teacher

When i was twelve, they came
Breasts!
Hair!
We had a lodger in those days
He loved baby brother and me
We played monster together
One day he raspberried our bellies
i became slippery
Sometimes just looking at him...
Oops!
Slippery!

One night mother walked me to his room
Put my hand in his
And said he was my new teacher
We didn't talk
He just held me
I had the most beautiful dreams ever

Our next night we took off our clothes
And talked
A tumbly word jumble
sexbabycuntcockejaculationorgasmlove
He held me in his naked arms
I had the most beautiful dreams ever

Our next night it was the word tumescence
When i bounced his penis against his tummy
the sound made me laugh

Our next night it was the word masturbation
He did himself
My hand on his, my eyes so close
Then he guided my hands over myself
(i didn't need much guiding)

Our next night it was the words vibrator and dildo
And two gifts
He held me while i played

Our next night he kissed me
Everywhere
Everywhere
Everywhere
It was better than the most beautiful dream

Our next night i kissed him
And tried to put him inside
How i tried to put him inside
He stopped me
And pinned me
And slid against me
For time without end
I came
and came
and couldn't
stop

Then i woke up
and realized it was a dream
There was no lodger
And my only teacher those years
was secrecy
and a mother who couldn't talk to me
and stupid boys
rushing, fumbling, trying
to
get hard
get it in
get off
get HARD
get it IN
get OFF
GET HARD
GET IT IN
GET OFF

Today i lodge my protest
There may be a body count