not-ends 29

Women can't pee-write in the snow - yes, everyone knows that. But it took me decades of having a penis to discover that that's not even the most wonderful thing women can't do. While i was peeing the other day, a dog lifted his leg near mine. To avoid his voiding, i crossed my legs in mid-stream. For a few milliseconds, i didn't know whether i was going to pee on myself - but i didn't! Then, while still peeing, i re-crossed in the other direction...just to prove i could. It was amazing.

Love is like a butterfly - genetically identical to a caterpillar.

Being well-adjusted is a mark of shame, not pride.

Do angel farts sound like bells?

In the game of romance, your presence is mostly irrelevant. People are going to act out their life's agendas, and nothing you do or say will change that. For all practical purposes, you could send a cardboard cutout (and if you did, you'd be less tired, less stressed, less poor, and perhaps even better sexed).

If god exists, It expects intelligent people to realize that there is no god.

Almost everything that happens in war is accidental. The only thing not accidental about war, is war itself.

Research suggests that women who use condoms are more prone to depression.

One of the highest levels of the spirit path is being completely at peace with being fundamentally misunderstood about that which you hold most sacred.

The greatest catch-22 in human history, is that poor people don't have the wherewithal to change the world, and rich people don't have the desire. If we can produce just one person able to think our way out of that hermetically-sealed cycle, history's first bona fide messiah will have arrived.

My contribution to history may be a new sexual position. Here's my signature move - during cunnilingus, i give one-handed footrubs to both her feet. It can be challenging - if you don't keep the motions synched, it falls apart. I'm accepting research volunteers (tragically, WNBA players are exempted).