I'll Be Washing You

(parody of "Every Breath You Take", by gordon sumner)

I love you more every day
But i just gotta say
When get downwind of you
it stinks like holy poo
so i'll be washing you
Put your clothes in this bag
You smell like a stanky old rag

I don't mean to nag
but you're making me gag
so i'll be washing you
Your hygiene is obscene, making me turn green
Your holy funk of doom could clear out any room
All our friends agree
you smell like horse pee
Just between you and me
you make strangers flee
so i'll be washing you

Stripping you down and tossing you in the tub
Time for some righteous rub-a-dub-dub
Your undercarriage needs extra attention
Orifices we shouldn't mention
I keep gagging baby, baby, please

Everyone agrees you smell like a sewer
Making love with you is like rolling in manure

Every pit and every crack
Top to bottom, front to back
Only one thing you lack
Your odor i can't hack so
I'll be washing you
I'll use a scouring pad 
The town will be so glad

I'll be washing you

I'll use a fire hose, we'll burn all your clothes
With a pin on my nose, make you smell like a rose
Disinfectants and bleach
I'll do the underhand reach
Make you smell like a peach

You just polluted the beach so
I'll be washing you

I'll be washing you

Throw you in a pond

Throw you in a lake

Your stench i cannot take

I'll be washing you

Toss you in a river

Toss you in a lagoon

They can smell you on the moon

so i'll be washing you

Throw you in a puddle

Throw you in a pool

You smell like a stool

I'll be washing you