I've been in a situationship for three years. I want to make caring for her a part of my life forever...yet she has far too often been THIS close to throwing our relationship away. Why? Because i don't want to stop wanting other wimyn.
This is NOT a weakness or character flaw. It's actually a little miracle. That i want to, and am capable of, loving more than one person, is beautiful. I mean real love, not the fake transactional bullshit we see all around us. Being able to see someone's fears, vanities...all our ugly bits...being able to see that and still say "I can love you".
Most people are too crippled in their own self-love, to be able to love anyone else. Against the odds, my self-love is brimming.
Real love. I long for it every day. In amounts that one person can't possibly fulfill. Any other fate feels like a prison sentence shockingly cruel.
Input all that into most wimyn's brains, and their heads will explode.
I get that part of this is biological. Males and females experience sexuality differently. There is much common ground, we all consume the same ingredients in the stew of love...but the quantities are wildly different. During sex, the female brain produces fifty times more oxytocin than the male. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. So it's entirely fair to say that no man will ever begin to understand what sex feels like for a womyn.
I get all that...and yet, historically it's time for wimyn to pull their heads out of their asses. To see the cultural aspects of sex, how it's been poisoned by patriarchal possessiveness and fear. We need to be smarter than our biology, else we will only keep perpetuating cycles of cruelty and self-hate. It feels like wimyn are forever waiting for men to be just like them. That is never ever EVER going to happen.
Men are not waiting for wimyn to be like men. They would never dream of being so willfully stupid. This is the ONLY area in which men are reliably smarter than wimyn.
Or put another way, most wimyn seem genuinely surprised when a man acts like a man. No man is ever surprised when a womyn acts like a womyn.
Science has learned too much about our biological natures, to keep stumbling in the shadow of our parents' fears.
Why am i picking on females?
Because if we're counting on men to fix the mess they've made of our species...it's probably never going to happen.
Fixing humynity will require wimyn to lead the way. In sex and all else, wimyn must lead.
At long last, let's lay our stupidity down.