brilliant weirdness

I can't claim any creative credit for this...it was filmed during downtime at a different music video shoot, and i only did what i was told, having little clue what the context was.

I still have little clue, but i like it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrM7Ow42HMY

lonely sea

How old will you be
when your best lover at last you see?
A tender nineteen?
A luminous sixty-three?

Maybe your thirties?
Feeling entitled and free?
Perhaps your fifties?
Ever so wise and witty?

How about your forties?
Drowning in a sea of lonely?
Perhaps your twenties?
Responding hormonally?

How will you react?
Will you be grateful and carefree?
Or might you try to mold them
into your personal mythology?

Will you impose your notions
of how they should think and be?
Will you declare your narrative
and expect them to agree?

Will you just let BE
whatever grows organically?
Or will you emulate everyone
forever flailing selfishly?

sex-starved

Why are you talking to me?
You're not someone i want to fuck
I DON'T SEE YOU

What?
You're intelligent, solicitous?
Provocative, non-duplicitous?
I told you
You're not someone i want to fuck
I DON'T SEE YOU

I'm sorry, i'm sure you're swell
but minus fuckability
y'all can go to hell

Am i truly this raw?
Am i really this crass?
I don't know, turn around
Show me a little ass

You're too religious? Too young?
Too pregnant? Too spoken for?
My dick doesn't think so
A cock is knocking at your door

But wait, come see
a sweet and platonic spree
I'm not so shallow
as i used to be!

I'm caring less and less
about fitness, age, and beauty
As a grownup humyn
i feel it is my duty

I'm caring less and less
about smarts and savoir faire
All wimyn need love
and i haven't done my share

Yes indeedy
just look at my maturity
Don't tell me desperation
is getting the best of me!

YOU i see, YOU i don't!
screams what's left
of my wasted brain
For deprivation
Deprivation
Deprivation done driven me
driven me
driven me
driven me
insane

Musings on a First-time Group Chat with Mostly Strangers

Bizarre...no reason for being here other than humyn connection?

The one person i know, i've never met in real life...

Mildly surprising that this isn't more painful

(given my mild depression's anti-social tendencies)

(and my propensity to think that anytime i'm not eating, fucking, or writing

i'm wasting my precious moment on this besotted space rock)

How do i talk without making myself the center of attention?

Hey now...the talk turns to sex

What could be more unsurprising...yet welcome?

Ooops, did i just say something flirtatious??

All my inner censors (that's censors with a "C") are going haywire!

Growing up MALE in this culture has taught me it's NEVER okay to flirt

For assuredly someone somehow, regardless of intent

will find my flirtation invasive or assaultive

Hey, bring back that naked artwork of semi-stranger #3!

I'm going to need some proof that boobie is YOU, blue

(down, you undersexed fool, down)

Just sing another song, make 'em laugh...

laughingest

She lost my number, she says
Are there accidents, say i?
Perhaps we're all just puppets
steered by subconscious eye

How to transcend our dysfunctional games?
We're too broken, neurotic, and needy
Can we possibly be the we i see?
Fearless, unconditional, non-greedy

Perhaps in this existential haze
we're forever buggered and blind
Perhaps i'm just flinging fantasies
against the prison of my mind...

Still i dream of stroking her back
until this life comes to an end
Her lastingest lover, her laughingest listener
and goddamn goofiest friend

fingers

There are five kinds of people in this world
What color is YOUR banner unfurled?
There are thumbs, who only want to squash
Making messes they do not clean or wash
There are pointers, the dreamers who live life unbought
Follow them or not, either path is fraught
Mocking middlers, anti-disestablishmentarian contrarians
Some look like clowns, some like librarians
And the fours, who disappear before your face
More and more each day in this inhumyn race
There are pinkies, fooles who want the world to laugh
They see the cup quarter-full, not half

But i'm just whipping this out of my behind
Don't hang it in the hall, don't build a steeple
For if humyns were the six-fingered kind
i would tell you there are SIX kinds of people!

ally

Fighting white patriarchy since a youth

Systemic biases unholy and uncouth

"Him/her" straightjackets i've striven to undo

(been railing about that since 1992)

It's nice to have company, that's a boon i've prized

But please don't call me "ally", it's a bummer being marginalized