I'm a fair person. There are 7 billion people in the world, and 7 billion breasts. Doesn't that mean i should have perpetual, unconditional access to one?
In 1931, Jackie Mitchell signed a contract with the Chatanooga Lookouts. In an exhibition game against the Yankees, she struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. Three days later, the Commissioner voided her contract and declared women "unfit to play".
When i grew up, i was a two-sneezer. At some point, i became a one-sneezer. How? Why??
It's folly to make life decisions based on hormonal responses. Falling in love? A hormonal response.
A self-aware idiot is preferable to a blind one, yet a self-aware idiot is often a hypocrite, and anything is preferable to a hypocrite.
Strangers want total honesty. People who know you usually want anything but.
Know how to spot a fake believer? They're sad when a loved one dies.
Employees of the Disney corporation are not allowed to wear mustaches. What was that little furry thing under Walt's nose?
One of the hardest lessons to learn is that sometimes there's no lesson to be learned.
The solution to 90% of the personal problems in this society? Three words: get over yourself.
Equus Africans Africans, the nubian wild ass, is now extinct. This is very sad, as i really really REALLY like saying "nubian wild ass".
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