My first and perhaps last attempt to contribute to the wonderful world of Wikepedia has crashed and burned, perhaps because the site is run by politically correct fascists? During the Revolutionary War, the british (in a move that was admittedly probably more pragmatic than idealistic) promised freedom to any colonial slaves who ran away and fought against their former masters. There are no records of how many slaves took up arms, but it might have been a very large number. Knowing this, i edited "freed slaves" into the appropriate "Belligerents" column on the war's main page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolutionary_War. It was removed almost immediately. This is particularly curious because elsewhere on the site, they freely admit that slaves joined the british ranks, in higher (probably ridiculously higher) numbers than those who agreed to fight for their oppressors:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_Americans_in_the_Revolutionary_War. Have i been blacklisted (HA...get it? "Blacklisted"? Hysterical!) from Wikeworld, accused of adding erroneous data? I hate to think that, not least of all for the fact that i would have added something wild and patently false, had i known my fate. Is it too late to edit into the Wikeverse the fact that the british fought pantless, in the hopes of confusing their foes? Or that Abraham Lincoln had an invisible childhood friend named Rastus Pookie Tigerbones? Or that there's a branch of the KKK in Alabama who eschew white in favor of Star Wars sheets? Sigh.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Stargate SG1, season 5
FOUR STAR
-Wormhole X-Treme!
This may be a bit of charity, as most of the episode is just high three-star. But the last few minutes, courtesy of actor Michael DeLuise (SEAQUEST), is uproarious delight. Martin (Willie Garson, SEX AND THE CITY) is back, with his memory wiped (again!). With one of his species' ships approaching Earth, SG1 investigates. Lots of cloak and dagger stuff surrounding Martin, who is now a Hollywood producer of an action series based on his unconscious memories of the stargate program. We spend much time on that set, where SG1 lampoons itself (and its leads, and Hollywood in general) very satisfyingly. Director Peter (Michael's brother and Dom's son) plays his "Wormhole" counterpart beautifully.
NOTEWORTHY
-Enemies ***
A worthy conclusion to the season 4 finale. SG1 and their ship have been flung across the galaxy, chased by Apophis, the only other survivor of the supernova. They hide in an asteroid field when a powerful alien attacks Apophis. Replicators find their way onto both ships. Teal'c has been resurrected and brainwashed into thinking he is still Apophis' loyal Prime. The replicators build super speed into the engines, to reach the resources in our corner of the galaxy. Can the ship be sabotaged, yet in such a way that all the stars of the show live? Hmmm...
-Threshold ***
The first all-out back story in SG1 history, and it's a good'n. Bra'tac removes Teal'c's symbiote, believing that a near-death experience is all that can free his protege's brainwashed mind. As his friends pour the truth into his half-conscious mind, Teal'c relives his youthful ascension to First Prime. If you feel the writers have never really tapped into Teal'c's potential, you're right.
-Ascension **
A home-made stargate in the basement is fun, but...this one's a head-scratcher. You'll swear the writer had no previous experience with STARGATE (though you'll be wrong). Saved from one star by the game performance of Sean Patrick Flanery (YOUNG INDIANA JONES), and the SG1 debut of John de Lancie (STAR TREK).
-Beast of Burden ***
An earnest, uncorrupted tale of the enslavement of a population of unases. Their human masters were their former slaves. SG1 tries to rescue the unas Daniel befriended, but things get ugly. Larry Drake (L.A. LAW) deftly plays the town's master. This is as good as SG1 writing gets, but in the middle of it, there's a moment that points up the barrier of excellence the show still can't crack. Anderson and Shanks have a face to face, and for a moment, you can feel the actors almost bursting into a higher, more authentic human reality. Then the moment's gone.
-The Tomb **
SG1 teams with a russian unit to investigate the disappearance of a russian team. They become trapped in a ziggurat with a goa'uld inside the body of a wolverine/octopus-type carnivore. One star lost for cliched treatment of russians, but otherwise very nice (plus a helping of Jen Halley, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-2001 ***
A surprisingly righteous follow-up to "2010". The aschen initiate contact with Earth through an unexpected source, and it's up to the SGC to discover whether they are the same race Jack's bloody note from the future warned of. Whatever you do, actors, don't play a love interest for a character the writers have earmarked for Mr. Dean Anderson. They might as well just hand you that red shirt.
-Proving Ground ***
A quartet of cadets go through SG1 wargames scenarios, overseen by Jack, in the actual SGC. For a while it all feels kind of obvious, but the fake-outs you know are coming are layered and satisfying. Plus a happy helping of Grace Park (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA), with baby fat cheeks.
-48 Hours ***
Unique in the show's history, for juggling three plot lines which all stay airborne. Teal'c gets trapped in the event horizon, requiring Daniel to go get Russia's DHD. Jack runs around with Maybourne, trying to gather ill-gotten NID intelligence. Sam tries to figure out how to get Teal'c back, with the help of Area 51's top stargate expert, the delightfully arrogant Rodney McKay (David Hewlett), who will be spun off into STARGATE: ATLANTIS.
-Summit ***
Feels like what the pitter patter of the first 100 episodes has been building to. Daniel is sent on an undercover mission to a meeting of the seven system lords, with a toxin that will destroy them all. He changes the plan when he learns of the re-emergence of the ancient goa'uld Anubis. Great visuals, and the debut of Cliff Simon as Ba'al. Michael Shanks is now offcially up to the task of carrying a second-rate sci fi episode. That's not as left-handed a compliment as it sounds.
-Fail Safe ***
SG1 does ARMAGEDDON. But once again, they sidestep predictability.
-The Warrior ***
Jaffa leader K'tano (Rick Worthy) has arisen, and gathered an army of freedom. He prepares a bold strike, with suicidal abandon. Teal'c and Bra'tac join him, and SG1 brings arms and supplies...but Jack loses faith. Some plot holes, but a powerhouse performance by Rick, a sci fi stalwart with recurring roles in GALACTICA and ENTERPRISE.
-Menace ***
SG1 discovers an advanced android in the remains of a dead civilization. They bring her to the SGC, and reactivate her. She's childlike and evasive. She makes a replicator for Daniel as a present, and they realize that her abilities killed her people and birthed a galaxy-wide menace. A lovely performance by guest star Danielle Nicolet. Kind of nice to see ol' General Baldy Hammond camo'd up and laying down some whoopass, for a change.
-The Sentinel ***
SG1 tries to repair a planetary defense weapon damaged by the "fake" SG1. The people it protects have regressed technologically, and have no idea how to fix it. Their leader is Mural (Henry Gibson, LAUGH-IN, in a strikingly nuanced, delicate performance).
-Meridian ***
The death/ascension of Daniel Jackson. I am neither thrilled (as i thought i would be based upon his early mediocrity) nor sad, as the attempt to make this an emotional farewell feels forced, by SG1's lack of character depth and the old sci fi "non-death" death. The only thing that moved me was the realization that Teryl Rothery has the sexiest philtrum in the galaxy.
-Wormhole X-Treme!
This may be a bit of charity, as most of the episode is just high three-star. But the last few minutes, courtesy of actor Michael DeLuise (SEAQUEST), is uproarious delight. Martin (Willie Garson, SEX AND THE CITY) is back, with his memory wiped (again!). With one of his species' ships approaching Earth, SG1 investigates. Lots of cloak and dagger stuff surrounding Martin, who is now a Hollywood producer of an action series based on his unconscious memories of the stargate program. We spend much time on that set, where SG1 lampoons itself (and its leads, and Hollywood in general) very satisfyingly. Director Peter (Michael's brother and Dom's son) plays his "Wormhole" counterpart beautifully.
NOTEWORTHY
-Enemies ***
A worthy conclusion to the season 4 finale. SG1 and their ship have been flung across the galaxy, chased by Apophis, the only other survivor of the supernova. They hide in an asteroid field when a powerful alien attacks Apophis. Replicators find their way onto both ships. Teal'c has been resurrected and brainwashed into thinking he is still Apophis' loyal Prime. The replicators build super speed into the engines, to reach the resources in our corner of the galaxy. Can the ship be sabotaged, yet in such a way that all the stars of the show live? Hmmm...
-Threshold ***
The first all-out back story in SG1 history, and it's a good'n. Bra'tac removes Teal'c's symbiote, believing that a near-death experience is all that can free his protege's brainwashed mind. As his friends pour the truth into his half-conscious mind, Teal'c relives his youthful ascension to First Prime. If you feel the writers have never really tapped into Teal'c's potential, you're right.
-Ascension **
A home-made stargate in the basement is fun, but...this one's a head-scratcher. You'll swear the writer had no previous experience with STARGATE (though you'll be wrong). Saved from one star by the game performance of Sean Patrick Flanery (YOUNG INDIANA JONES), and the SG1 debut of John de Lancie (STAR TREK).
-Beast of Burden ***
An earnest, uncorrupted tale of the enslavement of a population of unases. Their human masters were their former slaves. SG1 tries to rescue the unas Daniel befriended, but things get ugly. Larry Drake (L.A. LAW) deftly plays the town's master. This is as good as SG1 writing gets, but in the middle of it, there's a moment that points up the barrier of excellence the show still can't crack. Anderson and Shanks have a face to face, and for a moment, you can feel the actors almost bursting into a higher, more authentic human reality. Then the moment's gone.
-The Tomb **
SG1 teams with a russian unit to investigate the disappearance of a russian team. They become trapped in a ziggurat with a goa'uld inside the body of a wolverine/octopus-type carnivore. One star lost for cliched treatment of russians, but otherwise very nice (plus a helping of Jen Halley, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-2001 ***
A surprisingly righteous follow-up to "2010". The aschen initiate contact with Earth through an unexpected source, and it's up to the SGC to discover whether they are the same race Jack's bloody note from the future warned of. Whatever you do, actors, don't play a love interest for a character the writers have earmarked for Mr. Dean Anderson. They might as well just hand you that red shirt.
-Proving Ground ***
A quartet of cadets go through SG1 wargames scenarios, overseen by Jack, in the actual SGC. For a while it all feels kind of obvious, but the fake-outs you know are coming are layered and satisfying. Plus a happy helping of Grace Park (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA), with baby fat cheeks.
-48 Hours ***
Unique in the show's history, for juggling three plot lines which all stay airborne. Teal'c gets trapped in the event horizon, requiring Daniel to go get Russia's DHD. Jack runs around with Maybourne, trying to gather ill-gotten NID intelligence. Sam tries to figure out how to get Teal'c back, with the help of Area 51's top stargate expert, the delightfully arrogant Rodney McKay (David Hewlett), who will be spun off into STARGATE: ATLANTIS.
-Summit ***
Feels like what the pitter patter of the first 100 episodes has been building to. Daniel is sent on an undercover mission to a meeting of the seven system lords, with a toxin that will destroy them all. He changes the plan when he learns of the re-emergence of the ancient goa'uld Anubis. Great visuals, and the debut of Cliff Simon as Ba'al. Michael Shanks is now offcially up to the task of carrying a second-rate sci fi episode. That's not as left-handed a compliment as it sounds.
-Fail Safe ***
SG1 does ARMAGEDDON. But once again, they sidestep predictability.
-The Warrior ***
Jaffa leader K'tano (Rick Worthy) has arisen, and gathered an army of freedom. He prepares a bold strike, with suicidal abandon. Teal'c and Bra'tac join him, and SG1 brings arms and supplies...but Jack loses faith. Some plot holes, but a powerhouse performance by Rick, a sci fi stalwart with recurring roles in GALACTICA and ENTERPRISE.
-Menace ***
SG1 discovers an advanced android in the remains of a dead civilization. They bring her to the SGC, and reactivate her. She's childlike and evasive. She makes a replicator for Daniel as a present, and they realize that her abilities killed her people and birthed a galaxy-wide menace. A lovely performance by guest star Danielle Nicolet. Kind of nice to see ol' General Baldy Hammond camo'd up and laying down some whoopass, for a change.
-The Sentinel ***
SG1 tries to repair a planetary defense weapon damaged by the "fake" SG1. The people it protects have regressed technologically, and have no idea how to fix it. Their leader is Mural (Henry Gibson, LAUGH-IN, in a strikingly nuanced, delicate performance).
-Meridian ***
The death/ascension of Daniel Jackson. I am neither thrilled (as i thought i would be based upon his early mediocrity) nor sad, as the attempt to make this an emotional farewell feels forced, by SG1's lack of character depth and the old sci fi "non-death" death. The only thing that moved me was the realization that Teryl Rothery has the sexiest philtrum in the galaxy.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
statutory life
There is a fourth statue of me in the world!
I'm an officer now, after all.
Or more precisely, there are now eight (four originals, four copies).
The newest, created this year in Brooklyn and headed for the Maritime Museum in Washington, D.C. continues my burgeoning military career. I started out as a West Point cadet, just before the first world war. It took me around sixty years to find myself promoted to lieutenant, aboard a destroyer. I blame the slowness of my rise on the unconventional choice of switching branches of the service. At this rate, i'll make general (er, admiral) just in time to annoy a certain Picard with my know-it-all ways and comic relief flatulence.
This newest one, made at Atta Studios (http://www.attainc.com/frames/portfolio_frame.html ...how many seconds does it take you to find me??), was created with a combination of techniques. The molds for the body and arms were done with good, old-fashioned plaster (as the statue is clothed [yawn], precision there wasn't crucial). The head and hands were done in goopy, rubbery, hardening alginate.
If you've never had your body reproduced, here's the drill. You shave any body hair that won't tuck under a swim cap (you'll pay for any lack of meticulousness). You slather yourself head to toe in vaseline. Or maybe you'll skip the cap, and vaseline your hair, too. If it feels like you have enough on you, you don't.
Your artists get dipping and slapping plaster. It's nice and warm at first (if your artists have done their part with thoughtfulness and care). It hardens within ten minutes, and that's when the fun begins. As they pull on whatever part of the plaster they can grab, you expand and contract your muscles and skin, pulling away from the plaster molecule by molecule. There are sections of the body where this is fairly pain-free.
Then there are the other sections.
Anywhere you missed hair, anywhere you didn't have about a centimeter of vaseline, it might hurt. The sweaty, light-headed kind of hurt that feels like the initial stages of a drug trip. This is the part where the once-warm plaster is cold and unyielding...unless you have extra layers of fat on you, you'll be all too aware you're the only naked one in the room. You'll ask for your robe to be draped on the naked parts as they emerge, and hope that the studio's space heater is working, so it can be pointed right at you from the closest distance that won't actually peel your epidermis. As understanding as the artists will be, there will be moments when their speed will be one gear above yours (when you're trying to extract your lost body, hoping it comes back like it was before, one gear is the difference between oxcart and Studebaker). At any point during this process, they may or may not actually put their feet on your thighs or chest, to get more leverage.
Nope, not making that up.
Finally you're free.
The artists inspect the insides of the molds, mostly to see where you didn't shave so well.
On to the head and hands. Alginate technology has come a long way. When i did an all-body alginate job five years ago, you had to stay inside the mold for almost an hour and a half, during which time 78% of the subjects pass out. These days, it's about five minutes. They leave your nostrils uncovered, hope you're not claustrophobic, then shhhloop, shloop, pop, you're out.
The artists are done with you. Off to the showers. Parts of your skin feel like the steel-wool dance troupe has been practicing pirouettes on you. You're cold and squishy, but faintly giddy breathing the sweet air of freedom. You place yourself under a shower that may or may not have hot water. If it is hot, you're so grateful for any warmth at all, you'll want to stay under there forever.
Which is good, because forever is approximately how long it takes to wash off vaseline. You eventually give up, and towel off. You'll shower again when you get home (but it'll be another day or two before you recognize your skin).
A couple months later, there's a new you in the world! And to think, women just put a penis in their vagina to get the same magical effect...them ladies, always taking the easy way. No pain tolerance.
So if you're in the old District of C., stop on in and see me. Kissing, mooning, and saluting are all encouraged. No leg humping, though.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
breath are you taking the fields of your gold?
"What are you Doing the Rest of Your Life?"
by bergman/bergman/legrand
What are you doing the rest of your life?
North and south and east and west of your life?
I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me.
All the seasons and the times of your days.
All the nickels and the dimes of your days.
Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days.
All begin and end with me.
I want to see your face,
In every kind of light,
In fields of gold and
Forests of the night;
And when you stand before
The candles on a cake.
Oh let me be the one to hear
The silent wish you make.
Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes
In the world of love you keep in your eyes,
Ill awaken what's asleep in your eyes,
It may take a kiss or two..
Through all of my life..
Summer, winter, spring and fall of my life,
All I ever will recall of my life
Is all of my life with you.
The most appallingly dysfunctional look at sex and romance in the history of pop music? If you're not queasy after the eighth line, it's long past due for you to take a critical look at the attitudes about love and sex that were instilled in you as a child. Doing so may begin to untangle the misery you've been living for however many decades you've been drawing breath on this ol' rock. What's even more upsetting, sting himself covered this song (which even, odin help us, won a grammy). This song is like the AM gold B-side to "Every Breath You Take", but without that song's saving grace, its intentional perversity (never mind how many millions missed said perversity). The sting connection is furthered when you look at the lyrics and wonder whether Mr. sumner plucked one of his own song titles from this (ahem) gem.
by bergman/bergman/legrand
What are you doing the rest of your life?
North and south and east and west of your life?
I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me.
All the seasons and the times of your days.
All the nickels and the dimes of your days.
Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days.
All begin and end with me.
I want to see your face,
In every kind of light,
In fields of gold and
Forests of the night;
And when you stand before
The candles on a cake.
Oh let me be the one to hear
The silent wish you make.
Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes
In the world of love you keep in your eyes,
Ill awaken what's asleep in your eyes,
It may take a kiss or two..
Through all of my life..
Summer, winter, spring and fall of my life,
All I ever will recall of my life
Is all of my life with you.
The most appallingly dysfunctional look at sex and romance in the history of pop music? If you're not queasy after the eighth line, it's long past due for you to take a critical look at the attitudes about love and sex that were instilled in you as a child. Doing so may begin to untangle the misery you've been living for however many decades you've been drawing breath on this ol' rock. What's even more upsetting, sting himself covered this song (which even, odin help us, won a grammy). This song is like the AM gold B-side to "Every Breath You Take", but without that song's saving grace, its intentional perversity (never mind how many millions missed said perversity). The sting connection is furthered when you look at the lyrics and wonder whether Mr. sumner plucked one of his own song titles from this (ahem) gem.
Stargate SG1, season 4
It's starting to feel like there was some kind of revolt midway through season 3, where the actors threatened to strike unless the writing stopped sucking. I expected the run of goodness at the end of season 3 to be a fluke, but...the quality level in 4 stays at that level somewhat relentlessly. The reason seems to be largely attributable to one person - Peter DeLuise. This season marks the start of his run as the show's creative consultant (in addition to directing 56 episodes and writing 18).
FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-The Other Side ***
A tight, dangerous trip that focuses on the give and take of morality vs. self-interest. SG1 meets a technologically superior people who are willing to offer all their advances in exchange for the heavy water needed to end a war. In a surprisingly effective performance, Jackson is the lone voice of moral objection (Shanks has turned his personal corner, giving solid performances regularly now). Perhaps a touch obvious at the end...if these people didn't turn out to be so "evil", Earth's moral dilemma would have cut deeper. Well-lifted by Rene Auberjonois (M*A*S*H, BENSON, DS9) as the alien leader.
-Upgrades ***
Fun. The tok'ra supply SG1 with alien armbands that increase their abilities exponentially. Vanessa Angel (SPIES LIKE US, KINGPIN) is the tok'ra you can't decide whether to trust. The armbands make the team act irrationally, as they go rogue to try to destroy a new goa'uld supership. Teal'c saves the day.
-Crossroads ***
Now, Mr. DeLuise, don't give directors who are willing to dial up the sexy a bad name by simultaneously dialing down the intelligence. We suspect you're better than that; we certainly loved you on SEAQUEST. This one's actually very good until a confrontation between Teal'c and a goa'uld infiltrator comes off childishly, as they both indulge in "menacing" acting when their characters would never be so obvious. A former goa'uld high priestess (Musetta Vander, OH BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?) convinces everyone she has learned how to communicate with her infant symbiote, and taught it to hate goa'uld oppression. She and Teal'c fall in love. Musetta and Vanessa are spilling sexy all over the place. That's a good thing, but...to suddenly have Vanessa dressing like a Robert Palmer video girl, when every other tok'ra dresses like a jedi...as much as we appreciate the intent, it just shows a lack of imagination. Perhaps some more creative way could be found to employ her sexiness...some more, what's that word, "organic" context? Perhaps involving a gymnasium, or a waterfall? Or a gymnasium under a waterfall? I'm just spitballing here.
-Divide and Conquer ***
A well thought-out, well-crafted entry. Sam and Jack fail a lie detector test designed to sniff out goa'uld agents. Have they been programmed to kill the President? Can they be stopped from committing suicide if they're thwarted? Ultimately, they realize that they failed the test because they were suppressing feelings for each other. A major step in SG1 character development...but is anyone (including these two) really feeling the chemistry? Goodbye to Vanessa Angel...which is sad, because we love the way she kissed O'Neill and presented an alien (and of course, healthier) approach to sexuality. Also the bloody death of JR Bourne's Martouf, who had lent a likable, strong presence to the tok'ra.
-Window of Opportunity ***
The SGC find themselves in a six-hour time loop, centered on an SG1 mission. Jack and Teal'c are the only ones who remember the previous loops, and must learn latin to operate the machinery that will free them. After a couple months, they start to go loopy (haha...loopy, get it?) and engage in some sophomoric pursuits. This is the first time SG1 has ventured into what can only be called mild self-parody. The purist in me is suspicious...but i can't deny my smiles. This is the second time it's occurred to me to pair an SG1 episode with a TREK ("Cause and Effect", TNG). I'm not quite there, but i'm one step closer.
-Watergate ***
Actually a clever title, and nothing to do with corruption. SGC discovers that their original stargate was recovered by the russians. They were able to get it going, but a disaster brings a call to the americans. SG1 finds a siberian compound where everyone is dead, and the gate locked open into an undersea world. Sam, Daniel, and the sole living russian (Marina Sirtis, STAR TREK TNG) take a sub into the waterworld. Jack and Teal'c must deal with a retrieved water sample, which it turns out is alive and capable of inhabiting people. High marks for unpredictability. Marina is the closest we've come to TREK royalty on SG1...she acquits herself, and sci fi, well.
-The First Ones ***
Why haven't we had more episodes (or any) that put Daniel in a life or death situation where he needs to understand an unfamiliar language? On the goa'uld homeworld, Daniel is captured by an adolescent unas. The planet's waters are teeming with larval goa'uld, which present quite a hazard to the rescue team.
-Scorched Earth ***
Another SG1 that feels like legitimate sci fi. A refugee population has been relocated to a friendly planet. An alien ship appears in orbit, burning away all life below. SG1 discovers that the ship is terraforming the planet, to seed the DNA of a peaceful, extinct race. There isn't time to relocate the entire population. A hologram is created to speak on behalf of the ship, which can find no way around the dilemma, as the ship doesn't have the resources to start its mission elsewhere. Jack disobeys orders, to attempt to destroy the ship. Jackson goes against Jack's wishes, staying onboard to seek another solution. Look for a nice lil' slice of Alessandro Juliani (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Beneath the Surface ***
Yet ANOTHER episode that cries out to be paired with a TREK ("Workforce", VOYAGER). Of course, such viewings might only serve to remind one how derivative post-TREK sci fi can be...but then, whoops, "Workforce" aired five months AFTER this one. So there, it's TREK that rips off other sci fi! Of course, with only five months difference, the similarity was probably just fluky coincidence...indeed, given the circumstances, can it be entirely coincidence that one of the characters in "Workforce" is named Jaffen? SG1 find themselves working as alien industrial slave labor, with no memory of their former lives, except for Tuvok...i mean, Teal'c...and they struggle to overcome memory-manipulation. The writers missed a great chance for more humor, in the lines where the team get their real life memories wrong (or half-right). But overall, well done.
-Point of No Return ***
Willie Garson (SEX AND THE CITY) plays an erratic individual who contacts the government with information about the stargate. Who is he? Is someone drugging him? Silly fun...and look for Matthew Bennett (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Tangent ***
Stargate meets Apollo 13. Teal'c and Jack are adrift in space in an experimental flyer adapted from goa'uld gliders. It's overdue that an episode point up how helpless humans are space-wise, using technology way over their heads. Conventional rescue is impossible, and only one tok'ra ship can save them, but it's out of reach and undercover. Recurring character Major Davis (Colin Cunningham, BEST IN SHOW) is in no way flashy, but doesn't fall prey to any SG1 acting/writing flaws. Anderson's character has never been fully realized, but for one moment he nails a line that is worthy of the best Kurt Russell or MACGUYVER, with his delivery of "We could do better".
-The Curse ***
Will you STOP IT with this unending run of good episodes? You've accustomed me to a certain level of crap, SG1, and you're failing to deliver. This makes about twenty in a row. A treat for Egyptologists who may have loved the movie, but been disappointed by the series. Daniel learns that the archaeology professor who trained him has suddenly died. He returns for the funeral, and picks up the abandoned research thread with the help (and antipathy) of two formerly close research assistants. This episode touches on how achingly hard it must sometimes be for the stargate crew to never tell anyone in the outside world about what they do. An idea that needs to be explored further...
-Exodus ***
A righteous season finale. It rises above that "TV" feel, just a lil'. SGC and the tok'ra hatch a plan to use Kronos' stolen mother ship to ignite a star, destroying Apophis' fleet.
FOUR STAR - none
NOTEWORTHY
-The Other Side ***
A tight, dangerous trip that focuses on the give and take of morality vs. self-interest. SG1 meets a technologically superior people who are willing to offer all their advances in exchange for the heavy water needed to end a war. In a surprisingly effective performance, Jackson is the lone voice of moral objection (Shanks has turned his personal corner, giving solid performances regularly now). Perhaps a touch obvious at the end...if these people didn't turn out to be so "evil", Earth's moral dilemma would have cut deeper. Well-lifted by Rene Auberjonois (M*A*S*H, BENSON, DS9) as the alien leader.
-Upgrades ***
Fun. The tok'ra supply SG1 with alien armbands that increase their abilities exponentially. Vanessa Angel (SPIES LIKE US, KINGPIN) is the tok'ra you can't decide whether to trust. The armbands make the team act irrationally, as they go rogue to try to destroy a new goa'uld supership. Teal'c saves the day.
-Crossroads ***
Now, Mr. DeLuise, don't give directors who are willing to dial up the sexy a bad name by simultaneously dialing down the intelligence. We suspect you're better than that; we certainly loved you on SEAQUEST. This one's actually very good until a confrontation between Teal'c and a goa'uld infiltrator comes off childishly, as they both indulge in "menacing" acting when their characters would never be so obvious. A former goa'uld high priestess (Musetta Vander, OH BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?) convinces everyone she has learned how to communicate with her infant symbiote, and taught it to hate goa'uld oppression. She and Teal'c fall in love. Musetta and Vanessa are spilling sexy all over the place. That's a good thing, but...to suddenly have Vanessa dressing like a Robert Palmer video girl, when every other tok'ra dresses like a jedi...as much as we appreciate the intent, it just shows a lack of imagination. Perhaps some more creative way could be found to employ her sexiness...some more, what's that word, "organic" context? Perhaps involving a gymnasium, or a waterfall? Or a gymnasium under a waterfall? I'm just spitballing here.
-Divide and Conquer ***
A well thought-out, well-crafted entry. Sam and Jack fail a lie detector test designed to sniff out goa'uld agents. Have they been programmed to kill the President? Can they be stopped from committing suicide if they're thwarted? Ultimately, they realize that they failed the test because they were suppressing feelings for each other. A major step in SG1 character development...but is anyone (including these two) really feeling the chemistry? Goodbye to Vanessa Angel...which is sad, because we love the way she kissed O'Neill and presented an alien (and of course, healthier) approach to sexuality. Also the bloody death of JR Bourne's Martouf, who had lent a likable, strong presence to the tok'ra.
-Window of Opportunity ***
The SGC find themselves in a six-hour time loop, centered on an SG1 mission. Jack and Teal'c are the only ones who remember the previous loops, and must learn latin to operate the machinery that will free them. After a couple months, they start to go loopy (haha...loopy, get it?) and engage in some sophomoric pursuits. This is the first time SG1 has ventured into what can only be called mild self-parody. The purist in me is suspicious...but i can't deny my smiles. This is the second time it's occurred to me to pair an SG1 episode with a TREK ("Cause and Effect", TNG). I'm not quite there, but i'm one step closer.
-Watergate ***
Actually a clever title, and nothing to do with corruption. SGC discovers that their original stargate was recovered by the russians. They were able to get it going, but a disaster brings a call to the americans. SG1 finds a siberian compound where everyone is dead, and the gate locked open into an undersea world. Sam, Daniel, and the sole living russian (Marina Sirtis, STAR TREK TNG) take a sub into the waterworld. Jack and Teal'c must deal with a retrieved water sample, which it turns out is alive and capable of inhabiting people. High marks for unpredictability. Marina is the closest we've come to TREK royalty on SG1...she acquits herself, and sci fi, well.
-The First Ones ***
Why haven't we had more episodes (or any) that put Daniel in a life or death situation where he needs to understand an unfamiliar language? On the goa'uld homeworld, Daniel is captured by an adolescent unas. The planet's waters are teeming with larval goa'uld, which present quite a hazard to the rescue team.
-Scorched Earth ***
Another SG1 that feels like legitimate sci fi. A refugee population has been relocated to a friendly planet. An alien ship appears in orbit, burning away all life below. SG1 discovers that the ship is terraforming the planet, to seed the DNA of a peaceful, extinct race. There isn't time to relocate the entire population. A hologram is created to speak on behalf of the ship, which can find no way around the dilemma, as the ship doesn't have the resources to start its mission elsewhere. Jack disobeys orders, to attempt to destroy the ship. Jackson goes against Jack's wishes, staying onboard to seek another solution. Look for a nice lil' slice of Alessandro Juliani (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Beneath the Surface ***
Yet ANOTHER episode that cries out to be paired with a TREK ("Workforce", VOYAGER). Of course, such viewings might only serve to remind one how derivative post-TREK sci fi can be...but then, whoops, "Workforce" aired five months AFTER this one. So there, it's TREK that rips off other sci fi! Of course, with only five months difference, the similarity was probably just fluky coincidence...indeed, given the circumstances, can it be entirely coincidence that one of the characters in "Workforce" is named Jaffen? SG1 find themselves working as alien industrial slave labor, with no memory of their former lives, except for Tuvok...i mean, Teal'c...and they struggle to overcome memory-manipulation. The writers missed a great chance for more humor, in the lines where the team get their real life memories wrong (or half-right). But overall, well done.
-Point of No Return ***
Willie Garson (SEX AND THE CITY) plays an erratic individual who contacts the government with information about the stargate. Who is he? Is someone drugging him? Silly fun...and look for Matthew Bennett (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA).
-Tangent ***
Stargate meets Apollo 13. Teal'c and Jack are adrift in space in an experimental flyer adapted from goa'uld gliders. It's overdue that an episode point up how helpless humans are space-wise, using technology way over their heads. Conventional rescue is impossible, and only one tok'ra ship can save them, but it's out of reach and undercover. Recurring character Major Davis (Colin Cunningham, BEST IN SHOW) is in no way flashy, but doesn't fall prey to any SG1 acting/writing flaws. Anderson's character has never been fully realized, but for one moment he nails a line that is worthy of the best Kurt Russell or MACGUYVER, with his delivery of "We could do better".
-The Curse ***
Will you STOP IT with this unending run of good episodes? You've accustomed me to a certain level of crap, SG1, and you're failing to deliver. This makes about twenty in a row. A treat for Egyptologists who may have loved the movie, but been disappointed by the series. Daniel learns that the archaeology professor who trained him has suddenly died. He returns for the funeral, and picks up the abandoned research thread with the help (and antipathy) of two formerly close research assistants. This episode touches on how achingly hard it must sometimes be for the stargate crew to never tell anyone in the outside world about what they do. An idea that needs to be explored further...
-Exodus ***
A righteous season finale. It rises above that "TV" feel, just a lil'. SGC and the tok'ra hatch a plan to use Kronos' stolen mother ship to ignite a star, destroying Apophis' fleet.
Monday, July 23, 2012
james' bad brain??
A newspaper story about the james holmes massacre in Denver mentioned that james took a class in aberrational psychology and the criminally insane. A psychiatrist was quoted, talking about how he may have been intentionally studying himself.
Well isn't that handy, you would-be expert, ignorant jackass.
When are we going to start treating these shootings not as some sort of aberration, but as an inescapable product of the society in which we live? We go around trying to pacify the frightened idiots among us with reassurances that james has a "bad brain". Be glad you're not like james, with his bad brain.
May i vomit now?
Our relatively small country spends as much as the OTHER 195 COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD COMBINED on weapons of mass murder, and in training human beings to do exactly what James did. The better they are at this, the bigger the medal we pin on their chest. And idiot liberals everywhere are encouraged to think how peachy keen it is, how heart-warmingly progressive, that we now allow women and homosexuals to openly join the front lines of our trained killers.
May i vomit now?
Nobody in this country is more idolized than movie stars. How many of our most celebrated movie stars HAVEN'T appeared on some thirty-foot movie poster with a phallic, shiny, instrument of instant, bloody death in their hands? How many of these comfortable millionaires, well aware of their incalculable status as role models, have said, "No, i don't want to be a part of a film that sells itself by slapping my face on a poster holding a gun and making it look DAMN SEXY"? I'm not talking about idiots whose careers exist only because of the crap shoot-em-up genre they've risen to the top of. I'm talking about people like depp, angelina, the scientology twins, and denzel, who all damn well ought to know better.
May i...never mind.
James is 24. Let's focus on, say, the last ten years of his life. How many of those three thousand six-hundred and fifty days and nights did james fall asleep wishing he had someone to hold? I'll go out on a limb and say it's a pretty fucking enormous number. Yet where was the newspaper article ten days ago, before he strolled into a movie house with a weapon capable of extinguishing sixty lives in sixty seconds, where was the newspaper article alerting everyone to the fact that james had spent the overwhelming majority of the past 3,650 nights all alone? Where was the outcry, the outrage, the shock? In another world, a world of sanity, a world that probably only exists in those dwindling pockets of humanity left on this Earth in a pre-agricultural state, those people, had they learned of james' previous ten years, would have looked at each other and said, "This guy is going to fucking kill someone, and it's going to be ENTIRELY OUR FAULT. How the hell was this allowed to happen?"
But no, it must be that james had a bad brain.
Of course, that's it.
Aren't you glad nobody YOU know has a bad brain?
Aren't you glad?
Is it time for vomiting now?
P.S. If there were anything to this "bad brain" theory, wouldn't there be just as many female mass murderers? If you're tempted to retort that if my socialization theory were correct there WOULD be female mass murderers, because aren't we all products of the same society, i answer that boys and girls are still raised in radically different ways (just as whites are raised differently than non-whites, which is why most mass murderers are male and white...but that's a whole 'nother story).
Well isn't that handy, you would-be expert, ignorant jackass.
When are we going to start treating these shootings not as some sort of aberration, but as an inescapable product of the society in which we live? We go around trying to pacify the frightened idiots among us with reassurances that james has a "bad brain". Be glad you're not like james, with his bad brain.
May i vomit now?
Our relatively small country spends as much as the OTHER 195 COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD COMBINED on weapons of mass murder, and in training human beings to do exactly what James did. The better they are at this, the bigger the medal we pin on their chest. And idiot liberals everywhere are encouraged to think how peachy keen it is, how heart-warmingly progressive, that we now allow women and homosexuals to openly join the front lines of our trained killers.
May i vomit now?
Nobody in this country is more idolized than movie stars. How many of our most celebrated movie stars HAVEN'T appeared on some thirty-foot movie poster with a phallic, shiny, instrument of instant, bloody death in their hands? How many of these comfortable millionaires, well aware of their incalculable status as role models, have said, "No, i don't want to be a part of a film that sells itself by slapping my face on a poster holding a gun and making it look DAMN SEXY"? I'm not talking about idiots whose careers exist only because of the crap shoot-em-up genre they've risen to the top of. I'm talking about people like depp, angelina, the scientology twins, and denzel, who all damn well ought to know better.
May i...never mind.
James is 24. Let's focus on, say, the last ten years of his life. How many of those three thousand six-hundred and fifty days and nights did james fall asleep wishing he had someone to hold? I'll go out on a limb and say it's a pretty fucking enormous number. Yet where was the newspaper article ten days ago, before he strolled into a movie house with a weapon capable of extinguishing sixty lives in sixty seconds, where was the newspaper article alerting everyone to the fact that james had spent the overwhelming majority of the past 3,650 nights all alone? Where was the outcry, the outrage, the shock? In another world, a world of sanity, a world that probably only exists in those dwindling pockets of humanity left on this Earth in a pre-agricultural state, those people, had they learned of james' previous ten years, would have looked at each other and said, "This guy is going to fucking kill someone, and it's going to be ENTIRELY OUR FAULT. How the hell was this allowed to happen?"
But no, it must be that james had a bad brain.
Of course, that's it.
Aren't you glad nobody YOU know has a bad brain?
Aren't you glad?
Is it time for vomiting now?
P.S. If there were anything to this "bad brain" theory, wouldn't there be just as many female mass murderers? If you're tempted to retort that if my socialization theory were correct there WOULD be female mass murderers, because aren't we all products of the same society, i answer that boys and girls are still raised in radically different ways (just as whites are raised differently than non-whites, which is why most mass murderers are male and white...but that's a whole 'nother story).
Sunday, July 22, 2012
jessica
WOMEN 67
A delightful, poetic, free-spirited, healthily sexual young soul. We met in a jazz club in Brooklyn. I had come with another woman meeting a larger group of friends, most of whom knew the musicians. There was a growing romantic connection with that woman, but she never returned my calls after that night, most likely because she didn’t like the energy between Jessica and i. I wouldn’t say we were quite flirting, but Jessica had come all by herself and i was genuinely attentive...and that’s the way these things go. We met in the Village a couple weeks later, and spent a day reading our poetry to each other in a park, then wandering through the tail end of the gay pride parade. I intensely wanted to hold her, and told her so. She smiled, and made no comment. Next month, we spent an evening at my home. She danced in the kitchen while i made dinner. She had long brown wavy hair, a lazy smile, and oh-so-full mammary glands. She was in her early twenties, and of her bisexuality she said that female companionship made her quite fulfilled, but that she would never give up men, as she liked cock too much. After eating, we sat on the couch and watched an artistic erotic Japanese film which we were alternately interested and disinterested in. She suddenly pulled one of my fingers into her mouth. I responded with nuzzles and affection. We spent the night in my bed together, in various states of undress and sexual embrace. I held back from full coitus, as i wasn’t sure about taking a lover who professed disinterest in monogamy. At no point did i think we had a profound compatibility, but…there were times over the next few months when i thought i might love her more uninhibitedly, given another chance. But she'd met a boy from Boston whom she was becoming serious about. Jessica was a part of a four-day sequence in my life that was, well, unprecedented. Understand, i’d generally been as far from a “womanizer” as one can get, at least in the easily quantifiable ways. I’d almost never been romantically involved with more than one woman at the same time, and between lovers there had been gaps sometimes measured in years. But living in New York kind of made the previous eight years in Florida seem a romantic wasteland, at least that first year or three. Perhaps it was that New York women responded more to thoughtful, artistic types. Perhaps it was that there are 500,000 more single women than men. Perhaps it was just dumb coincidence, or something else or all of the above...but my night with Jessica was part of a four-night sequence in which i slept with three different women. One was spent in platonic cuddling with Jocasta, an actress friend. The third night was spent with, um, Vanessa, i think. Or Elisabeth. No, Vanessa. I liked New York.
A delightful, poetic, free-spirited, healthily sexual young soul. We met in a jazz club in Brooklyn. I had come with another woman meeting a larger group of friends, most of whom knew the musicians. There was a growing romantic connection with that woman, but she never returned my calls after that night, most likely because she didn’t like the energy between Jessica and i. I wouldn’t say we were quite flirting, but Jessica had come all by herself and i was genuinely attentive...and that’s the way these things go. We met in the Village a couple weeks later, and spent a day reading our poetry to each other in a park, then wandering through the tail end of the gay pride parade. I intensely wanted to hold her, and told her so. She smiled, and made no comment. Next month, we spent an evening at my home. She danced in the kitchen while i made dinner. She had long brown wavy hair, a lazy smile, and oh-so-full mammary glands. She was in her early twenties, and of her bisexuality she said that female companionship made her quite fulfilled, but that she would never give up men, as she liked cock too much. After eating, we sat on the couch and watched an artistic erotic Japanese film which we were alternately interested and disinterested in. She suddenly pulled one of my fingers into her mouth. I responded with nuzzles and affection. We spent the night in my bed together, in various states of undress and sexual embrace. I held back from full coitus, as i wasn’t sure about taking a lover who professed disinterest in monogamy. At no point did i think we had a profound compatibility, but…there were times over the next few months when i thought i might love her more uninhibitedly, given another chance. But she'd met a boy from Boston whom she was becoming serious about. Jessica was a part of a four-day sequence in my life that was, well, unprecedented. Understand, i’d generally been as far from a “womanizer” as one can get, at least in the easily quantifiable ways. I’d almost never been romantically involved with more than one woman at the same time, and between lovers there had been gaps sometimes measured in years. But living in New York kind of made the previous eight years in Florida seem a romantic wasteland, at least that first year or three. Perhaps it was that New York women responded more to thoughtful, artistic types. Perhaps it was that there are 500,000 more single women than men. Perhaps it was just dumb coincidence, or something else or all of the above...but my night with Jessica was part of a four-night sequence in which i slept with three different women. One was spent in platonic cuddling with Jocasta, an actress friend. The third night was spent with, um, Vanessa, i think. Or Elisabeth. No, Vanessa. I liked New York.
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