cassandra

As children we're taught black from white
and life is a movie we must write
And ever will we live in shame and regret
if we don't snag that shiny statuette
So we toss our lives up on our screens
Other people merely pawns, knights, or queens
I've finally learned that the only way
to win the game is not to play
So here's what i'll do
Not for me, but for YOU

I'll be your leading man
in some preposterous disney dream
Bathings, backrubs, babies
You-me-we, the inseparable team

Or make me co-husband number three
If non-traditional is sensible to thee
Have me in your harem if that's the way you go
Ten men for each woman? A logical ratio

Or send me to the wilds of Alberta
To your friend who bears that same name
She wants children but men don't want her?
Alberta from Alberta will be glad i came

I'll follow any lead you take
Platonic? Vasectomy? FWB?
I'll travel any road to make
you feel mindless, loved, and free

Why would i give my precious life
when it's not in MY movie plot?
Why would i give you anything
or everything i've got?

Because REAL trust, REAL love
have been eradicated like toilet feces
Extreme measures are called for
if we're to save our species

Because i feel the most perfect peace
when into my eyes you gaze
Maybe i'll find that in other eyes
or never again for all my days

i give

I give you these thoughts
and dreams that may amuse
I give you this mind
No need to search for clues
I give you these arms
to wrap you close and tight
I give you these hands
to rub you slow and right
I give you this cock
Do you want many or one?
I give you this cunt
For fertility or fun
Don't mind this morning breath
I'll do you from behind
Don't mind this breezy fart
Did i just blow your mind?
I give you these tears
My hopes and fears to keep
I give you this heart
to whisper you to sleep

tell

TELL me what you want
I don't want your fear
Tell ME what you want
I'll give - am i clear?
Tell me WHAT you want
Would the morality guardians jeer?
Tell me what YOU want
Grandma's ghost won't appear
Tell me what you WANT
Not what you think i want to hear

puppy

I want to follow you home
like a puppy
Show you my puppy tricks
I want to smother you
in puppy love
Bathe you in puppy licks
I want to scamper
inside your drawers
Make you laugh
at my puppy roars
Hide a puppy bone
as you gasp, giggle, or groan
I want to fall asleep
next to your heart
And dream of you
when we part

not-ends 29

Women can't pee-write in the snow - yes, everyone knows that. But it took me decades of having a penis to discover that that's not even the most wonderful thing women can't do. While i was peeing the other day, a dog lifted his leg near mine. To avoid his voiding, i crossed my legs in mid-stream. For a few milliseconds, i didn't know whether i was going to pee on myself - but i didn't! Then, while still peeing, i re-crossed in the other direction...just to prove i could. It was amazing.

Love is like a butterfly - genetically identical to a caterpillar.

Being well-adjusted is a mark of shame, not pride.

Do angel farts sound like bells?

In the game of romance, your presence is mostly irrelevant. People are going to act out their life's agendas, and nothing you do or say will change that. For all practical purposes, you could send a cardboard cutout (and if you did, you'd be less tired, less stressed, less poor, and perhaps even better sexed).

If god exists, It expects intelligent people to realize that there is no god.

Almost everything that happens in war is accidental. The only thing not accidental about war, is war itself.

Research suggests that women who use condoms are more prone to depression.

One of the highest levels of the spirit path is being completely at peace with being fundamentally misunderstood about that which you hold most sacred.

The greatest catch-22 in human history, is that poor people don't have the wherewithal to change the world, and rich people don't have the desire. If we can produce just one person able to think our way out of that hermetically-sealed cycle, history's first bona fide messiah will have arrived.

My contribution to history may be a new sexual position. Here's my signature move - during cunnilingus, i give one-handed footrubs to both her feet. It can be challenging - if you don't keep the motions synched, it falls apart. I'm accepting research volunteers (tragically, WNBA players are exempted).

bullhead o'reilly

Ah, IMDB. As some of you may know, the Internet Movie Data Base has a sub-section devoted entirely to something called "wacky credits". I think i've found the wackiest of all time (and not in the way they mean). In the two-part television episode "The Great Invasion" from 1966's SHANE, actor e.j. andre plays a character named bullhead o'reilly. It's the only time the character ever appears in the series. Simple enough...but wait! As listed on IMDB, in part 1 e.j. receives "credit only". In part 2, e.j. is listed as "uncredited". If that sounds confusing, let me fail to clear it up by explaining that what they mean is that andre DOESN'T appear in part 1 (even though he's given credit), and DOES appear in part 2 (even though he doesn't receive credit). In other words, he wasn't there when he was there, and he was there when he wasn't there. Everybody clear? Aside from violating any number of the laws of time and space, this presumptive mistake is the most fascinating credit snafu i've ever seen. Is it IMDB's error? A boner in the original show credits? Is there any possible way it could be true?? If so, SHANE was decades ahead of its time in terms of post-modern irony. Any fans out there who can clear this up?
Yes, i need to get out of the house more...but scroll down yourself! If you dare...
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0029191/?ref_=tt_cl_t8

this game

Your smile makes me feel drugged
I want to drink it
Pour it in my ears
May i stand at your heart's door?
Chase your loneliness
Erase your fears

How can i hope to find you
when i can barely find me?
How can i hope to love you

when love is never for free?

If we offered ourselves without greed

this world would never let us be

Might we fly on wings of giving

beyond pride, vanity, or shame?

Or must we fall back into living

this barbaric, depraved game?