minefields

If you met a lover
who was a garden
not a minefield
your head
would fall off
in utter
confusion

Credits Trek!

When i write film/TV reviews, i like to list a credit or two for actors i mention by name. I do this because i have genuine affection for them, and because it's fun. I often avoid the obvious credits - i choose based on hipness, genre, or the entertainment potential in the obscure. Who knew that so-and-so had a line in COCOON: THE REVENGE? It's not about snarking...i like actors, and they ply a cruel trade. Who am i to laugh because someone kept food on the table by playing a pizza gal in SAVED BY THE BELL - TRADE SCHOOL?
Well, okay, once in a blue moon a little snark never hurt anyone.
But never mean-spiritedly! And i never give a TV credit based on a single appearance. My benchmark is a minimum of three episodes as a recurring character.
In TV reviews however, i generally take the regulars for granted and only list credits for guest stars. I figure the regulars get enough attention. It's time though, to rectify that for the most copiously reviewed show on this site - STAR TREK! It's time to give the regulars from these five series their moment in the spotlight (or lowlight, or sidelight). For fun's sake, i'll go a little more obscure than normal, and suspend that three-episode minimum. Let the smiles, surprises, or salutes roll. If there's a little snarkery herein, it's hopefully the kind in which a little voice at the back of your mind says, "Okay...yeah, i kinda gotta see that."
STAR TREK
george takei* (TWILIGHT ZONE, MIAMI VICE)
william shatner (HOWDY DOODY, MORK & MINDY)
leonard nimoy (GET SMART, BANGLES GREATEST HITS)
nichelle nichols (PEYTON PLACE, TARZAN)
walter koenig (GIDGET, I SPY)
deforest kelley (GUNFIGHT AT THE O.K. CORRAL, THE DONNA REED SHOW)
james doohan** (BEWITCHED, MACGYVER)
THE NEXT GENERATION***
wil wheaton (THE LAST STARFIGHTER, FAMILY TIES)
patrick stewart (WILD GEESE II, BAMBI II)
brent spiner (HILL STREET BLUES, MAMA'S FAMILY)
marina sirtis (BLIND DATE, DEATH WISH 3)
diana muldaur (MOD SQUAD, KUNG FU)
gates mcfadden (THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN, THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER)
jonathan frakes (CHARLIE'S ANGELS, THE DUKES OF HAZZARD+)
michael dorn (ROCKY, PUNKY BREWSTER)
denise crosby (TRAIL OF THE PINK PANTHER, 48 HRS.)
levar burton (LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR, FANTASY ISLAND)
DEEP SPACE NINE
nana visitor (KNIGHT RIDER, DOOGIE HOWSER M.D.)
alexander siddig (KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, SYRIANA)
armin shimerman (WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW!, COP ROCK)
colm meaney (MOONLIGHTING, THE GAMBLER III)
cirroc lofton (BEETHOVEN, MOESHA)
terry farrell (THE COSBY SHOW, BACK TO SCHOOL)
nicole de boer (TEKWAR++, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S SENIOR TRIP)
avery brooks (A MAN CALLED HAWK, AMERICAN HISTORY X)
rene auberjonois (KING KONG, WONDER WOMAN)
VOYAGER
garrett wang (FLESH SUITCASE, THE AUTEUR THEORY)
tim russ (SPACEBALLS, 21 JUMP STREET)
jeri ryan (WHO'S THE BOSS?, BOSTON LEGAL+++)
robert picardo (SILVER SPOONS, AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON)
ethan philips (LEAN ON ME, JEFFREY)
kate mulgrew (REMO WILLIAMS: THE ADVENTURE BEGINS, CHEERS)
robert duncan mcneill (MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, QUANTUM LEAP)
jennifer lien (THE LION KING 2, AMERICAN HISTORY X)
roxann dawson (A CHORUS LINE, BAYWATCH)
robert beltran (EATING RAOUL, BUGSY)
ENTERPRISE
connor trineer (TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL, TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES)
linda park (JURASSIC PARK III, CRASH)
anthony montgomery^ (I'M THROUGH WITH WHITE GIRLS, FRASIER)
dominic keating (JUNGLE 2 JUNGLE, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER)
jolene blalock (STARGATE SG-1, STARSHIP TROOPERS 3)
john billingsley (THE WEST WING, CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LOS ANGELES)
scott bakula (MAJOR LEAGUE: BACK TO THE MINORS, AMERICAN BEAUTY)

* also appeared in the 1975 series KHAN!
** also played chief o'brien in the 1992 film DOUBLE TROUBLE
*** five cast members had roles on GARGOYLES (six if you count colm meaney, plus three TREK actors from other series)
+ boss hogg's son
++ yes, shatner
+++ yes, shatner
^ please don't tell me he was in ANTHONY AND CLEOPATRA?

whoosh

Maybe just maybe
If you dedicate your life to truth and humility
One day you'll be ready
to love someone
(no, i mean for real)

You'll offer your tender gift
Whoosh
They're gone

But maybe just maybe
They'll remember
And maybe one day
they'll understand
And maybe
just maybe
One day they'll be ready
to love too

They'll offer their gift
to someone

Whoosh

It's crap
But it's crap
humanity
can
build on

big gals

In the U.S. of A.
you'd best love the big gals!
Restricted to thinnies
you'll find few pals

Soft skin, mondo melons
That's worth some toil
She wants a massage?
Bring a whole tub of oil!

Heaven's still hiding
Between those thunder thighs
Your cock may seem small
But that's relative size!

Occupy her mouth
with more than mere food
She might shed some pounds
(not to be rude)

Well-sexed is happy
And happy is healthy
And healthy is thin
(my thinking be stealthy)

this week 1 (addendum)

Six months ago, i regaled you with reflections on a week in which (1) a teenager made a pass at me, (2) i got my first white hair, and (3) found out i had possibly contracted a social disease (unrelated to #1):
http://nakedmeadow.blogspot.com/2013/09/this-week.html
I must follow up, as it turns out that at least two of those things are untrue.
No, the teenager wasn't an undercover twentysomething cop...or WAS she? I wouldn't know, for to my discredit, i gave her none of the satisfaction she was seeking. That's no joke - the fact that our society provides no outlet for the natural sexual curiosity of youth, is certainly one of the top three causes of the myriad social ills we face.
No, rather, i do NOT have HPV - my little back blemishes are seborrheic keratoses, a benign, non-viral, non-communicable growth common to the non-young.
Except i DO have HPV! That is, inasmuch as i had one or two warts on my hand when i was young, which means that the virus (a non-genital strain) is still inside me, in its non-active state. Statistically, you have it too. Can one get multiple strains? Sure! I now know oooodles of stuff about HPV, which as much as 90% of everyone will get.
And, i do NOT have a white hair! Not any longer, anyway. No, that doesn't mean what it would mean coming from any other vain, ageist fool - i didn't pluck or dye.
It's just gone.
The white color, that is, not the hair itself. The hair just seems to have (poof) returned to its former hue.
Talk about embarrassing - i made a big deal out of my ascension to tribal elder! The keratosis is evidence that i've not started to age in reverse...
But then again, i have a pimple too! Wheeeee!
No, i'm sure this is just one of those curiosities of the human body. I'm sure it's happened to several of you, too?
Hmm...
Do ass pimples count as youthful?

meaning

If you need someone to hold you down
while de-tox you go through
What does it mean?
It means i love you

If you need some deep dicking
Just for an hour or two
What does it mean?
It means i love you

If you need me attached to your hip
or to disappear from view
What does it mean?
It means i love you

If nothing makes sense
and you need a raft to cling to
What does it mean?
It means i love you

better

How can i climb in our bed
with the words we spoke today
There's a better way
A better way

Day after day
lovers go "astray"
There's a better way
A better way

You watch YOU disappear
a little bit each day
There's a better way
A better way

Is love contingent on what comes back the other way?
(that ain't love, it's pay)
There's a better way
A better way