchange for the heavy water needed to end a war. In a surprisingly effective performance, Jackson is the lone voice of moral objection (Shanks has turned his personal corner, giving solid performances regularly now). Perhaps a touch obvious at the end...if these people didn't turn out to be so "evil", Earth's moral dilemma would have cut deeper. Well-lifted by Rene Auberjonois (M*A*S*H, BENSON, DS9) as the alien leader.
-Upgrades ***
Fun. The tok'ra supply SG1 with alien armbands that increase their abilities exponentially. Vanessa Angel (SPIES LIKE US, KINGPIN) is the tok'ra you can't decide whether to trust. The armbands make the team act irrationally, as they go rogue to try to destroy a new goa'uld supership. Teal'c saves the day.
-Crossroads ***
Now, Mr. DeLuise, don't give directors who are willing to dial up the sexy a bad name by simultaneously dialing down the intelligence. We suspect you're better than that; we certainly loved you on SEAQUEST. This one's actually very good until a confrontation between Teal'c and a goa'uld infiltrator comes off childishly, as they both indulge in "menacing" acting when their characters would never be so obvious. A former goa'uld high priestess (Musetta Vander, OH BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?) convinces everyone she has learned how to communicate with her infant symbiote, and taught it to hate goa'uld oppression. She and Teal'c fall in love. Musetta and Vanessa are spilling sexy all over the place. That's a good thing, but...to suddenly have Vanessa dressing like a Robert Palmer video girl, when every other tok'ra dresses like a jedi...as much as we appreciate the intent, it just shows a lack of imagination. Perhaps some more creative way could be found to employ her sexiness...some more, what's that word, "organic" context? Perhaps involving a gymnasium, or a waterfall? Or a gymnasium under a waterfall? I'm just spitballing here.
-Divide and Conquer ***
A well thought-out, well-crafted entry. Sam and Jack fail a lie detector test designed to sniff out goa'uld agents. Have they been programmed to kill the President? Can they be stopped from committing suicide if they're thwarted? Ultimately, they realize that they failed the test because they were suppressing feelings for each other. A major step in SG1 character development...but is anyone (including these two) really feeling the chemistry? Goodbye to Vanessa Angel...which is sad, because we love the way she kissed O'Neill and presented an alien (and of course, healthier) approach to sexuality. Also the bloody death of JR Bourne's Martouf, who had lent a likable, strong presence to the tok'ra.
-Window of Opportunity ***
The SGC find themselves in a six-hour time loop, centered on an SG1 mission. Jack and Teal'c are the only ones who remember the previous loops, and must learn latin to operate the machinery that will free them. After a couple months, they start to go loopy (haha...loopy, get it?) and engage in some sophomoric pursuits. This is the first time SG1 has ventured into what can only be called mild self-parody. The purist in me is suspicious...but i can't deny my smiles. This is the second time it's occurred to me to pair an SG1 episode with a TREK ("Cause and Effect", TNG). I'm not quite there, but i'm one step closer.
-Watergate ***
Actually a clever title, and nothing to do with corruption. SGC discovers that their original stargate was recovered by the russians. They were able to get it going, but a disaster brings a call to the americans. SG1 finds a siberian compound where everyone is dead, and the gate locked open into an undersea world. Sam, Daniel, and the sole living russian (Marina Sirtis, STAR TREK TNG) take a sub into the waterworld. Jack and Teal'c must deal with a retrieved water sample, which it turns out is alive and capable of inhabiting people. High marks for unpredictability. Marina is the closest we've come to TREK royalty on SG1...she acquits herself, and sci fi, well.
-The First Ones ***
Why haven't we had more episodes (or any) that put Daniel in a life or death situation where he needs to understand an unfamiliar language? On the goa'uld homeworld, Daniel is captured by an adolescent unas. The planet's waters are teeming with larval goa'uld, which present quite a hazard to the rescue team.
-Scorched Earth ***
Another SG1 that feels like legitimate sci fi. A refugee population has been relocated to a friendly planet. An alien ship appears in orbit, burning away all life below. SG1 discovers that the ship is terraforming the planet, to seed the DNA of a peaceful, extinct race. There isn't time to relocate the entire population. A hologram is created to speak on behalf of the ship, which can find no way around the dilemma, as the ship doesn't have the resources to start its mission elsewhere. Jack disobeys orders, to attempt to destroy the ship. Jackson goes against Jack's wishes, staying onboard to seek another solution. Look for a nice lil' slice of Alessandro Juliani (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Beneath the Surface ***
Yet ANOTHER episode that cries out to be paired with a TREK ("Workforce", VOYAGER). Of course, such viewings might only serve to remind one how derivative post-TREK sci fi can be...but then, whoops, "Workforce" aired five months AFTER this one. So there, it's TREK that rips off other sci fi! Of course, with only five months difference, the similarity was probably just fluky coincidence...indeed, given the circumstances, can it be entirely coincidence that one of the characters in "Workforce" is named Jaffen? SG1 find themselves working as alien industrial slave labor, with no memory of their former lives, except for Tuvok...i mean, Teal'c...and they struggle to overcome memory-manipulation. The writers missed a great chance for more humor, in the lines where the team get their real life memories wrong (or half-right). But overall, well done.
-Point of No Return ***
Willie Garson (SEX AND THE CITY) plays an erratic individual who contacts the government with information about the stargate. Who is he? Is someone drugging him? Silly fun...and look for Matthew Bennett (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Tangent ***
Stargate meets Apollo 13. Teal'c and Jack are adrift in space in an experimental flyer adapted from goa'uld gliders. It's overdue that an episode point up how helpless humans are space-wise, using technology way over their heads. Conventional rescue is impossible, and only one tok'ra ship can save them, but it's out of reach and undercover. Recurring character Major Davis (Colin Cunningham, BEST IN SHOW) is in no way flashy, but doesn't fall prey to any SG1 acting/writing flaws. Anderson's character has never been fully realized, but for one moment he nails a line that is worthy of the best Kurt Russell or MACGUYVER, with his delivery of "We could do better".
-The Curse ***
Will you STOP IT with this unending run of good episodes? You've accustomed me to a certain level of crap, SG1, and you're failing to deliver. This makes about twenty in a row. A treat for Egyptologists who may have loved the movie, but been disappointed by the series. Daniel learns that the archaeology professor who trained him has suddenly died. He returns for the funeral, and picks up the abandoned research thread with the help (and antipathy) of two formerly close research assistants. This episode touches on how achingly hard it must sometimes be for the stargate crew to never tell anyone in the outside world about what they do. An idea that needs to be explored further...
-Exodus ***
A righteous season finale. It rises above that "TV" feel, just a lil'. SGC and the tok'ra hatch a plan to use Kronos' stolen mother ship to ignite a star, destroying Apophis' fleet.

Stargate SG1, season 3

Economics and a diminishing pool of unwatched sci fi got the best of me. After originally deciding to abort viewing the middle seasons of SG1 due to a lack of excellence, i'm resuming for two reasons: the improved entertainment value of seasons 9-10, and the ridiculously cheap prices on Amazon. At first my choice seemed unwise, as the show still felt like the special olympics of sci fi, but then a funny thing started to happen.
FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-Point of View ***
Actual, bona fide heart...you may just have an emotional response (consider yourself warned). An alternate universe Sam and Kowalski arrive at Area 51, having transported from an Earth which has been conquered by the goa'uld, and on which Sam and O'Neill were married (though he died). They plan a mission to return and make first contact with the asgard. Tapping and Anderson's scenes aren't perfect, but good enough. Plus an unexpected moment of homicidal ruthlessness from Teal'c, as he murders his alternate, who is loyal to the goa'uld. That ain't taking care of a brother. Also, i understand the unforgiving, unflattering nature of television acting, but...it sometimes seems that the gap between Tapping and Streep is just a little wider than it ought be.
-Deadman Switch ***
Sam Jones (FLASH GORDON, 10) displays no small acting chops as a bounty hunter in this abnormally character-driven tale.
-Forever in a Day **
An okay resolution to the relationship between Daniel and Sha're (Vaitiare Bandera) which began in the movie. She deserves better, but whatever. Freeing Abydonian slaves, SG1 confronts Amaunet. As she is killing Jackson, Teal'c kills her. Daniel refuses to forgive, and resigns from the team. Visions from his slain wife tell him he must return to the stars, to find and protect her child. Another charming appearance by Eric Avari (STARGATE, DAREDEVIL) as Sha're's father.
-Past and Present ***
The most comedically-obvious "that's what we calls exposition" moment in sci fi history? But after that, it's one of the rare occurrences of actual science fiction in TV sci fi. A planet is found in a state of amnesia, with no old people. It's discovered that they've been used by a genocidal stranger (Megan Leitch), in a quest to find a youth drug. This stranger grew young with everyone else, but also lost her own memories, and now exists as their leader. She and Jackson fall for each other, then the truth is discovered.
-The Devil You Know **
Evidence that even Mr. Anderson was guilty of one of the worst sins of STARGATE acting, that of being unrealistically blase' during life and death situations. There are also times when the "dumbing down" from Anderson to O'Neill rings false.
-Foothold ***
A fine little adventure about a covert alien invasion (with body snatchers) surprisingly free of the usual SG1 weaknesses.
-Pretense ***
A charming little diversion featuring the return of Skaara (Alexis Cruz, STARGATE). Having crashed on the tollan planet, they put him on trial to sort out his plea to be freed of the goa'uld enslaving him. He arranges for SG1 to advocate on his behalf. A goa'uld lord prosecutes. Garwin Sanford (Narim) and Frida Betrani (Lya) return. The courtroom scenes are actually intelligently written.
-Urgo ***
Dom DeLuise (!) plays a holographic alien who is projected into the brains of SG1. He wants to heighten their senses, follow them around, give them subliminal suggestions, and learn...forever. He's puckishly wonderful - when he's onscreen, it's almost impossible to not smile. One more rewrite might have really juiced this one...in particular, there's no scene wherein he "suggests" amorous thoughts to one (or more) of them. But it's lovely.
-A Hundred Days ***
One of the few episodes that, if you saw it having never seen any SG1, you'd want to see more. During a mercy mission, Jack is stranded in a faraway solar system when the stargate is apparently destroyed. He and the surviving villagers rebuild. Three months later, Teal'c arrives underground at the buried stargate. Jack has fallen in love, and started a life with Laira (Michele Greene, L.A. LAW). No writing weaknesses. It reminds you of TREK's "Paradise Syndrome", where Kirk loses his memory and falls in love among pastoral, simple people. Instead of paling in comparison, seeing both episodes together might be a sweet experience.
-Shades of Grey ***
Jack steals technology from an ally, and is forcibly retired from SG1. The writers have "formulaic" locked in, but at least it's well-rendered formulaic. He gives a hard cold shoulder to all the members of the team, and the acting, even from Shanks, is up to snuff.
-New Ground ***
Pretty good. Strangely gritty. Has SG1 turned a corner?
-Maternal Instinct ***
A compelling monk (Terry Chen) whose esoteric ramblings are strangely well-written. Look for a baby-faced Aaron Douglas (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) as a dying jaffa.
-Crystal Skull ***
Tight, adventurous...with a grand feeling that should have been more common in SG1 so far. The team finds a pyramid that dwarfs any ever encountered. A crystal skull transports Jackson out of our reality, though he can still see and hear us. He returns with the team to Earth, where they enlist the aid of the only other scientist to ever find a crystal skull (and write of being teleported)...Daniel's grandfather (Jan Rubes, WITNESS), a discredited scientist who's been in an asylum for decades. He can see Daniel, but doesn't tell the others, out of fear of being called crazy. Jan's presence is pure wonderfulness, and not just because of our warm, fuzzy memories of Eli Lapp. You be careful out there among them English.
-Nemesis ***
Okay, what's going on? They've taken my regular SG1, and replaced it with Folger's Crystals? We're still not breaking the four-star barrier, but in the last third of the season they left two-star land with style. This one's a corker...visually scrumptious, with strong dashes of menace. Jack is beamed aboard an asgard ship. Thor is dying, his vessel being taken over by a lethal new enemy - the replicators, robot bugs that know nothing but consumption and reproduction (hmmm, it's a shame i'm not a bigot, there's a great illegal alien joke in there). Teal'c and Sam beam aboard for a possible suicide mission. The stargate is sacrificed in a rescue attempt. Suddenly, SG1 is acting like a book i don't want to put down.

Stargate: Atlantis, season 5

FOUR STAR
-The Shrine
There is a reluctance in me to award any SGA product four stars, as even the best episodes almost never escape the series' primary flaw, the unwillingness or inability of the writers to imbue the characters with genuine depth. However...when these credits rolled, the words that rolled off my lips were "that was great". An episode that feels like nothing you've seen in sci fi (okay, Uhura did revert to a childlike state once, but this resolution is entirely new). Rodney is exposed to an alien parasite that renders him a simpleton. His gradual loss of IQ is painful and poignant, and shows that David Hewlett was capable of much more than the writers gave him. The team takes him to a shrine on a wraith-held planet which supposedly provides one day of complete cure before the patient dies. Dr. Keller provides the most realistic-looking improvised brain surgery you've ever seen.
-First Contact/The Lost Tribe
Absolutely gripping, unpredictable, and breakneck, with stabs of humor for flavor. It's funny that the first title is a lift from STAR TREK, as i'm torn over whether four stars here is as great as a four in TREK. That being said...i couldn't NOT give four, as i don't think the SG people could have blown the doors off any more impressively. I bend over backwards to avoid hyperbole, so bear that in mind when i call this two-parter heart-pounding. Even more surprising, the guest star is SG1's Michael Shanks. He's grown since he first entered the sci fi universe, as a piece of balsa. Jackson arrives at Atlantis with a clue to a secret lab. As soon as he and Rodney discover it, powerful aliens in environment suits appear, taking both them and a piece of technology. The wraith Todd is at a summit with the Daedalus, exploring the feasibility of the DNA treatment that would allow the wraith to no longer feed on humans. On a distant world, Rodney is forced to activate the ancient device, which will destroy any wraith ship that engages hyperdrive...but also explode any stargate being used, with the force of many nukes. Todd commandeers the Daedalus, and is off on a race to the mysterious alien planet. They turn out to be a splinter group of asgard who would let anyone die to be rid of the wraith. Also racing to the planet is Sheppard, hitching on a traveler ship. Ronon and Doc Keller have some great moments as they try to re-take Daedalus. Everything, but everything, works.
NOTEWORTHY
-Broken Ties **
Teyla's return to active duty over being a full-time newborn parent should have come as the result of an experience demonstrating how her actions can affect the lives of millions. Her choice here feels too easy and manufactured.
-The Daedalus Variations ***
Three stars doesn't get any more fun. An empty Daedalus duplicate appears in orbit. As Shepard's team investigates, the ship flashes into a parallel universe. They find another version of their team dead, and realize that the ship's engine design taps into alternate universe energy, but is uncontrollably jumping them from universe to universe. In the next jump, they are attacked by frighteningly powerful aliens. Then they jump near a star going nova. They realize the only way to get home is to re-traverse all the stops they just made.
-Whispers ***
A tale of blind, predator, mutant hybrids who emit a spooky mist. Sheppard and Beckett fight alongside an estrogen-powered team containing Nicole de Boer (DS9), Leela Savasta (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA), and Janina Gavankar (TRUE BLOOD). Perhaps a trifle obvious, but with great chemistry.
-The Prodigal ***
The SGA swan song for Connor Trineer (ENTERPRISE). In nine episodes over four seasons, he was always compelling. Like all SG characters, there was untapped potential, and the writers pissed away the enormous sympathy he entered the series with. But a good arc (including an ending worthy of Nicholson) is nothing to be ashamed of. This episode deftly avoids predictability. Michael's forces take over the Atlantis control tower, leaving everyone powerless and cut off. They all attempt to foil him, but in credibly disjointed ways. At the end, the most humanistic character (Teyla) does the most cold-blooded act ever seen on the show.
-Brain Storm ***
Cheeky, delightful quirkiness. Rodney takes Jennifer to a physics conference on Earth run by an old rival (Dave Foley - KIDS IN THE HALL, NEWSRADIO), who is about to implement a dangerous idea he doesn't realize he stole from Rodney. 100 of the world's top physicists are suddenly trapped in a compound which is about to freeze solid. Foley is understatedly, spot-on funny. Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson play themselves, plus a credible facsimile of Stephen Hawking rolls by. It almost tips into too silly, but the menace keeps it in line. Jennifer briefly dies, then invites Rodney to join the mile-high club. He doesn't fumble the moment.
-Enemy at the Gate ***
I rolled into this episode with grand hopes, assuming that SGA had intended to finish after five seasons. But no, it was cancelled. For all its limitations in terms of character, the series is a delightful ride. As a finale, this one will leave you wanting more (the romance between Sheppard and Teyla that never happened, a resolution to the wraith problem, and Ford's plot line), but much like the series itself, if you can ignore the flaws, you'll have a sweet ride. They went for the highest octane action they could, and hit the mark. A super-powered wraith ship finds the location of Earth. Another uneasy alliance with wraith Todd (the under-appreciated Christopher Heyerdahl, whose unexpected moment of laughter is the highlight of the show) provides two ZPMs, and the whole city flies into hyperspace in pursuit. A battle above Earth ensues, with Sheppard already aboard the hive in a nuclear suicide mission. Parts of it are a little too easy (Ronon's death scene! No, never mind!), you might long for a little more guest star juice, and wish they'd been able to incorporate something unexpected...but enjoy it, because it's a burner.

Stargate SG1, season 10

FOUR STAR
-200
A 200th episode that is both tribute and spoof...a self-spoof and spoof of the entire sci fi genre. And it works. Great googily, it works. An unabashed fan of SG1 might need tissues (for laughter's tears or ejaculate, could go either way). The Hollywood producer (Willie Garson, SEX AND THE CITY) of "Wormhole X-Treme", an action TV series designed to get the public used to the idea of a stargate's existence, is turning the show into a movie. He is allowed to interview the members of SG1 for creative input. Their input is mostly awful or egotistic, but pretty hysterical (particularly the segments based on STAR TREK and TEAM AMERICA). For one moment in time, SG1 goes where no other sci fi had (or could) go. If that's not enough, how about some Richard Dean Anderson! He always tended toward humor, so he fits right in. Don Davis lends his voice to a puppet, and Isaac Hayes voices the puppet Teal'c. Veteran sci fi director/producer/actor/writer Peter Deluise does a fantastically filthy turn in front of the camera. Then, after virtually everyone gathers to go through the gate, the episode ends perfectly, as one of the spoof supporting actors rattles off some words which seem pompous at first, but are a quote from Isaac Asimov. After all the laughs, you might get a little lump in your throat. Brilliant.
NOTEWORTHY
-The Pegasus Project ***
SG1 travels to the Pegasus galaxy, for a combined op with Atlantis personnel. A packed, tightly-written script, plus the coattail effect of the superior chemistry of SGA, make for a dandy little ride. The entire Atlantis cast is present, as Rodney goes with SG1 on the Odyssey to sabotage the ori supergate back in the Milky Way (don't even try to make sense of the logistics). Daniel stays on Atlantis, to track down Merlin's anti-ori weapon.
-Uninvited ***
Extra-dimensional worms unintentionally freed by use of personal alien cloaking devices cause mammals to mutate into into super-predatory beasts (it's getting harder and harder to tell SG1 from "Keeping Up With the Kardashians", i know). This one's just fun, mostly because it takes Beau Bridges out of SGC and into a cabin in the woods, with antsy subordinates. Beau is a fantastically gifted actor, but anyone gets boring playing the same note over and over. Never mind the plot holes, and just enjoy.
-Counterstrike ***
A huge shot of juice arrives, courtesy of Vala's grown daughter Adria, a genetically-engineered recipient of ori knowledge and power, played by Morena Baccarin (FIREFLY, V). These costumers know their bidness.
-The Quest **
We're left to wonder whether this could have been four stars under the right hands. A breezily likeable adventure, as the team (with Rod Loomis of BEASTMASTER and BILL AND TED, plus Ba'al and Adria, in uneasy alliances) must pass a series of tests to survive an ancient maze. The visuals and sense of fun are almost palpable...but there's just a bit too much loosey gooseyness, and it teeters on the edge of the unforgivable sin of "showing their underwear", dropping us out of the illusion they're creating and making us remember that this is just a group of actors playing. Plus, they had gold in Adria as the final season villain, but they're pissing it away...in large part because they've taken out the contact lenses that made her so spooky. I have no doubt this came as a direct request from Morena...and i have sympathy, i'm sure those things must be staggeringly uncomfortable. But she's suddenly no longer fire and ice. Great to look at, fine acting, but...lukewarm water.
-The Shroud ***
Daniel, having been turned into a prior by Adria, is captured by SG1. He claims to have resisted her brainwashing, because Merlin's spirit cohabits in him. He has a plan to destroy the ori, but it will involve huge risk. Do they trust him? Richard Dean Anderson guests, and the chemistry is very nice. The writers have some sharp moments.
-Family Ties **
Comedic force of nature Fred Willard (WAITING FOR GUFFMAN, D.C. FOLLIES) comes thisssss close to brilliance, but the writing can't quite rise to his level.
-Dominion ***
Even without the spooky eyes, Morena bares impressive teeth. The smooth Cliff Simon gives us Ba'al's only ominous moment of the season. This tale of possession and dueling kidnappery is a beaut.
-Unending ***
The series finale to the longest-running american sci fi show ever. Is that SG1's only claim to fame? Perhaps....but this swan song simmers. Many diehard fans were disappointed, but being largely free of expectation allows me to see the good qualities more clearly. The dying asgard leave all their technology to humanity, but it comes with a price - automatic trackability. Onboard the Odyssey, hunted relentlessly by ori ships, only slipping into a time dilation (a bubble wherein everything moves exponentially slower) saves them. Sam needs time to come up with an escape...and instead of the usual "voila!" typical of second-rate (and occasionally first-rate) sci fi, months, years, then decades of failure go by. As a result, we're given what SG1 almost always lacked: in-depth character study. They all react to the frustration and isolation in believable ways. Landry dies of old age. Daniel delivers a searing rebuke to a romantic overture by Vala, a stunning performance that NO ONE in their right mind would have thought Shanks capable of when the series began. The producers also popped for a CCR song, and it fits in righteously.
POST-SERIES CABLE FILMS
-The Ark of Truth ***
Epic series finale delivered. It's a firecracker (though it teeters on the edge of testosterone-overdose). SG1 searches for an ancient device that will enable humans to see the lies of the ori. They are captured by Tomin, who switches sides when they demonstrate that the priors are fallible (ending a charming character arc by Tim Guinee). They're all off to the ori galaxy on the Odyssey. Julian Sands (A ROOM WITH A VIEW, BOXING HELENA) returns as the demonic high prior. Adria has ascended and taken all the ori power. A misguided bureaucrat unleashes the replicators. Hell breaks loose, with cookies at the end. Happy now, fans?
-Continuum ****
The second cable movie, and final installment of the saga. You'll scratch your head, imagining it to have better writers and a more expansive budget than "Ark of Truth" (you'll be wrong on both accounts). Ark feels like episodic TV, but Continuum feels like a silver screen gem. Ba'al, facing execution, executes a plan that sends him back to 1939. Jackson, Carter, and Mitchell end up in a current timeline where the Stargate program never existed. They try in vain to convince Earth that a goa'uld invasion is coming. The Antarctica cinematography is awesome. Alternate timeline Teal'c and Vala are given juicy realities. Beau Bridges is brilliant. William Devane and Don Davis reprise their series roles. The redoubtable Richard Dean Anderson is back, in both timelines. Stunningly good.

Stargate: Atlantis, season 4

FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-Adrift ***
A season-opening barn-burner. Atlantis is adrift and lost in space, with power rapidly draining. Elizabeth needs brain surgery, and only replicator nanites can save her...but at what cost? A mini-fleet of jumpers must blast a path through an asteroid field. One disaster after another.
-Reunion **
Samantha Carter (Amanda Tapping, fresh off ten straight seasons of SG1) is appointed the new Atlantis commander. Ronon discovers survivors from his home planet. He decides to leave Atlantis, but his friends are not all they seem. Gritty performances can't cover writing flaws however, including the greatest of all - SG scribes still don't know how to make an audience care about their characters. They want us to want Ronon to stay, but he's never been allowed to be much more than two-dimensional.
-This Mortal Coil ***
Unsettling and a bit searing. Prompted by strange occurrences and behavior around them, the team begins to suspect that something is amiss. They discover they are copies of themselves, grown in a laboratory to be studied by a subversive replicator sect who think eliminating humanity is the wrong path. The team finds a copy of Dr. Weir (Torri Higginson), and convinces their doomed creators to free them. They meet with their "real" counterparts. This episode will remind you how much the show misses Elizabeth, if you weren't consciously aware of it. Amanda Tapping is a gamer, but this is now two SG franchises in which her chemistry with the group is less than one might hope.
-Quarantine ***
Charming. One of a handful of SGA episodes that threaten to expand the two-dimensionality of the characters...but this far into the series, that can only serve as a reminder that it's probably never going to happen. Groups of people are stranded when the city goes into quarantine. Ronon and Doc Keller almost break the idiotic "nobody-kisses" rule on SGA. Sheppard must break a window and climb four stories up the side of the main tower - the kind of visual idea we don't see nearly enough of (CGI should be used more imaginatively than it generally is, showing us not just "gnarly battles", but images that would be just too dangerous via conventional methods).
-Outcast ***
Sheppard returns to Earth for his father's funeral, accompanied by Ronon. Family dysfunctionality surfaces, including a meeting with his ex-wife (Kari Wuhrer, BEASTMASTER 2). A replicator manufactured by an Earth scientist is loose, and they must hunt it down. Tight, with unexpected twists.
-Trio ***
Rodney, Sam, and Doc Keller are on a diplomatic mission off-world, when they become trapped in a subterranean chamber about to collapse into a chasm. The opening is twenty-five feet above. The episode plays out like a brain twist, as they use materials at hand to devise different methods of escape. Nothing works, including no "miracle" beam-out. Tapping's best SGA, and Jewel Staite is coming into her own. Four stars was within reach, had she offered to take her top off for the local boys if they helped (it would have been the perfect counterpoint to Sam's refusal to even consider the idea). But writing like that might pull SGA out of its perpetual wouldacouldshouldabeen, and we can't have that.
-Midway ***
A barn burner. Guest star Christopher Judge (SG1) falls into the better SGA chemistry seamlessly. He's been summoned to coach Ronon for an IOA interview. They fight, literally. On their way to Earth, they're trapped on the Midway gate station as it's attacked by wraith. All of your initial concerns (a mindless action episode, the SG1 curse) dissipate.
-The Kindred ***
In this two-parter, a plague is spreading across the galaxy, killing both human and wraith. The source is old hybrid nemesis Michael (Connor Trineer, ENTERPRISE). He kidnaps Teyla, having need of her unborn child who has wraith DNA. In a failed rescue attempt, the crew find...Carson! He has no memories of his death, saying he's been imprisoned for two years. He turns out to be a clone, and without Michael's injections, must go into stasis to have any hope of survival. His first moment onscreen brings a rush of relief and joy, as Paul McGillion's chemistry and character work were essential to the first three seasons. Jewel Staite is a fine replacement, but they've brought her along at such a snail's pace, it hasn't filled the gap. A tip of the hat goes out to recurring actor Christopher Heyerdahl, who puts in top-notch double duty as Todd the wraith and the athosian Halling.
-The Last Man ***
Enjoy the last five episodes of this season. It's almost as though the producers said, okay, we know we have limitations. We may not outgrow them, but we'll pull the throttle back all the way, to be the best we can be. The season ends on the most heavy Rodney/Sheppard episode ever, as a stargate accident sends John 48,000 years into the future. Probably the last human alive, he talks to an aged hologram of Rodney, in the remains of Atlantis on a desert planet. Rodney flashes back to the unfortunate events that happened after John's disappearance. We get to see Sam go down with her ship, Ronon and Todd die side by side, Woolsey (Robert Picardo, VOYAGER) take over Atlantis, and Major-turned-General Lorne (the stalwart Kavan Smith, who did 29 episodes over four seasons) take over the SGC. A scheme it took Rodney decades to calculate returns Sheppard home, and a different timeline is set in motion.

Stargate SG1, season 9

It was mostly morbid curiosity that drove me to watch this. After being unable to stomach more than the first two seasons of the series, i wanted to know what happened when Richard Dean Anderson left. You know what? As incandescent as Anderson is, his mishandling by the writers may have been SG1's fatal flaw, as this incarnation is better. And jumping gingolds, Shanks may have actually taken some of his "look, i'm an actor" money, and purchased acting lessons. The visuals have been kicked up to SGA's level, and new lead Ben Browder loses the ingratiating quality he had on FARSCAPE. Also joining the cast is Claudia Black (PITCH BLACK, FARSCAPE{!}), as saucy Vala Mal Doran. Lexa Doig (ANDROMEDA) is the new sawbones. Grrrowl. Plus the ever-underrated Beau Bridges as the new SGC general.
FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-Avalon ***
This two-parter kicks off the season with interest and excitement. Browder's Cameron Mitchell takes over SG1, only to be disappointed that the team has gone their separate ways. Fine flashbacks introduce his story. He tries to re-recruit the originals, as Richard Dean drops by to smooth things over. An Ancient communication device from the time of Merlin transports Jackson and Vala's consciousnesses into the bodies of two people a galaxy away. They discover humans who have been granted special powers by a species of ascended beings, the ori, who demand that all mortals worship them.
-Origin ***
Part 3 of "Avalon". Julian Sands (BOXING HELENA, LEAVING LAS VEGAS) is a creepy high priest who begins a crusade to convert our galaxy to ori worship, sending super-powered minions. Frightening and beautifully shot. Plus Louis Gossett, Jr, lending his weight to a recurring role!
-The Ties That Bind ***
A pleasantly amusing episode about Vala's charlatan past, pushed into noteworthyland by...Wallace Shawn! Yay!
-The Fourth Horseman ***
It's wonderful when the staggering number of elements that come together in any television episode, do so this seamlessly. An ori plague is loosed on Earth. They finally learn how to subdue a prior. A myriad of previously-established supporting actors hit just the right notes. Louis Gossett, Jr. gives his life in a literal blaze of (non)glory.
-Ripple Effect ***
A recycled sci fi idea, wherein different SG1 teams from alternate universes must work together...but it's so charming and tight, you might be surprised by your smile.
-Arthur's Mantle ***
Gripping, unpredictable, and deftly woven. You can't imagine how these disconnected plot lines might come together (Cam and Sam get phased into another dimension, while Teal'c investigates a disaster on another planet). When they finally do, hold on to your britches. And how about a little Doug Wert (Jack Crusher, STAR TREK TNG) and Tony Todd (DS9, VOY, TNG)?
-Camelot ***
SG1 races to find an anti-ori weapon created by Merlin, while the fleet assembles to face an invasion force coming through a super stargate. Grand, funny, fun.

Stargate: Atlantis, season 3

FOUR STAR
-The Ark
Breathtaking and pulse-pounding. With the writing hardly ever rising above good, it's easy to forget that SGA was one of the most visually advanced sci fi shows ever. The space scenes are nothing short of stunning. The crew discover a space station over a dead planet, and the last survivors of the world below in stasis. Freeing two of them, their lives are put in jeopardy when one attempts to destroy the station. Teyla shows a duplicitous side never before seen, which is unsettling but also understandable.
-Sunday
Told in layered flashbacks, and bursting with ominous tension. A crew member explodes in the middle of the city, killing several and severely wounding Teyla. The explosion is traced to an alien virus. One other crew member was exposed, and Dr. Beckett races to save his life before he too explodes. The day starts as a rare day off, and it's profoundly refreshing...we feel like we're learning more about these characters in one episode than in the previous two seasons combined. Sheppard and Ronon play golf, and Elizabeth has a poignant flirtation with the ill-fated Mike Branton (Matthew Del Negro, THE WEST WING). Stunningly, Beckett dies too. You keep waiting for it to not be true, but it is.
NOTEWORTHY
-No Man's Land ***
A high-wire, visual fireball. Two wraith ships are hyper-jumping to Earth, with Rodney and Ronon held prisoner, and an undetected Sheppard. The Daedalus and Orion catch them. The Orion and one hive ship are destroyed, the other two ships disabled. The only hope for Daedalus, running out of oxygen, is to unleash the retrovirus which will turn the wraiths into memoryless humans. With the assistance of Michael (Connor Trineer, ENTERPRISE), who is now shunned by his fellow wraith because he was once human, Rodney and Ronon are freed, and the plan succeeds. Dr. Weir is summoned to Earth, where her decisions are cross-examined by a civilian panel that includes Robert Picardo (VOYAGER). If they'd just focused on the battle, this'n'd be four stars.
-Misbegotten ***
The remaining crew of the surviving hive ship, along with Michael, all now human, are transported to a gateless planet and monitored by Beckett. They discover their true nature, overcome their watchers, and summon a hive ship. Sheppard brings the captured hive ship, and the decision is made to bombard the planet from orbit rather than risk knowledge of Atlantis' survival getting back to the wraith. These are dark, brutal choices that move away from the touchy-feely "up with people" vibe most sci fi shows (including this one, previously) are burdened with. The decisions are understandable, but your sympathies go to Michael and the other wraith. A banner day for moral ambiguity.
-Irresistible ***
Richard Kind (SPIN CITY, STARGATE, MAD ABOUT YOU) dives into a delicious character, a snake-oil salesman who discovers a plant that makes everyone adore him. He quickly charms his way from a backwater planet where he has multiple wives, into the heart of Atlantis. Sheppard and Rodney return from an away mission to discover everyone under his sway. The writing becomes hackneyed, but it's a fun ride.
-Progeny ***
David Ogden Stiers!
-The Real World ***
Richard Dean Anderson! Alan Ruck (FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF)!
-The Return ***
A shipful of ancients return to Atlantis. They are grateful to the earthers, but insist they leave. Our team returns to Earth and disbands, as Teyla and Ronon search for a way to continue the war against the wraith. The sense of loss is palpable. Replicators stage a successful attack on Atlantis. Disobeying General Landry's (Beau Bridges!) orders, our heroes steal a puddle-jumper and gate back, to find the ancients dead, and O'Neill and Woolsey hiding. A four-star appearance by R. Dean Anderson, and a gripping ride as they try to re-take the city.
-The Game *
Just in case you wondered whether SGA was capable of a really bad episode...it's easy to overlook this badness, because the production values and acting are so agreeable. But the writing is wretched. Plot holes, actions and attitudes that don't ring true...
-First Strike ***
A visually exquisite season finale. Watching a nuclear strike from orbit against a synthetic race is horrific, but the CGI images are incredible. The debut of Jewel Staite (FIREFLY) as the new doctor!

Stargate: Atlantis, season 2

A new character arrives in the form of Jason Momoa as Ronon Dex, a Pegasus universe native who has been a blood-sport runner for seven years, implanted with a wraith tracking device. Did we need a new character? Is he just a diversionary device to make us worry that Teyla and Sheppard won't be lovers? He's got charisma and acting ability, but suffers greatly from the flatness incumbent upon all SG characters. Can this plucky, likable, visually-wondrous show make the leap from good to great? I'll stay tuned.
FOUR STAR
-Grace Under Pressure
Yes Virginia, a STARGATE episode with a four-star rating. Not quite seamless, but this one grabs tight and doesn't let go. Rodney is in a puddle jumper that crashes into the ocean. The pilot sacrifices his life, and they lose touch with the surface. Thousands of feet deep, hypoxic and hypothermic...suddenly his old crush Samantha Carter (Amanda Tapping, SG1) appears. Aware that she's an hallucination, he works with her for his survival while they bicker. The presence of an SG1 character should be a drag, but isn't. This is a particular challenge of series writing, portraying life-or-death situations when the viewer knows the star won't die. If there isn't someone in Hollywood who gives seminars on that writing challenge and nothing else, i'd be amazed. This episode should be part of any such presentation.
NOTEWORTHY
-The Siege, pt. 3 ***
A ripping season-opener, as Earth sends an asgard warship to save Atlantis from the wraith fleet. My only complaint pertains to one of the series' overall weaknesses - there is a missed opportunity when Sheppard returns to the command center after the battle, and comes face to face with Elizabeth. They are so out-of-their-minds relieved and happy that one of them should have just impulse-kissed the other, right on the smacker. They've been living under the shadow of imminent, absolute death, but the show underplays that reality. There would be moments of genuine lunacy when it passes. It's not about a Sheppard/Elizabeth romance, just an absence of human moments which leave your characters not quite three-dimensional. Let's call it the LAW & ORDER syndrome.
-Coup D'etat ***
Finally, a fine episode that is lifted into noteworthyland by the luster of a juicy guest star (Colm Meaney, DS9). A fake genii insurrection against Cowen which turns out to be not fake...deceptions within deceptions...and O'Brien at ground zero of a nuclear strike.
-Michael ***
The most exciting moment of guest-star recognition in the show's short history. Connor Trineer (ENTERPRISE) wakes up in the infirmary without any memory. He is told he's a soldier who was rescued from the wraith. He's closely monitored, developing a friendship with Teyla and animosity with Ronon. He finally figures out he's a wraith who had his DNA re-written by Dr. Beckett. He grows resentful and violent. Well-written, and unusually dark.
-Inferno ***
The atlanteans help a society who inhabit an outpost of the ancients, on another planet. Not understanding the technology well, these people have had their shield on for too long, and the supervolcano they use as a power source begins to blow, heralding planetary extinction. The atlanteans manage to save most of the population, and salvage an intact ancient warship. Tight and dangerous.

Stargate SG1, season 2

And...the series drops off a cliff (okay, it was down there already, but any hope that the weaknesses of season 1 were just "workin' the bugs out" are dashed by continued residence in the land of couldashouldabeen). The show asks us to take these characters for granted, without showing us why...why their bonds (or conflicts) are strong, why they are interesting people we should care about. The writers often write Dean Anderson's lines as though Kurt Russell is still playing the part. The portrayal of contemporary military life is so unrealistic as to be laughable. Christopher Judge's Teal'c is a fascinating performance written with all the depth of a puddle. Amanda Tapping's Sam isn't charismatic enough to overcome the material. Teryl Rothery, the SGC doc, is fine. If only THE LIFE OF BRIAN's Pilate could have met her - "WHY do you giggew when i mention my fwiend Tewyl Wothewy?" Poor Don Davis's unidimensionality is almost painful. And the less said about Michael Shanks' Daniel, the better - there's enough blame to cover both the stiff acting and tepid writing. The directors aren't blameless, either. There are many moments of acting over-indulgence, when the characters should have been more responsive to a tense situation instead of focusing on a good line delivery spoken into camera 3.
FOUR-STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-The Gamekeeper **
Come on down, Dwight Shulz (THE A-TEAM, STAR TREK)! Here's a crappy script for ya'!
-Secrets ***
Worthy of a marathon with the movie and series pilot, albeit not with a bullet. Daniel returns to Abydos, to tell Sha'uri's father Kasuf (the charming Eric Avari, from the movie) that they've failed to find his daughter. But she is there (played again by the luminous Vaitiare Bandiere), her goa'uld parasite dormant because she's been impregnated by Apophis. Back on Earth, Jack faces a reporter ready to expose the Stargate program.
-The Tok'ra ***
It took this long for the sci fi universe to come up with a race that rhymes with "okra"?? If all SG1 were as acceptable as this, we'd have a ten-season pleasant diversion on our hands. Strong DS9 resonances here, with a race of human/worm symbionts. It's fascinating how a different context provokes an entirely different attitude.
-Spirits ***
Earth's mining needs on a planet populated by native american descendants cause trouble with aliens posing as spirit benefactors. Jumpin' jehosaphat, somebody pinch me. An exceptionally-acted, exceptionally-written performance on SG1! Rodney A. Grant (DANCES WITH WOLVES) plays the native Tonane with sublimely innocent cheekiness, and a wisdom that avoids the condescension that even the most well-intended native american portrayals almost always fall prey to.
-Touchstone ***
Brisk, compelling. A stolen stargate is used for nefarious means. It's occasional episodes like this that prompt the masochist in me to think about season 3. Look for the charming, disarming performance of Tiffany Lyndall-Knight (the hybrid - BSG 03'). Who knew that there was a hottie under that goo?
-1969 ***
A concept that has disaster written all over it...accidentally send SG1 back in time thirty years. But instead of a cheesy groanfest, it's sincere and heart-warming. Aaron Pearl plays a young "lieutenant" Hammond. Amber Rothwell and Alex Zahara play helpful hippies on their way to Woodstock. Under interrogation, O'Neill confesses to being James T. Kirk. And Luke Skywalker.

Stargate: Atlantis, season 1

SGA (moreso than its parent, SG1) feels like the kind of sci fi fans are accustomed to, because it takes place in a futuristic alien city, with adventures in space. This and BUCK ROGERS are the only sci fi shows to ever portray modern humans in fish-out-of-water contexts making self-referential pop-culture comments that don't feel forced. And for one stretch this season, the episodes become little yummies that you want to gobble like candy. But even in the midst of their best episodes, the dialogue occasionally descends into obviousness, missed opportunities, and a lack of understanding of basic human character. Torri Higginson (Dr. Weir) plays the civilian commander of the first stargate team sent to another galaxy. Can we officially, happily call it a new sci fi tradition (BSG, EARTH 2, VOYAGER...) to have a not-necessarily-young woman in charge? The affable Joe Flanigan (Maj. Sheppard) is forced to assume command of military operations when the ranking officer (Robert Patrick) is killed. David Hewlitt (Rodney McKay) is the resident grating scientific genius. Paul McGillion (Beckett) is the doctor with the funny accent. Rachel Luttrell is the local kick-ass hottie (Teyla) who becomes part of the team. Rainbow Francks is the grunt with a heart of gold. They discover a galaxy under the thrall of the wraiths, who use humans as a food source.
FOUR-STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-Home ***
An away team is sent into a delusional reality by an alien race protecting themselves. They all dream they're home...until the delusion falls apart. It's well-trod sci fi ground, but well done, especially the comedic touches in sheppard and teyla's shared delusion. SG1's don davis makes a fine guest appearance.
-The Storm ***
Nine episodes in, things come together. Atlantis is menaced by a super-hurricane, necessitating an off-world evacuation for all but a skeleton crew. The genii learn of their plight, and send a team to steal explosives and technology. Colm Meaney (DS9, THE SNAPPER) makes a return appearance as the genii leader, Robert Davi (LICENSE TO KILL, THE GOONIES) plays a genii commander, and one of those nutty kids from GLEE (Cory Monteith) plays a brutal private. A wonderful episode for Sheppard, who is the sole atlantean not neutralized. The fact that he kills instead of "humanely wounds" is a welcome touch of realism.
-The Eye ***
The eye of the storm passes over the city, allowing a stranded team of atlanteans to return to help Sheppard. Erin Chambers returns as a sympathetic Genii who loses a vengeance battle with Teyla. It hurts me when any humans fight, but once in a while it's okay if hot chicks do so, because you know if they just get past their issues they might, well, kiss (and even if they don't, you've got sweaty, heaving women). In all seriousness, something in this episode crystallizes why the series falls short of first-rate, though it comes sooo close. In the Teyla/Sora antagonism, the show never acknowledges what was obvious - that Teyla mightn't have left Sora's father to die if she weren't angry at him. It would have made the Sora/Teyla animosity richer and more human. Too many SGA character moments like that are short-shrifted.
-The Defiant One ***
A team investigates a wraith ship that crashed 10,000 years ago. A cannibalistic survivor is thrown into one-on-one combat with Sheppard, with a last-second save by McKay. Gripping and tight.
-Sanctuary ***
A planet is discovered which is protected by an anti-wraith weapon. The bronze-age locals resist the idea of allowing others to share their haven. Their high priestess (Leonor Varela - CLEOPATRA, BLADE 2) agrees to visit Atlantis, where she and Sheppard have a romance. It is revealed that she is an ancient atlantean who has been denied ascendancy as punishment for a crime, and is forbidden from interfering in off-world affairs. Gaping plot holes and preposterously unbelievable away mission verbal protocols...but it works because of Varela's performance and McKay's quips about pulling a Kirk.
-The Brotherhood ***
Another example of how the show falls short of greatness, with writing that too-often needed one more level of intelligence or finesse. Facing death, soldier Sheppard figures out a mathematical puzzle that eludes super-scientist Rodney. Sheppard reveals that he passed Mensa's test, but didn't join. This is a fine twist, but the writers missed the full opportunity. The tenuous point could have been successfully made that Sheppard outthought Rodney because his military training has taught him how to not lose focus in life/death situations.