THEATER 48
-summer 1999
Jason asked whether i was interested in reading for a play to be performed in a new dinner theater in Bonita, about twenty minutes south. He'd been asked, but was too busy. I met the director, Michelle Moran, and she offered me the lead role of Paul. She couldn't promise any money unless the show sold really well. I was hesitant, but signed on because the part was too good to pass up (for all my experience, i hadn't played many romantic leads). It's the Neil Simon comedy about a couple moving into a tiny New York apartment, who go through a compatibility crisis in their first week of marriage. I often biked to rehearsal, well over an hour away (i had also biked to Sanibel rehearsals). I got along with Michelle. She was also busy as restaurant manager. We performed in the Flying Fish Cafe, on the ground floor of the Rooftop Restaurant. It was at the tip of Bonita Beach, right on the water. It was fancy, and in rehearsal we were sometimes brought wonderful food. It was a fun group. Sarah Cobley, a theater student at Edison College, played my wife Corey. She was bright and perky, and we had nice comedic chemistry. I was attracted to her a bit, but she was always a little standoffish offstage. Lee Meyers played Corey's neurotic mother, and her husband Joe was our eccentric neighbor Victor Velasco. He did a credible Hungarian accent, and the two of them were a pleasure, onstage and off. Sal Pedone played Harry Pepper, the phone man. Great comedic presence. I thought he could have picked up his cues a touch quicker, but the audience loved his scenes. The audience loved the whole play. The county's top reviewer, Maureen Bashaw, wrote that she'd expected a yawner, but Sarah and i played the parts as though they'd never been played before. Michelle was dating the restaurant owner, Ron - a genuine, good guy. They treated Sarah and i to a fancy dress-up dinner at the end of the run. It was all a sweet, sweet experience. Michelle was able to pay me a little when i agreed to run a summer theater camp with her. We had about fifteen kids, and they were wonderful. I abridged a version of Simon's FOOLS as their final project.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
smother
I asked her to catch my tear
She loved me true, she had no fear
She took my worst, she took my best
She loved me true, she passed the test
She stood by me when others ran
She loved me true, i was her man
I asked her to never fuck another
She cried, she died, her soul did smother
She loved me true, she had no fear
She took my worst, she took my best
She loved me true, she passed the test
She stood by me when others ran
She loved me true, i was her man
I asked her to never fuck another
She cried, she died, her soul did smother
Voyager, season 4
Was dumping kes justified? How would the show have fared had harry been cut instead, as intended? Or neelix, which would have been the most sensible choice? It's a cop-out to suggest that the writers couldn't have moved kes' character arc forward - they had already taken the one absolutely necessary step, of disentangling her from neelix. It's all rather unfortunate...yet no one can deny that the final seasons were better.
FOUR-STAR EPISODES: 4
AVERAGE EPISODE RATING: 3.1
-Scorpion, pt. 2 ****
-written by brannon braga, joe menosky
-directed by winrich kolbe
A bit less big-screen than part 1, but still...tight and nasty. The alliance with the borg fractures when janeway is incapacitated. Chakotay countermands her orders, after realizing that the borg started this war. Species 8472 suffers a defeat through Federation/borg nano-weapons. Voyager escapes both adversaries, with a drone who becomes separated from the collective. Welcome to our universe, 7 of 9.
-The Gift ***
Seven violently resists her humanity, as the doctor removes many of her implants. Do the writers soften her automaton-like quality a bit unrealistically soon? Kes's psionic powers increase so rapidly she becomes a danger to the ship, and turns into (pure) energy. There are nice moments, but a slightly funereal quality pervades, perhaps fed by the actors' conflicted energies.
-Day of Honor ***
B'elanna decides to honor her klingon heritage, by embracing masochistic rituals. Then she chucks the idea. Then regrets it. An accident forces the warp core to be ejected. She and paris chase it in a shuttle, but end up adrift in damaged EV suits. The cinematography is beautiful...and while the image of them suffocating together is the high point of their romance, it has much greater resonance in the abstract, as a metaphor for all romance in our repressed culture. The image of two lovers trying to connect through space suits is so horribly apt. We fumblingly try to love and be loved, but are so completely walled in by the fears that most of us can only begin to unravel, that virtually no lovers are ever able to peel off our "suits".
-Nemesis ***
A fine episode - and a missed opportunity. Chakotay crashes onto a war-torn planet, and soon fights alongside the soldiers he's fallen in with (not realizing he's been brainwashed as a form of military recruitment). All too often, the universal translator produces aliens who sound exactly like us. Here, we hear syntax which feels alien - a nice touch. What's needed however, is greater punch. During the attack on the refugee village, chakotay should have been forced to watch the girl being raped. It would have made his transition into bloodthirsty killer more convincing. Everything else about the episode is spot-on, especially the tapping into our "ugly" bias by having the "nemesis" look bestial (dead ringers for PREDATOR aliens, actually)...when in point of fact they may have been the conciliatory, aggrieved ones. Even an implied rape would have added the necessary touch. Shame on whomever was minding the store - you, director alexander singer?
-Revulsion ***
Responding to a distress call from a ship with one nervous survivor (a hologram), torres and the doctor try to help. The rest of the crew weren't killed by outside forces, however. The damaged hologram became a germophobe, killing all aboard. He tries to kill torres, and convince the doc to run away with him. A disturbing performance by leland orser (ALIEN: RESURRECTION, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN). Meanwhile, harry is assigned to work with seven, and develops a crush on her. Her analytical response is classic.
-The Raven ***
After experiencing disturbing hallucinations, some of seven's removed implants regenerate, and she goes AWOL, in pursuit of a borg signal (or is it?). She discovers the wreckage of the vessel in which she lived as a child. If you're inclined to think that jeri ryan is a gratuitous, talentless joke, take note of the scene in which she eats solid food for the first time in twenty years. She's captivating, and ever so subtly funny.
-Scientific Method ***
Bizarre medical conditions arise shipwide. Seven and the doctor discover out-of-phase aliens performing experiments. Her presence feels seamless, and her chemistry with the doctor begins to germinate. The first time it feels like she's always been there.
-Year of Hell 1&2 ****
-written by brannon braga, joe menosky
-directed by allan kroeker, michael vejar
Voyager gets caught up in the efforts of an alien ship trying to restore a lost empire by eliminating entire species from history. The ship exists outside time, and has been on its mission for 200 years, led by the obsessed annorax (kurtwood smith - THAT 70's SHOW, STAR TREK VI). A fine turn is also rendered by john loprieno (ONE LIFE TO LIVE, DEATH OF A PRESIDENT), as the loyal but conflicted first officer. Relentlessly attacked, Voyager's damage is stunning: people die, tuvok is blinded (a curious choice for a species with an extra set of eyelids), entire decks explode, and the hull is partially ripped away. Chakotay and paris are kidnapped, and Voyager is abandoned, except for the bridge crew (and, um, the morale officer?). Mulgrew, all reckless grit, has never been better. There's a scene between her and tuvok that evokes the classic. Part 2 is more cerebral, as annorax makes chakotay understand his vision. Janeway crashes Voyager into the timeship, wiping its existence from history and restoring all as it was. Blistering...and more importantly, the proper way to invoke spiritual discussion in a TREK product (as opposed to the inappropriate clumsiness of both DS9 and chakotay). Annorax argues that time is somehow "alive", and janeway makes the same claim for Voyager itself. We cannot conclusively refute those claims, and more to the point, they can (and will) be pursued scientifically.
-Random Thoughts ***
On a planet of telepaths, b'elanna is arrested for thought-crime. Tuvok discovers a black market for violent thoughts, in this apparently crime-free society. Had they been able to pack a little more punch into the deepest images of tuvok's mind, this could have gone to a whole 'nother level...as it is, he single-handedly elevates this from two stars.
-Concerning Flight ***
John rhys-davies returns! Voyager is mugged, losing a computer core and other technology. They track their possessions to a trading outpost where the da vinci hologram is still running...and working for a new patron, thanks to the doctor's mobile emitter.
-Mortal Coil ***
In what feels like an apology for the DS9/chakotay mumbo jumbo, neelix experiences a crisis of faith after being dead for eighteen hours. He found no "Great Forest"...only nothingness. There's no feelgood backpedaling either, as he eventually ends up on a transporter pad, trying to beam himself into space. The episode flirts with brilliance, but goes out with an ending that glosses over the needs of someone with post-traumatic stress.
-Waking Moments ***
The crew are assaulted and trapped in their dreams by an alien race who have foregone waking life. Thanks to his training in lucid dreaming, chakotay is the only one left awake, and fights the invasion with the doctor...never quite sure whether he's still dreaming. How can you go wrong with a naked tuvok, and seven snogging harry?
-Message in a Bottle ****
-written by lisa klink
-directed by nancy malone
The best TREK can put a goofy smile on your face. Voyager discovers an alien signal array that has accessed a Starfleet signal. The only data compressed enough to be sent back is the doctor's program. He finds himself in the alpha quadrant aboard the prototype vessel Prometheus...which has been captured by romulans commanded by rekar (judson scott - THE WRATH OF KHAN, THE X-FILES). Enlisting the aid of a patronizing EMH mark 2 (andy dick - NEWSRADIO, THE ANDY DICK SHOW), he re-takes the ship and is returned to Voyager, which is now off Starfleet's "lost" list. Fantastic visuals, including a couple of defiant-class ships. Only three stars on paper, but chemistry makes it a joyous firecracker of danger and comedy.
-Hunters ***
Voyager receives letters from home. The maquis have been slaughtered, and janeway gets a "dear jane" letter. Tuvok and seven are captured by the enormous, armored hirogen, and learn about their predatory ways. In order to escape, Voyager must destroy their entire signal array. Crisp and dangerous. Chakotay and b'elanna learn that all the maquis back home have been massacred - had she exclaimed "fucking cardis" (or the network racist equivalent) in her anguished shock, this might have gone four stars.
-Prey ****
-written by brannon braga
-directed by allan eastman
Voyager rescues a wounded hirogen (the diabolical tony todd - THE NEXT GENERATION, THE CROW). His wounded prey gets loose...a member of species 8472, trying to return to fluidic space! Seven saves the ship by disobeying an order to free the alien, giving it over to the hirogen instead. Janeway no happy.
-Retrospect **
The doctor discovers apparently-suppressed memories in seven, of her having been assaulted by a trader (michael horton - FIRST CONTACT, DANCES WITH WOLVES). She wants vengeance, and the crew rush to her defense...too eagerly? There is a sense of missed opportunity here, in having her violated for her nanoprobes, a choice which feels tepid and familiar. The dialogue and energy keep dancing around the idea of rape - making it literal would have been so much more compelling in terms of character development and social commentary. Can't you hear the dialogue, as a distraught seven tries to convince janeway (and more to the point, herself)..."I do not accept this as tragedy! I was assimilated, a process a thousand times more invasive!"
-The Killing Game 1&2 ***
Hirogen capture the ship, and force the crew into endless holodeck battle scenarios in which they're subjected to mind control, not realizing they aren't the characters they're playing. Seven as a french chanteuse, plus janeway and neelix as klingons, are high points (ah, if only neelix were someone other than himself every episode). The conquerors lose control, and the decks spill over into one huge battle with hirogen, klingons, and nazis everywhere.
-Vis A Vis **
An alien swaps bodies with tom, who ends up under fire and stranded alone in a strange ship, as the alien tries to make hay with his life. Flaccidity seeps from this one's pores - they don't commit to the idea that tom had been (understandably) disenchanted with his life, then they gloss it all over at the end. And hold on...we seem to have a winner in the "who-will-hump-a-delta-quadrant-alien-first" contest*, as b'elanna has nookie with the fake paris! It only took us...four seasons?? Forget LOST IN SPACE, this show should have been called REPRESSED IN SPACE! *(harry's mating with kes's daughter is discounted, as that timeline failed to materialize, and seska's kazon canoodling is under review, as she technically wasn't a member of the crew at the time)
-The Omega Directive ***
Sensors discover a particle of awesome complexity and power, the existence of which is known only to starship captains. It could negate warp travel across a quadrant, and janeway is duty-bound to destroy it. Seven bridles at this, as the particle embodies borg perfection.
-Unforgettable ***
A fugitive requests asylum, saying she has been aboard before, that she and chakotay fell in love, and that her species' physiology automatically negates any aliens' memory of their existence. Having no memory of the affair, will he fall in love again? Either way, he receives the miss congeniality award in the WWHADQAF contest, as the first crewmember to shag a delta alien...intentionally. A resonant, tender performance by virginia madsen (DUNE, SIDEWAYS), but sadly, the writing doesn't quite rise to the level of the acting or chemistry.
-Living Witness ***
The doctor's backup program is activated 700 years into the future, on a planet that remembers Voyager as genocidal marauders. The rest of the cast appear as historical holographic simulations. Janeway is butch (no, for real butch, you haters), the doc is an android, and seven is a fully-borg leader of a security squad of drones. Evil Voyager!
-Demon ***
During an urgent away mission to a demon planet, harry and tom suddenly reappear, now able to breathe the toxic atmosphere and withstand lethal temperatures. A bio-mimetic life form has begun replicating the crew, and achieving sentience. This brilliant episode might make the top-ten pure sci fi TREKs. Harry's character also matures, at long last. Denied four stars by a too-abrupt ending, and insufficient explanation of why the original tom and harry didn't die.
-One ***
A poisonous nebula forces the crew into stasis, except the doctor and seven. Eventually, the radiation forces him offline too. For one month, she must face crises while dealing with her fears of loneliness and individuality. Then the hallucinations begin. This one has all the right elements, but barely holds on to three stars.
-Hope and Fear ***
Very, very good. Ray wise (CAT PEOPLE, MAD MEN) gives a beguiling performance as an alien who blames Voyager for the assimilation of his race, and fools them into believing that his holo-camouflaged ship is a Starfleet experimental vessel, the Dauntless, sent to bring them home. Once they all get aboard, he'll strand them in borg space.
FOUR-STAR EPISODES: 4
AVERAGE EPISODE RATING: 3.1
-Scorpion, pt. 2 ****
-written by brannon braga, joe menosky
-directed by winrich kolbe
A bit less big-screen than part 1, but still...tight and nasty. The alliance with the borg fractures when janeway is incapacitated. Chakotay countermands her orders, after realizing that the borg started this war. Species 8472 suffers a defeat through Federation/borg nano-weapons. Voyager escapes both adversaries, with a drone who becomes separated from the collective. Welcome to our universe, 7 of 9.
-The Gift ***
Seven violently resists her humanity, as the doctor removes many of her implants. Do the writers soften her automaton-like quality a bit unrealistically soon? Kes's psionic powers increase so rapidly she becomes a danger to the ship, and turns into (pure) energy. There are nice moments, but a slightly funereal quality pervades, perhaps fed by the actors' conflicted energies.
-Day of Honor ***
B'elanna decides to honor her klingon heritage, by embracing masochistic rituals. Then she chucks the idea. Then regrets it. An accident forces the warp core to be ejected. She and paris chase it in a shuttle, but end up adrift in damaged EV suits. The cinematography is beautiful...and while the image of them suffocating together is the high point of their romance, it has much greater resonance in the abstract, as a metaphor for all romance in our repressed culture. The image of two lovers trying to connect through space suits is so horribly apt. We fumblingly try to love and be loved, but are so completely walled in by the fears that most of us can only begin to unravel, that virtually no lovers are ever able to peel off our "suits".
-Nemesis ***
A fine episode - and a missed opportunity. Chakotay crashes onto a war-torn planet, and soon fights alongside the soldiers he's fallen in with (not realizing he's been brainwashed as a form of military recruitment). All too often, the universal translator produces aliens who sound exactly like us. Here, we hear syntax which feels alien - a nice touch. What's needed however, is greater punch. During the attack on the refugee village, chakotay should have been forced to watch the girl being raped. It would have made his transition into bloodthirsty killer more convincing. Everything else about the episode is spot-on, especially the tapping into our "ugly" bias by having the "nemesis" look bestial (dead ringers for PREDATOR aliens, actually)...when in point of fact they may have been the conciliatory, aggrieved ones. Even an implied rape would have added the necessary touch. Shame on whomever was minding the store - you, director alexander singer?
-Revulsion ***
Responding to a distress call from a ship with one nervous survivor (a hologram), torres and the doctor try to help. The rest of the crew weren't killed by outside forces, however. The damaged hologram became a germophobe, killing all aboard. He tries to kill torres, and convince the doc to run away with him. A disturbing performance by leland orser (ALIEN: RESURRECTION, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN). Meanwhile, harry is assigned to work with seven, and develops a crush on her. Her analytical response is classic.
-The Raven ***
After experiencing disturbing hallucinations, some of seven's removed implants regenerate, and she goes AWOL, in pursuit of a borg signal (or is it?). She discovers the wreckage of the vessel in which she lived as a child. If you're inclined to think that jeri ryan is a gratuitous, talentless joke, take note of the scene in which she eats solid food for the first time in twenty years. She's captivating, and ever so subtly funny.
-Scientific Method ***
Bizarre medical conditions arise shipwide. Seven and the doctor discover out-of-phase aliens performing experiments. Her presence feels seamless, and her chemistry with the doctor begins to germinate. The first time it feels like she's always been there.
-Year of Hell 1&2 ****
-written by brannon braga, joe menosky
-directed by allan kroeker, michael vejar
Voyager gets caught up in the efforts of an alien ship trying to restore a lost empire by eliminating entire species from history. The ship exists outside time, and has been on its mission for 200 years, led by the obsessed annorax (kurtwood smith - THAT 70's SHOW, STAR TREK VI). A fine turn is also rendered by john loprieno (ONE LIFE TO LIVE, DEATH OF A PRESIDENT), as the loyal but conflicted first officer. Relentlessly attacked, Voyager's damage is stunning: people die, tuvok is blinded (a curious choice for a species with an extra set of eyelids), entire decks explode, and the hull is partially ripped away. Chakotay and paris are kidnapped, and Voyager is abandoned, except for the bridge crew (and, um, the morale officer?). Mulgrew, all reckless grit, has never been better. There's a scene between her and tuvok that evokes the classic. Part 2 is more cerebral, as annorax makes chakotay understand his vision. Janeway crashes Voyager into the timeship, wiping its existence from history and restoring all as it was. Blistering...and more importantly, the proper way to invoke spiritual discussion in a TREK product (as opposed to the inappropriate clumsiness of both DS9 and chakotay). Annorax argues that time is somehow "alive", and janeway makes the same claim for Voyager itself. We cannot conclusively refute those claims, and more to the point, they can (and will) be pursued scientifically.
-Random Thoughts ***
On a planet of telepaths, b'elanna is arrested for thought-crime. Tuvok discovers a black market for violent thoughts, in this apparently crime-free society. Had they been able to pack a little more punch into the deepest images of tuvok's mind, this could have gone to a whole 'nother level...as it is, he single-handedly elevates this from two stars.
-Concerning Flight ***
John rhys-davies returns! Voyager is mugged, losing a computer core and other technology. They track their possessions to a trading outpost where the da vinci hologram is still running...and working for a new patron, thanks to the doctor's mobile emitter.
-Mortal Coil ***
In what feels like an apology for the DS9/chakotay mumbo jumbo, neelix experiences a crisis of faith after being dead for eighteen hours. He found no "Great Forest"...only nothingness. There's no feelgood backpedaling either, as he eventually ends up on a transporter pad, trying to beam himself into space. The episode flirts with brilliance, but goes out with an ending that glosses over the needs of someone with post-traumatic stress.
-Waking Moments ***
The crew are assaulted and trapped in their dreams by an alien race who have foregone waking life. Thanks to his training in lucid dreaming, chakotay is the only one left awake, and fights the invasion with the doctor...never quite sure whether he's still dreaming. How can you go wrong with a naked tuvok, and seven snogging harry?
-Message in a Bottle ****
-written by lisa klink
-directed by nancy malone
The best TREK can put a goofy smile on your face. Voyager discovers an alien signal array that has accessed a Starfleet signal. The only data compressed enough to be sent back is the doctor's program. He finds himself in the alpha quadrant aboard the prototype vessel Prometheus...which has been captured by romulans commanded by rekar (judson scott - THE WRATH OF KHAN, THE X-FILES). Enlisting the aid of a patronizing EMH mark 2 (andy dick - NEWSRADIO, THE ANDY DICK SHOW), he re-takes the ship and is returned to Voyager, which is now off Starfleet's "lost" list. Fantastic visuals, including a couple of defiant-class ships. Only three stars on paper, but chemistry makes it a joyous firecracker of danger and comedy.
-Hunters ***
Voyager receives letters from home. The maquis have been slaughtered, and janeway gets a "dear jane" letter. Tuvok and seven are captured by the enormous, armored hirogen, and learn about their predatory ways. In order to escape, Voyager must destroy their entire signal array. Crisp and dangerous. Chakotay and b'elanna learn that all the maquis back home have been massacred - had she exclaimed "fucking cardis" (or the network racist equivalent) in her anguished shock, this might have gone four stars.
-Prey ****
-written by brannon braga
-directed by allan eastman
Voyager rescues a wounded hirogen (the diabolical tony todd - THE NEXT GENERATION, THE CROW). His wounded prey gets loose...a member of species 8472, trying to return to fluidic space! Seven saves the ship by disobeying an order to free the alien, giving it over to the hirogen instead. Janeway no happy.
-Retrospect **
The doctor discovers apparently-suppressed memories in seven, of her having been assaulted by a trader (michael horton - FIRST CONTACT, DANCES WITH WOLVES). She wants vengeance, and the crew rush to her defense...too eagerly? There is a sense of missed opportunity here, in having her violated for her nanoprobes, a choice which feels tepid and familiar. The dialogue and energy keep dancing around the idea of rape - making it literal would have been so much more compelling in terms of character development and social commentary. Can't you hear the dialogue, as a distraught seven tries to convince janeway (and more to the point, herself)..."I do not accept this as tragedy! I was assimilated, a process a thousand times more invasive!"
-The Killing Game 1&2 ***
Hirogen capture the ship, and force the crew into endless holodeck battle scenarios in which they're subjected to mind control, not realizing they aren't the characters they're playing. Seven as a french chanteuse, plus janeway and neelix as klingons, are high points (ah, if only neelix were someone other than himself every episode). The conquerors lose control, and the decks spill over into one huge battle with hirogen, klingons, and nazis everywhere.
-Vis A Vis **
An alien swaps bodies with tom, who ends up under fire and stranded alone in a strange ship, as the alien tries to make hay with his life. Flaccidity seeps from this one's pores - they don't commit to the idea that tom had been (understandably) disenchanted with his life, then they gloss it all over at the end. And hold on...we seem to have a winner in the "who-will-hump-a-delta-quadrant-alien-first" contest*, as b'elanna has nookie with the fake paris! It only took us...four seasons?? Forget LOST IN SPACE, this show should have been called REPRESSED IN SPACE! *(harry's mating with kes's daughter is discounted, as that timeline failed to materialize, and seska's kazon canoodling is under review, as she technically wasn't a member of the crew at the time)
-The Omega Directive ***
Sensors discover a particle of awesome complexity and power, the existence of which is known only to starship captains. It could negate warp travel across a quadrant, and janeway is duty-bound to destroy it. Seven bridles at this, as the particle embodies borg perfection.
-Unforgettable ***
A fugitive requests asylum, saying she has been aboard before, that she and chakotay fell in love, and that her species' physiology automatically negates any aliens' memory of their existence. Having no memory of the affair, will he fall in love again? Either way, he receives the miss congeniality award in the WWHADQAF contest, as the first crewmember to shag a delta alien...intentionally. A resonant, tender performance by virginia madsen (DUNE, SIDEWAYS), but sadly, the writing doesn't quite rise to the level of the acting or chemistry.
-Living Witness ***
The doctor's backup program is activated 700 years into the future, on a planet that remembers Voyager as genocidal marauders. The rest of the cast appear as historical holographic simulations. Janeway is butch (no, for real butch, you haters), the doc is an android, and seven is a fully-borg leader of a security squad of drones. Evil Voyager!
-Demon ***
During an urgent away mission to a demon planet, harry and tom suddenly reappear, now able to breathe the toxic atmosphere and withstand lethal temperatures. A bio-mimetic life form has begun replicating the crew, and achieving sentience. This brilliant episode might make the top-ten pure sci fi TREKs. Harry's character also matures, at long last. Denied four stars by a too-abrupt ending, and insufficient explanation of why the original tom and harry didn't die.
-One ***
A poisonous nebula forces the crew into stasis, except the doctor and seven. Eventually, the radiation forces him offline too. For one month, she must face crises while dealing with her fears of loneliness and individuality. Then the hallucinations begin. This one has all the right elements, but barely holds on to three stars.
-Hope and Fear ***
Very, very good. Ray wise (CAT PEOPLE, MAD MEN) gives a beguiling performance as an alien who blames Voyager for the assimilation of his race, and fools them into believing that his holo-camouflaged ship is a Starfleet experimental vessel, the Dauntless, sent to bring them home. Once they all get aboard, he'll strand them in borg space.
PLEASE sit down
THIS SHITTER IS A SITTER
NO STANDING WITH YOUR MAN-THING
I give my blessing for any and all to adopt these words for your bathroom plaque. Most men feel threatened by the suggestion that sitting to pee is more sensible than standing. Has there ever been a more obvious example of the degradation of women inherent in the very fiber of our society, than when asking a man to not stand? Most men recoil at the very thought, or start joking ever-so-dismissively. Sitting would make them more like a WOMAN!
No.
Sitting does not make you more like a woman. Only bleeding from your genitals would make you more like a woman.
Sitting is sitting.
Sitting is simply the sensible response of anyone WHO HAS EVER BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR CLEANING THEIR OWN BATHROOM. Ah yes, there's part of the rub. A whole lot of men still live in homes where such cleaning is "woman's work". They spray away with impunity. But the reality of tinkle spray becomes obvious the first time you pee into a toilet on a bright, sunny day, right next to an open window through which the sun's rays bathe the bowl. It all becomes clear...the slight spray that emanates from the stream itself, and the not-so-slight spray that comes off the water at the point of impact, coating all in a fine mist that extends beyond the bowl itself. At that moment, all you can wonder is WHY WHY WHY are men standing?
And don't get me wrong...a standing pee can be enormous fun! In the snow, off a roof, with R. Kelly...great fun.
But somehow the male fear and loathing of women extended that fun in a most messy, illogical way.
There is no protesting the facts. The straightest stream in the world makes no difference. Even if the sun test weren't incontrovertible, is there one man in the world who has never dealt with morning split-stream?
I think not.
Are you telling me, Mr. Not-Convinced-Male, that you just can't do it? Too unnatural? Hm. In other words, your sexual identity is so fragile that changing an act which you do alone in your bathroom could send you spinning into a sexual identity crisis? I promise, if that's the case, then everybody in your life has been patiently waiting for YEARS for you to gracefully accept your homosexuality.
Forget the mess factor. If you're threatened by sitting, it's long past time you took a hard look in the mirror.
So go. You know where the mirror is.
It's next to the bowl.
You can tell me what you've learned the next time we cross swords.
NO STANDING WITH YOUR MAN-THING
I give my blessing for any and all to adopt these words for your bathroom plaque. Most men feel threatened by the suggestion that sitting to pee is more sensible than standing. Has there ever been a more obvious example of the degradation of women inherent in the very fiber of our society, than when asking a man to not stand? Most men recoil at the very thought, or start joking ever-so-dismissively. Sitting would make them more like a WOMAN!
No.
Sitting does not make you more like a woman. Only bleeding from your genitals would make you more like a woman.
Sitting is sitting.
Sitting is simply the sensible response of anyone WHO HAS EVER BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR CLEANING THEIR OWN BATHROOM. Ah yes, there's part of the rub. A whole lot of men still live in homes where such cleaning is "woman's work". They spray away with impunity. But the reality of tinkle spray becomes obvious the first time you pee into a toilet on a bright, sunny day, right next to an open window through which the sun's rays bathe the bowl. It all becomes clear...the slight spray that emanates from the stream itself, and the not-so-slight spray that comes off the water at the point of impact, coating all in a fine mist that extends beyond the bowl itself. At that moment, all you can wonder is WHY WHY WHY are men standing?
And don't get me wrong...a standing pee can be enormous fun! In the snow, off a roof, with R. Kelly...great fun.
But somehow the male fear and loathing of women extended that fun in a most messy, illogical way.
There is no protesting the facts. The straightest stream in the world makes no difference. Even if the sun test weren't incontrovertible, is there one man in the world who has never dealt with morning split-stream?
I think not.
Are you telling me, Mr. Not-Convinced-Male, that you just can't do it? Too unnatural? Hm. In other words, your sexual identity is so fragile that changing an act which you do alone in your bathroom could send you spinning into a sexual identity crisis? I promise, if that's the case, then everybody in your life has been patiently waiting for YEARS for you to gracefully accept your homosexuality.
Forget the mess factor. If you're threatened by sitting, it's long past time you took a hard look in the mirror.
So go. You know where the mirror is.
It's next to the bowl.
You can tell me what you've learned the next time we cross swords.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
not-ends 12
At this moment in history, underneath joy there is sadness. Underneath sadness, a sadness far deeper.
What do you do when intolerance becomes intolerable?
The 69 position is rank amateur showboating. Science has shown that multitasking efficiently is a myth. Put another way, how would you feel if you were going down on someone who was trying to repair their eyeglasses?
If you don't understand why black christians are more disturbing than white ones, you've never researched something called the stockholm syndrome.
Why is there no feminine equivalent for the word "emasculate"? "Efemulate" has been proposed...yet what does it say about our culture, that no obvious definition suggests itself? Masculinity is so normative, and femininity so synonymous with weakness, that efemulate cannot possibly be a mirror pejorative for emasculate. Is "efemulate" is the new "rape"? A concept once so off-the-radar that the word didn't even exist...even though women were being raped all over the place! "Emasculate" is pretty idiotic, so perhaps its doppelganger will be as well. But progress comes in steps - to reject a word as stupid, first it has to exist.
If someone offers true love, you've found the best thing in the world. If someone offers forever love, you've found an idiot.
We've almost conquered race slavery and gender slavery. Next up? Other animals and poverty.
With the speed at which DNA science is expanding, there will soon be a period in human history in which the only premeditated crimes will be carried out by an identical twin. In such cases, juries will be unable to render any "beyond a reasonable doubt" verdicts. This period will end when human cloning becomes commonplace, but for a decade or two identical twins will be among the most richly rewarded people on the planet.
RELIGION-PROPERTY-MONOGAMY: the humanity disunity trinity.
I only have two fears. Death, and the thought that sometime in my nineties, i'll get the sudden urge to watch every episode of T.J. HOOKER.
In this society, there are only two people worth knowing: a successful one who doesn't know they're successful, and an unsuccessful one who doesn't know they're not.
What do you do when intolerance becomes intolerable?
The 69 position is rank amateur showboating. Science has shown that multitasking efficiently is a myth. Put another way, how would you feel if you were going down on someone who was trying to repair their eyeglasses?
If you don't understand why black christians are more disturbing than white ones, you've never researched something called the stockholm syndrome.
Why is there no feminine equivalent for the word "emasculate"? "Efemulate" has been proposed...yet what does it say about our culture, that no obvious definition suggests itself? Masculinity is so normative, and femininity so synonymous with weakness, that efemulate cannot possibly be a mirror pejorative for emasculate. Is "efemulate" is the new "rape"? A concept once so off-the-radar that the word didn't even exist...even though women were being raped all over the place! "Emasculate" is pretty idiotic, so perhaps its doppelganger will be as well. But progress comes in steps - to reject a word as stupid, first it has to exist.
If someone offers true love, you've found the best thing in the world. If someone offers forever love, you've found an idiot.
We've almost conquered race slavery and gender slavery. Next up? Other animals and poverty.
With the speed at which DNA science is expanding, there will soon be a period in human history in which the only premeditated crimes will be carried out by an identical twin. In such cases, juries will be unable to render any "beyond a reasonable doubt" verdicts. This period will end when human cloning becomes commonplace, but for a decade or two identical twins will be among the most richly rewarded people on the planet.
RELIGION-PROPERTY-MONOGAMY: the humanity disunity trinity.
I only have two fears. Death, and the thought that sometime in my nineties, i'll get the sudden urge to watch every episode of T.J. HOOKER.
In this society, there are only two people worth knowing: a successful one who doesn't know they're successful, and an unsuccessful one who doesn't know they're not.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
wound 5
(a follow-up to http://nakedmeadow.blogspot.com/2011/03/wound-4.html)
It's time to walk away from a spirit quest that can only end in death.
For years i've been pulling back the veil, trying to perceive reality without the filter of socialization with which we are all indoctrinated...while simultaneously re-awakening the feeling part of my spirit, long numbed by the desensitization we go through in this inhuman world. And i do mean inhuman, not inhumane. Our species has strayed incomprehensibly far from its natural state.
This week i realized i was literally dying from emotional openness. I've carried a sickened feeling in my stomach. This feeling is the start of ulcers and other maladies which pave the way to death.
It's time for sheer force of will to restore me...to rebuild the myriad walls we all need to protect ourselves and function in this world. Nervous breakdowns are not a sign of weakness. It's the people who never have a breakdown who are more fascinating, clinically.
It's time to resume the quest for laughter. I have long known that a child laughs out loud fifty times a day, and adults only thrice - and that any grownup who restores what was lost, will not be in need of medical attention for a long, long, long time. Don't take my word for it, here's Mr. Cleese in India: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXEfjVnYkqM. I've also long known that post-infancy humans are so touch-deprived, we all become adults touched by insanity.
Restoring the laughter will be easier. We're so afraid of being hurt that we either shut down our emotions, or only allow someone to touch us after a protracted "negotiation". Our inner natures scream at how wrong this is...were it not so, billions of people wouldn't be off to the ol' watering hole every night. Bars serve a dual purpose. They dull our pain while putting us in the company of dulled, uninhibited people. Bars offer some of the human touch we so desperately need (even if it comes with an undesired price tag the morning after).
I want so much to lay down my psychological garbage, to love and be loved...yet finding people or a person who is undamaged enough do the same is a tall order.
It was nothing earth-shattering that pushed me over the edge, it was normal life. I had two ongoing contentious discussions, one with dad and one with a friend. They weren't even overtly malicious...but my sensitivity to psycho-spiritual aggression has become so attuned, that each talk required an immense effort of will.
And i was reading a book. "The War Against Women", by Marilyn French. My tipping point came on the subway. I opened the book, and began a chapter on genital mutilation. After less than fifteen seconds, all i could do was lean forward and quietly gasp, head between my knees.
Even writing about it now brings back the pain. I don't know how long it will be before i can finish the book.
I'm no good to the world dead (although that would make a fun debate topic, on several levels). So i'll take a few steps back into that place of denial and self-absorption where we must live. I'll not forget the lessons i've learned. The path i walked is one that claims us all, in one way or another.
Look for me in the meadow. I'll be the one giggling or humping.
Maybe both.
Somebody loves you all.
Very soon, it might be me.
It's time to walk away from a spirit quest that can only end in death.
For years i've been pulling back the veil, trying to perceive reality without the filter of socialization with which we are all indoctrinated...while simultaneously re-awakening the feeling part of my spirit, long numbed by the desensitization we go through in this inhuman world. And i do mean inhuman, not inhumane. Our species has strayed incomprehensibly far from its natural state.
This week i realized i was literally dying from emotional openness. I've carried a sickened feeling in my stomach. This feeling is the start of ulcers and other maladies which pave the way to death.
It's time for sheer force of will to restore me...to rebuild the myriad walls we all need to protect ourselves and function in this world. Nervous breakdowns are not a sign of weakness. It's the people who never have a breakdown who are more fascinating, clinically.
It's time to resume the quest for laughter. I have long known that a child laughs out loud fifty times a day, and adults only thrice - and that any grownup who restores what was lost, will not be in need of medical attention for a long, long, long time. Don't take my word for it, here's Mr. Cleese in India: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXEfjVnYkqM. I've also long known that post-infancy humans are so touch-deprived, we all become adults touched by insanity.
Restoring the laughter will be easier. We're so afraid of being hurt that we either shut down our emotions, or only allow someone to touch us after a protracted "negotiation". Our inner natures scream at how wrong this is...were it not so, billions of people wouldn't be off to the ol' watering hole every night. Bars serve a dual purpose. They dull our pain while putting us in the company of dulled, uninhibited people. Bars offer some of the human touch we so desperately need (even if it comes with an undesired price tag the morning after).
I want so much to lay down my psychological garbage, to love and be loved...yet finding people or a person who is undamaged enough do the same is a tall order.
It was nothing earth-shattering that pushed me over the edge, it was normal life. I had two ongoing contentious discussions, one with dad and one with a friend. They weren't even overtly malicious...but my sensitivity to psycho-spiritual aggression has become so attuned, that each talk required an immense effort of will.
And i was reading a book. "The War Against Women", by Marilyn French. My tipping point came on the subway. I opened the book, and began a chapter on genital mutilation. After less than fifteen seconds, all i could do was lean forward and quietly gasp, head between my knees.
Even writing about it now brings back the pain. I don't know how long it will be before i can finish the book.
I'm no good to the world dead (although that would make a fun debate topic, on several levels). So i'll take a few steps back into that place of denial and self-absorption where we must live. I'll not forget the lessons i've learned. The path i walked is one that claims us all, in one way or another.
Look for me in the meadow. I'll be the one giggling or humping.
Maybe both.
Somebody loves you all.
Very soon, it might be me.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Next Generation, season 4
FOUR-STAR EPISODES: 3
AVERAGE EPISODE RATING: 2.9
-The Best of Both Worlds, pt. 2 ***
A compelling resolution that loses one star for being a bit too easy. The Federation/klingon fleet is decimated by the cube (but why no klingon wrecks?). Riker is given a field command, and appoints shelby as his first officer. As the cube approaches Earth, the Enterprise re-kidnaps picard/locutus, then uses him to send a command to the collective, initiating a sleep cycle. Cube destroyed, the implants are removed from picard...
-Family ****
-written by ronald d. moore
-directed by les landau
Picard returns to the family home, a vineyard estate in France, while dealing with post-assimilation traumatic disorder. Old arguments with his brother (charmingly played by jeremy kemp - TOP SECRET!, FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL) surface, ending in a muddy vineyard brawl...which ends in laughter, then tears. Seeing robert get under jean-luc's skin is poignant and startling. He also meets an idealistic young nephew for the first time. Will he leave Starfleet, to work under the sea? An already-good series plumbs new emotional depth, and sets up one of stewart's greatest acting moments in GENERATIONS. In the C plot, wesley views a holo-message made by his father jack crusher (the first of three appearances for doug wert - ROSWELL, EXCESSIVE FORCE II: FORCE ON FORCE), when he was born. The obsession with biological parentage is a bit 20th century, but it's touching. The B plot has worf's parents come aboard as the ship is repaired in orbit - it's two-star material, which makes this the most flawed four-star TREK ever. The richest performance by patrick stewart thus far, is simply undeniable. The only android-free NEXT GEN, no doubt to give brent time to prepare for...
-Brothers ***
Data mysteriously commandeers the ship, outwitting his shipmates effortlessly after he is subconsciously summoned by his creator noonien soong, who is not nearly so dead as advertised. The call also brings lore, whose reassembly was unknown to soong. He tells his children he is about to die. Lore fools soong with an identity swap, taking the emotion chip meant for data and leaving soong for dead. A superb three-character performance by brent spiner. As soong, he brilliantly avoids the vocal pitfalls of playing an ancient character. Wonderful.
-Suddenly Human ***
After rescuing an alien crew from a training mission wreck, one of them turns out to be a human youth who was presumed dead as a child. His adopted father soon appears, demanding the boy. Picard struggles with the moral question of where the boy belongs, and gets a knife in his chest for his troubles - this one may shake your faith in cultural relativism, as the telarians are brutal, xenophobic misogynists.
-Remember Me ***
A wesley warp field experiment creates a shrinking-universe effect to which only beverly is immune, or so it seems, as the size of the crew keeps shrinking but no one else notices. In reality, she's trapped in a warp field bubble to which her thoughts give texture. The traveler returns to guide wesley through his expanding awareness of time and space. The writing occasionally falters, but holds together.
-Legacy ***
Enterprise travels to tasha's home planet, where crashed Starfleet officers have been kidnapped. Tasha's sister (beth toussaint - DALLAS, THE RETURN OF HUNTER) is a helpful coalition member - or is she? Everyone falls for her story, because they want to believe...even data.
-Reunion ****
-written by thomas perry, jo perry, ronald d. moore, brannon braga
-directed by jonathan frakes
Searing. A franchise locked into the zone (the non-neutral kind). K'ehleyr returns on k'mpec's flagship, with a surprise for worf - a son. The chancellor is dying, and names picard the arbiter of succession. The candidates arrive: duras and gowron (hello robert o'reilly - THE MASK, DEEP SPACE NINE). K'mpec (thank you, charles cooper) dies after revealing that one of the candidates is in league with the romulans. An assassin's bomb goes off. Duras kills k'ehleyr. Worf kills duras. He sends the son, alexander, to be raised by his Earth parents. Deadbeat dad, or self-aware cat?
-Future Imperfect ***
A ripper. Will wakes up after an accident, having lost sixteen years of memory. He's Enterprise captain, with a motherless child (named jean-luc!). Peace negotiations with the romulans are coming to fruition, and admiral picard tells him that ambassador tomalak considers riker's participation indispensable. When the photos of "mom" are his holo-love minuet, will figures out it's all a romulan deception to gather intelligence...then he finally realizes that the deception is a deception too. Geordi without a visor is beautiful, and stewart is a perfectly dashing older admiral. Wonderful visuals, tight pacing, and a bouncy birthday scene that's the first and only broken-character shot to make it into an episode.
-Final Mission ***
Wesley's final episode as a regular, as he's off to the Academy. He and picard crash on a barren, blistering moon with an uncooperative, deceitful shuttle captain (nick tate - SPACE: 1999, HOOK) whose impulsiveness dooms him. Wes must keep a mortally wounded picard alive. Plus an hysterical (unintentional?) STAR BLAZERS nod, as they visit the Gamilon system. Gritty, tense, and poignant. Come back soon, wil wheaton.
-The Loss ***
Every so often, the show dips into pure sci fi. A two-dimensional life form unintentionally drags the ship toward destruction. Deanna loses her empathic abilities, and lashes out at everyone like a scared, petulant child. Will calls her out on her aristocratic attitude toward her humanity.
-Data's Day **
Data writes a journal to send to commander bruce maddox. The TREK debut of rosalind chao (AFTERM*A*S*H, DEEP SPACE NINE). Silliness abounds as she and o'brien get married...plus a vulcan ambassador who proves to be a romulan spy. We meet data's first cat, and beverly teaches him to dance (data, not the cat). The weakness of this one is in adhering to way too many 20th-century romantic cliches. Even assuming that marriage survives into the 24th century (a large assumption), the writing lacks deftness - for instance, data would generally say "mating" instead of marriage.
-The Wounded ***
A Starfleet captain (bob gunton - PATCH ADAMS, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION) goes maverick, and his vengeance may trigger a renewed war. Can you hear that spin-off train a-moanin'? Domestic doin's with the o'briens and the introduction of the cardassians, with marc alaimo as gul macet (marc would go on to 35 DS9s as gul dukat). The showdown between the two most decorated Starfleet captains deserved sharp, brilliant writing - and didn't get it. O'brien served with captain maxwell, and has a touching scene with him.
-Devil's Due ***
A peaceful planet is in chaos, as ancient prophesies about the return of the devil appear to be coming true. Picard smells a con artist, and puts his soul (and servitude) on the line to out her. Marta dubois (TALES OF THE GOLD MONKEY, MAGNUM P.I.) renders one of the most deliciously devious TREK turns ever. A charming teaser in which data plays ebeneezer scrooge on the holodeck.
-Clues ***
After passing through a wormhole, the crew suspects that they were inside far longer than the thirty seconds the clock shows. If data can't cover up all evidence of an encounter with a xenophobic alien race, the crew will be killed. Another silly slice of dixon hill...
-First Contact ***
Bebe!! Bebe!!! Riker is wounded while undercover on a planet on the brink of space travel. Picard initiates premature first contact, but the planet is still insular and heliocentric. A progressive leader (george coe - MAX HEADROOM, THE WEST WING) goes as far as he can, but must slow down the race to space. The space program's lead scientist (carolyn seymour - MR. MOM, CONGO) pleads to be allowed to stay on Enterprise...and is given permission. Quite touching. Ms. neuwirth (CHEERS, SAY ANYTHING...) is a doctor who engages in some inter-speciel intercourse with mr. riker. Unlike much TREK sex, which comes with averted eyes and sighs of i-must-resist-but-i-cannnnnn't, this is refreshingly bright-eyed. Bebe just wants to hump an alien, bless her. One of the most resonant touches of the episode is the parallel to how vulcans deemed FIRST CONTACT era humanity not yet ready for space.
-Galaxy's Child ***
Enterprise accidentally kills a space life form, and then must do a C-section to birth its unborn child...which imprints on the ship as its "mother", to dangerous effect. Geordi meets one of Enterprise's designers, a woman he previously turned into a problem-solving holoprogram (and proceeded to fall in love with). The real leah brahms feels violated...and is also married. Geordi's awkwardness is so real it dances on the border of creepy, which is an exceedingly fine line on which to have a lead character dance. Brilliantly written, maurice hurley.
-Night Terrors **
After a starship crew is found to have murdered one another, the Enterprise crew begins experiencing the same paranoid hallucinations, just as the ship become similarly trapped in a spatial anomaly. Dream deprivation is driving them slowly insane, and the only one who can dream is deanna, who has terrible nightmares which are in actuality a communication attempt by another trapped vessel. Picard puts data in command.
-Identity Crisis **
Geordi is infected with a long-dormant parasite that begins turning him into another species. He runs away to the planet where he was infected. There are lovely elements here, including a touching relationship with a former crewmate (maryann plunkett - THE SQUID AND THE WHALE, BLUE VALENTINE) also infected. It's hard to say exactly why it doesn't quite come together. A too-contrived solitary transformation for geordi? A too-easy resolve?
-The Nth Degree ***
After an accident with an alien probe, barclay's confidence swells and his intelligence expands exponentially, until he integrates his consciousness with the ship's computer and takes the ship instantly to the center of the galaxy, where super-beings are waiting to learn about them. The crew attempted to stop barclay's takeover of the ship, but are quite sympathetic when he is one of them again. It's all a lovely idea, but his ascension to super-being could have had a more human aspect, instead of being instantly aristocratic. And his romatic pass at deanna should have been more textured. Some lovely moments as barclay and crusher play characters in "Cyrano de Bergerac".
-Qpid ***
Vash shows up as a pseudo-member of an archaeological council, for which jean-luc is delivering a paper. The sparks still fly. Q interprets picard's feelings as weakness, and sends the gang to Sherwood Forest, as robin hood characters (with vash as marian). Nobody gets under picard's skin like these two - in the end, vash allows q to become her new intergalactic, time-traveling consort. An obvious (too-obvious?) nod to ANIMAL HOUSE, and a subtle nod to PRINCESS BRIDE...plus a rare moment of TREK sexism (trexism?) as the men fight with swords, and the women with flower pots.
-The Drumhead **
A retired admiral (jean simmons - SPARTACUS, GUYS AND DOLLS) holds onboard hearings to investigate sabotage and treason. When one guilty party is found, it becomes a witchhunt in which a crew member's career is ruined. The simplistic writing doesn't quite elevate to the premise, as it becomes about "good people vs. evil people". The one strong thread is in how worf's prejudices cause him to follow a misguided authority figure too far.
-Half a Life ***
David ogden stiers (THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST, STARGATE: ATLANTIS) is lovely as an alien scientist facing mandatory age-euthanization, who falls in love with lwaxana. She spurs him into defying his culture's conventions, but he's not quite strong (or selfish) enough to see it through. The writing delivers all the right questions, with sensitvity and depth. Stiers' performance raises the level of everyone around him...with majel finally approaching competence as an actor, he has enough to work with. Michelle forbes' TREK debut as his daughter is clumsy...with two other leading ladies, stiers' performance might easily belong on the short list of greatest TREK guest turns ever.
-The Host **
Crusher falls in love with an ambassador, unaware he is a conjoined being. After a shuttle is fired upon, the symbiont needs a temporary host...will riker, come on down! Beverly is torn, but finally has a night of passion with the former mr. riker. The first appearance of a trill is notable for how different they'll become on DS9 - less a combining of host and symbiont, and more a takeover. At the end, three hosts are one too many for beverly to process. There are strong elements here (including some surprisingly realistic kissing), but it's a bit overwritten. A bit forced. Perhaps they were trying to take in too much for one episode.
-The Mind's Eye ***
During a shuttle trip to Risa, geordi is kidnapped and taken aboard a romulan warbird to be subconsciously conditioned into being a sleeper agent. He returns to Enterprise with false memories and prepares to kill a klingon governor and start a war. In a romulan holo-simulation, he kills o'brien. Fine turns are rendered by john fleck (ENTERPRISE, TRUE BLOOD) as a romulan interrogator, and larry dobkin (PATTON, BEASTMASTER 2) as a klingon ambassador.
-In Theory ***
A lieutenant on the rebound from an emotionally distant man begins a romance with data. After a classic progression of advice-seeking from all his friends, he initiates a romance program. Guest star michele scarabelli (ALIEN NATION, AIRWOLF) shines. In patrick stewart's directorial debut, the flaws are nearly negated by fine writing and a superb spiner performance - but for comedy's sake, data's naivete and ignorance are overdone.
-Redemption ****
-written by ronald d. moore
-directed by cliff bole
The debut of lursa (barbara march - THE GAMBLER RETURNS, GENERATIONS) and b'etor (gwynyth walsh - THE CRUSH, NYPD BLUE), leaders of the treacherous house of duras, plus the first visible appearance of sela (or her half-romulan daughter), as denise crosby re-returns from the dead. Gowron ascends to chancellor, only to face an implacable uprising. Worf takes a leave of absence to restore family honor. He gets kurn to commit his squadrons to gowron. Civil war begins. A kidnapped picard faces a sexually ravenous klingon. Worf resigns his commission, to fight at gowron's side. It percolates, it pops...
AVERAGE EPISODE RATING: 2.9
-The Best of Both Worlds, pt. 2 ***
A compelling resolution that loses one star for being a bit too easy. The Federation/klingon fleet is decimated by the cube (but why no klingon wrecks?). Riker is given a field command, and appoints shelby as his first officer. As the cube approaches Earth, the Enterprise re-kidnaps picard/locutus, then uses him to send a command to the collective, initiating a sleep cycle. Cube destroyed, the implants are removed from picard...
-Family ****
-written by ronald d. moore
-directed by les landau
Picard returns to the family home, a vineyard estate in France, while dealing with post-assimilation traumatic disorder. Old arguments with his brother (charmingly played by jeremy kemp - TOP SECRET!, FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL) surface, ending in a muddy vineyard brawl...which ends in laughter, then tears. Seeing robert get under jean-luc's skin is poignant and startling. He also meets an idealistic young nephew for the first time. Will he leave Starfleet, to work under the sea? An already-good series plumbs new emotional depth, and sets up one of stewart's greatest acting moments in GENERATIONS. In the C plot, wesley views a holo-message made by his father jack crusher (the first of three appearances for doug wert - ROSWELL, EXCESSIVE FORCE II: FORCE ON FORCE), when he was born. The obsession with biological parentage is a bit 20th century, but it's touching. The B plot has worf's parents come aboard as the ship is repaired in orbit - it's two-star material, which makes this the most flawed four-star TREK ever. The richest performance by patrick stewart thus far, is simply undeniable. The only android-free NEXT GEN, no doubt to give brent time to prepare for...
-Brothers ***
Data mysteriously commandeers the ship, outwitting his shipmates effortlessly after he is subconsciously summoned by his creator noonien soong, who is not nearly so dead as advertised. The call also brings lore, whose reassembly was unknown to soong. He tells his children he is about to die. Lore fools soong with an identity swap, taking the emotion chip meant for data and leaving soong for dead. A superb three-character performance by brent spiner. As soong, he brilliantly avoids the vocal pitfalls of playing an ancient character. Wonderful.
-Suddenly Human ***
After rescuing an alien crew from a training mission wreck, one of them turns out to be a human youth who was presumed dead as a child. His adopted father soon appears, demanding the boy. Picard struggles with the moral question of where the boy belongs, and gets a knife in his chest for his troubles - this one may shake your faith in cultural relativism, as the telarians are brutal, xenophobic misogynists.
-Remember Me ***
A wesley warp field experiment creates a shrinking-universe effect to which only beverly is immune, or so it seems, as the size of the crew keeps shrinking but no one else notices. In reality, she's trapped in a warp field bubble to which her thoughts give texture. The traveler returns to guide wesley through his expanding awareness of time and space. The writing occasionally falters, but holds together.
-Legacy ***
Enterprise travels to tasha's home planet, where crashed Starfleet officers have been kidnapped. Tasha's sister (beth toussaint - DALLAS, THE RETURN OF HUNTER) is a helpful coalition member - or is she? Everyone falls for her story, because they want to believe...even data.
-Reunion ****
-written by thomas perry, jo perry, ronald d. moore, brannon braga
-directed by jonathan frakes
Searing. A franchise locked into the zone (the non-neutral kind). K'ehleyr returns on k'mpec's flagship, with a surprise for worf - a son. The chancellor is dying, and names picard the arbiter of succession. The candidates arrive: duras and gowron (hello robert o'reilly - THE MASK, DEEP SPACE NINE). K'mpec (thank you, charles cooper) dies after revealing that one of the candidates is in league with the romulans. An assassin's bomb goes off. Duras kills k'ehleyr. Worf kills duras. He sends the son, alexander, to be raised by his Earth parents. Deadbeat dad, or self-aware cat?
-Future Imperfect ***
A ripper. Will wakes up after an accident, having lost sixteen years of memory. He's Enterprise captain, with a motherless child (named jean-luc!). Peace negotiations with the romulans are coming to fruition, and admiral picard tells him that ambassador tomalak considers riker's participation indispensable. When the photos of "mom" are his holo-love minuet, will figures out it's all a romulan deception to gather intelligence...then he finally realizes that the deception is a deception too. Geordi without a visor is beautiful, and stewart is a perfectly dashing older admiral. Wonderful visuals, tight pacing, and a bouncy birthday scene that's the first and only broken-character shot to make it into an episode.
-Final Mission ***
Wesley's final episode as a regular, as he's off to the Academy. He and picard crash on a barren, blistering moon with an uncooperative, deceitful shuttle captain (nick tate - SPACE: 1999, HOOK) whose impulsiveness dooms him. Wes must keep a mortally wounded picard alive. Plus an hysterical (unintentional?) STAR BLAZERS nod, as they visit the Gamilon system. Gritty, tense, and poignant. Come back soon, wil wheaton.
-The Loss ***
Every so often, the show dips into pure sci fi. A two-dimensional life form unintentionally drags the ship toward destruction. Deanna loses her empathic abilities, and lashes out at everyone like a scared, petulant child. Will calls her out on her aristocratic attitude toward her humanity.
-Data's Day **
Data writes a journal to send to commander bruce maddox. The TREK debut of rosalind chao (AFTERM*A*S*H, DEEP SPACE NINE). Silliness abounds as she and o'brien get married...plus a vulcan ambassador who proves to be a romulan spy. We meet data's first cat, and beverly teaches him to dance (data, not the cat). The weakness of this one is in adhering to way too many 20th-century romantic cliches. Even assuming that marriage survives into the 24th century (a large assumption), the writing lacks deftness - for instance, data would generally say "mating" instead of marriage.
-The Wounded ***
A Starfleet captain (bob gunton - PATCH ADAMS, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION) goes maverick, and his vengeance may trigger a renewed war. Can you hear that spin-off train a-moanin'? Domestic doin's with the o'briens and the introduction of the cardassians, with marc alaimo as gul macet (marc would go on to 35 DS9s as gul dukat). The showdown between the two most decorated Starfleet captains deserved sharp, brilliant writing - and didn't get it. O'brien served with captain maxwell, and has a touching scene with him.
-Devil's Due ***
A peaceful planet is in chaos, as ancient prophesies about the return of the devil appear to be coming true. Picard smells a con artist, and puts his soul (and servitude) on the line to out her. Marta dubois (TALES OF THE GOLD MONKEY, MAGNUM P.I.) renders one of the most deliciously devious TREK turns ever. A charming teaser in which data plays ebeneezer scrooge on the holodeck.
-Clues ***
After passing through a wormhole, the crew suspects that they were inside far longer than the thirty seconds the clock shows. If data can't cover up all evidence of an encounter with a xenophobic alien race, the crew will be killed. Another silly slice of dixon hill...
-First Contact ***
Bebe!! Bebe!!! Riker is wounded while undercover on a planet on the brink of space travel. Picard initiates premature first contact, but the planet is still insular and heliocentric. A progressive leader (george coe - MAX HEADROOM, THE WEST WING) goes as far as he can, but must slow down the race to space. The space program's lead scientist (carolyn seymour - MR. MOM, CONGO) pleads to be allowed to stay on Enterprise...and is given permission. Quite touching. Ms. neuwirth (CHEERS, SAY ANYTHING...) is a doctor who engages in some inter-speciel intercourse with mr. riker. Unlike much TREK sex, which comes with averted eyes and sighs of i-must-resist-but-i-cannnnnn't, this is refreshingly bright-eyed. Bebe just wants to hump an alien, bless her. One of the most resonant touches of the episode is the parallel to how vulcans deemed FIRST CONTACT era humanity not yet ready for space.
-Galaxy's Child ***
Enterprise accidentally kills a space life form, and then must do a C-section to birth its unborn child...which imprints on the ship as its "mother", to dangerous effect. Geordi meets one of Enterprise's designers, a woman he previously turned into a problem-solving holoprogram (and proceeded to fall in love with). The real leah brahms feels violated...and is also married. Geordi's awkwardness is so real it dances on the border of creepy, which is an exceedingly fine line on which to have a lead character dance. Brilliantly written, maurice hurley.
-Night Terrors **
After a starship crew is found to have murdered one another, the Enterprise crew begins experiencing the same paranoid hallucinations, just as the ship become similarly trapped in a spatial anomaly. Dream deprivation is driving them slowly insane, and the only one who can dream is deanna, who has terrible nightmares which are in actuality a communication attempt by another trapped vessel. Picard puts data in command.
-Identity Crisis **
Geordi is infected with a long-dormant parasite that begins turning him into another species. He runs away to the planet where he was infected. There are lovely elements here, including a touching relationship with a former crewmate (maryann plunkett - THE SQUID AND THE WHALE, BLUE VALENTINE) also infected. It's hard to say exactly why it doesn't quite come together. A too-contrived solitary transformation for geordi? A too-easy resolve?
-The Nth Degree ***
After an accident with an alien probe, barclay's confidence swells and his intelligence expands exponentially, until he integrates his consciousness with the ship's computer and takes the ship instantly to the center of the galaxy, where super-beings are waiting to learn about them. The crew attempted to stop barclay's takeover of the ship, but are quite sympathetic when he is one of them again. It's all a lovely idea, but his ascension to super-being could have had a more human aspect, instead of being instantly aristocratic. And his romatic pass at deanna should have been more textured. Some lovely moments as barclay and crusher play characters in "Cyrano de Bergerac".
-Qpid ***
Vash shows up as a pseudo-member of an archaeological council, for which jean-luc is delivering a paper. The sparks still fly. Q interprets picard's feelings as weakness, and sends the gang to Sherwood Forest, as robin hood characters (with vash as marian). Nobody gets under picard's skin like these two - in the end, vash allows q to become her new intergalactic, time-traveling consort. An obvious (too-obvious?) nod to ANIMAL HOUSE, and a subtle nod to PRINCESS BRIDE...plus a rare moment of TREK sexism (trexism?) as the men fight with swords, and the women with flower pots.
-The Drumhead **
A retired admiral (jean simmons - SPARTACUS, GUYS AND DOLLS) holds onboard hearings to investigate sabotage and treason. When one guilty party is found, it becomes a witchhunt in which a crew member's career is ruined. The simplistic writing doesn't quite elevate to the premise, as it becomes about "good people vs. evil people". The one strong thread is in how worf's prejudices cause him to follow a misguided authority figure too far.
-Half a Life ***
David ogden stiers (THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST, STARGATE: ATLANTIS) is lovely as an alien scientist facing mandatory age-euthanization, who falls in love with lwaxana. She spurs him into defying his culture's conventions, but he's not quite strong (or selfish) enough to see it through. The writing delivers all the right questions, with sensitvity and depth. Stiers' performance raises the level of everyone around him...with majel finally approaching competence as an actor, he has enough to work with. Michelle forbes' TREK debut as his daughter is clumsy...with two other leading ladies, stiers' performance might easily belong on the short list of greatest TREK guest turns ever.
-The Host **
Crusher falls in love with an ambassador, unaware he is a conjoined being. After a shuttle is fired upon, the symbiont needs a temporary host...will riker, come on down! Beverly is torn, but finally has a night of passion with the former mr. riker. The first appearance of a trill is notable for how different they'll become on DS9 - less a combining of host and symbiont, and more a takeover. At the end, three hosts are one too many for beverly to process. There are strong elements here (including some surprisingly realistic kissing), but it's a bit overwritten. A bit forced. Perhaps they were trying to take in too much for one episode.
-The Mind's Eye ***
During a shuttle trip to Risa, geordi is kidnapped and taken aboard a romulan warbird to be subconsciously conditioned into being a sleeper agent. He returns to Enterprise with false memories and prepares to kill a klingon governor and start a war. In a romulan holo-simulation, he kills o'brien. Fine turns are rendered by john fleck (ENTERPRISE, TRUE BLOOD) as a romulan interrogator, and larry dobkin (PATTON, BEASTMASTER 2) as a klingon ambassador.
-In Theory ***
A lieutenant on the rebound from an emotionally distant man begins a romance with data. After a classic progression of advice-seeking from all his friends, he initiates a romance program. Guest star michele scarabelli (ALIEN NATION, AIRWOLF) shines. In patrick stewart's directorial debut, the flaws are nearly negated by fine writing and a superb spiner performance - but for comedy's sake, data's naivete and ignorance are overdone.
-Redemption ****
-written by ronald d. moore
-directed by cliff bole
The debut of lursa (barbara march - THE GAMBLER RETURNS, GENERATIONS) and b'etor (gwynyth walsh - THE CRUSH, NYPD BLUE), leaders of the treacherous house of duras, plus the first visible appearance of sela (or her half-romulan daughter), as denise crosby re-returns from the dead. Gowron ascends to chancellor, only to face an implacable uprising. Worf takes a leave of absence to restore family honor. He gets kurn to commit his squadrons to gowron. Civil war begins. A kidnapped picard faces a sexually ravenous klingon. Worf resigns his commission, to fight at gowron's side. It percolates, it pops...
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