year

You look into her glistening eyes
Knowing that neither you
nor anyone
can give her
what she wants

But you haven't been laid
in a year
And you've spent a lifetime
being
noble

not-ends 24

More people die from falling coconut than shark attack. Why is there no movie "Coconut - the Revenge"?

Friends know the person we want to be. Family know the person we are.

definition - MARRIAGE (n.): A no-win proposition.

If you find yourself congenitally incapable of heeding the preceding, i add the following. It's better to like your spouse, than love them (this probably won't save a marriage, but it might diminish the collateral damage).

1% of americans understand that we have no moral superiority by which we can condemn the Holocaust. The other 99%? "I'm ready for my swastika armband, Mr. DeMille!"

The single most revealing question you can ask a male? If your penis could be erect for as long as you want, whenever you want, but you would never have an orgasm again, would you do it?

The first rung on the spiritual ladder is the awareness that how you treat all life is as important as how you treat those connected to your own self-interest. This is much more than simply "be kind to strangers". This is the acknowledgement that hypothetical, invisible beings do not deserve greater love or loyalty than beings we know exist. To place a god above human or wildebeest, is another manifestation of the corruption called "classism". Despite the fact that it always serves the few at the expense of the many, we are ingrained to think that classism is natural, so we project it onto all our institutions. Superiority and subjectification - classist ideas go as far back as noted moron Plato, with his hierarchy of gold people, bronze people, iron people, etc. I promise, there never has been, nor ever could be, a god so insecure that it needed more reverence than any other manifestation of life.

Why is it okay to say to a woman "Oh, if only you had a sister", but wrong to say "Wow, your sister's attractive"?

In any fundamentally dysfunctional society, the path of wisdom, health, and balance comes with a silent companion - loneliness. Yet health requires abundant intimacy and social contact. I believe the word for that is "catch-22"?

If it weren't for being mindfucked, some people would never get fucked at all.

Can someone design a T-shirt or poster for me with jesus and general custer hugging and mugging for the camera, like frat boys?

Hotel

STAGE/SCREEN 77
-fall 2006
The lot of the big city actor trying to get work involves so many semi-acting jobs and almost-acting jobs. I didn’t take as many of these as others might - my motivations were already something far less needy than fame & fortune. For me these jobs were to experience first-hand the “dues” of an actor’s life, keep food in my belly, and have fun. I worked the streets with a bunch of model/actors dressed as fisherpeople, passing out free newspapers. I did a solo gig at a private party in a tarzan suit (i.e. homosexual eye candy), passing out hors d'oeuvres. I worked a holiday office party as an Elvis impersonator...no full numbers, just being a fun presence. How committed an actor am i? I did a couple of those overhead, from-the-bottle alcohol shots (even though i hadn't had a full drink in a decade or two). My concerns about becoming impaired quickly faded, as i realized that the office bigwigs (or caterers) had arranged for the "alcohol" to be heavily watered. I was a cleaver-wielding mad scientist for an MTV2 Halloween movie marathon commercial. I was among a group of fifty “skinny santas” for some fancy store (Brookstone?) in Rockefeller Center, promoting some asinine massage belt product. I did a slew of mascot gigs (Sponge Bob, baby monkey, Spiderman). I was a wrestling patsy in semi-nude female-domination videos (BEST...JOB...EVER). I was “Adam” for a muffin company at a Javitz Center food show, freezing my ass off with Eve (they gave us each a tiny space heater, meaning that there was one 6”x6” section of our bodies kept warm). I was a buzz-cut, sunglass-bedecked astronaut at a business expo for a start-up company from one of the losers of THE APPRENTICE. I’m probably forgetting a couple (including one where the co-worker i bonded with most was a very sweet ex-WNBA player). Each of these gigs was silly, wonderful fun in some way (okay, maybe not the newspaper one so much). And then there were the “real” jobs, some of which are less-remembered because they go by quickly (and perhaps the producers fail to mail out a copy of the film). One such was HOTEL, a short film about the bizarre goings-on in the life of a struggling hotel manager. I played a cat burglar who took advantage of the distractions, to raid the suites. We filmed over several days in Queens. I honestly can’t remember whether i had any lines, but there was plenty of screen time. We had home scenes, eating with my dour parents and lifting weights alone in my room. There were shots in corridors, stairwells, and a garage. It was a delight, then it was done. Actors are generally so friendly and extroverted, there's often the sense that if there had been just one more day of shooting, the person you bonded with most might have become a real friend. And maybe sometimes they might have...but the fact that it rarely happens has to mean something. Perhaps it's the charm of serial novelty, and a bizarre sense of comfort in becoming instantly intimate with people you'll likely never see again. That might be colored by the competitiveness that plagues the theater world (which fosters buried feelings of mistrust and ill will among fellow performers), but there's something deeper, something about the oft-subconscious anti-social tendencies inherent in any society as self-centered and cold as the one we all call home. I'd like to think i'm less drawn to that than others, but it's likely that no one's entirely immune.

do/be do/be be

In a hundred years...
It will not matter that you were a good worker
Or good friend
Or good lover
Or good teacher
Or good parent

In fact, it doesn't matter much right now

In a barbaric society, doing is irrelevant
But being
is not

Perpetuate kindness
Perpetuate sharing

These
will
matter

fear

There is an ecstasy
men will never
know

When a woman
bids us love her

And she speaks
with
100% JOY

And 0%
that
other thing

pop question

No matter how magic it feels
No matter how intoxicating
No matter how much they feel DIFFERENT
At the start of every great affair
(sooner rather than later)
Ask each other what you'll be
when the magic
is
gone
Great friends?
Sometime friends?
Friendly?
Less?
It ain't romantic
(just the only ticket out of this mess)

irene's vision

On this date, Irene Capp of planet Earth had a vision that the missing plane is in a hangar in Malaysia. She wanted me to tell you.