WOMEN 40
After college, i spent a couple of years working with the mentally retarded. Linda was a case supervisor in the complex where i worked as a vocational instructor. Friendliness turned into dating, which mostly consisted of visits with her and her 4 year-old Brian. He and i got along great, and when he fell asleep, Linda and i would kiss and cuddle. One night she started kissing my stomach, and then my pants were undone and she had my head in her mouth for a moment. I put the brakes on, uncertain about what it meant. The next evening she took me to a play in Philadelphia. Later that night we were on her bed, and she asked whether i wanted to make love. I suddenly knew, long before Cuba admonished Jerry, i had to get out of this woman's life. For a long time after, i held the stupid desire to be with her once more, to give her oral pleasure, in the name of balance or something. Stupid, stupid…
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
being earnestly important
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST
THEATER 25
-fall 1989
I returned to WCU for my almost-senior year (i was on the 4.5-year plan, which was actually speedy compared to some). Sandi's show was up, and to the surprise of no one, i got cast. Oscar Wilde at his witty best. I had rather fancied one of the male leads, which i didn't get, but at this point i had such faith in Sandi that she could have cast me as a tiffany lamp, and i would have jumped in feet-first. There was a moment between Greg Longenhagen and Lou and i that fall. Greg was one year ahead of us, and we found ourselves chatting in the hall. He looked around, lowered his voice, and smilingly said, "It looks like it's pretty much the three of us, doesn't it?" Meaning that at that point, we were the cream of the department. It was a sweet moment, because i admired Greg. Anyway, Jeff Bleam and a newcomer named Walt were the leads. Kathy Herd and a nice, talented newcomer played the female leads. Lady Bracknell was played by my ON TIDY ENDINGS buddy Bree. Jeff was his overly-witty self, calling her Bree-cheese once too often. Miss Prim was played by Jennie Armstrong, and i played opposite her as the Reverend Chasuble. Jennie had been around the department a couple of years, and this was her first role. I had spent a lot of time with her my sophomore year, letting her unload her life on me (romance, an abusive past). She was the first person who ever told me i had a lot of female energy. It took me a long time to understand that she was complimenting me. She was blonde with fair skin, and a Mansfieldesque figure. I had fallen for her that sophomore year, and offered her my love. But i had also sensed that she needed time away from romance, and my invitation was so gentle that my senior year she needed to be reminded that i had even opened that door...indeed, during EARNEST she chastened me for not doing so back then. She had taken a year off from school, and now we were cast together as the proper Canon and the strict chaperone, who were bursting with repressed desire for each other. This was the second time i wondered whether Sandi was using casting to try to give my love life a boost. Or perhaps she just sensed the connection between Jennie and i. My clerical costume i borrowed from Dr. Platt, an Episcopalian Minister in the Philosophy department and one of my favorite people. There were many newcomers in the cast, and i got on real well with them, moreso than most other department veterans, who could be standoffish. Overall it was a good show, but it didn't reach the level of other Sandi productions. Well done in some ways, but the cast unity and overall talent were less than ideal. I was almost sad that Lou hadn't auditioned; he might have made it a better play. Jennie and i enjoyed our time together very much. At one point Bree had to leave the run because of a family death. Sandi donned the Lady Bracknell costume that night, and went on, book in hand. Getting to act with Sandi became one of the best memories of my most loved teacher ever. For the last two shows, Lady Bracknell was played by a faculty member named Bob Green. He took a particular liking to me, and working with him was a fun adventure too.
THEATER 25
-fall 1989
I returned to WCU for my almost-senior year (i was on the 4.5-year plan, which was actually speedy compared to some). Sandi's show was up, and to the surprise of no one, i got cast. Oscar Wilde at his witty best. I had rather fancied one of the male leads, which i didn't get, but at this point i had such faith in Sandi that she could have cast me as a tiffany lamp, and i would have jumped in feet-first. There was a moment between Greg Longenhagen and Lou and i that fall. Greg was one year ahead of us, and we found ourselves chatting in the hall. He looked around, lowered his voice, and smilingly said, "It looks like it's pretty much the three of us, doesn't it?" Meaning that at that point, we were the cream of the department. It was a sweet moment, because i admired Greg. Anyway, Jeff Bleam and a newcomer named Walt were the leads. Kathy Herd and a nice, talented newcomer played the female leads. Lady Bracknell was played by my ON TIDY ENDINGS buddy Bree. Jeff was his overly-witty self, calling her Bree-cheese once too often. Miss Prim was played by Jennie Armstrong, and i played opposite her as the Reverend Chasuble. Jennie had been around the department a couple of years, and this was her first role. I had spent a lot of time with her my sophomore year, letting her unload her life on me (romance, an abusive past). She was the first person who ever told me i had a lot of female energy. It took me a long time to understand that she was complimenting me. She was blonde with fair skin, and a Mansfieldesque figure. I had fallen for her that sophomore year, and offered her my love. But i had also sensed that she needed time away from romance, and my invitation was so gentle that my senior year she needed to be reminded that i had even opened that door...indeed, during EARNEST she chastened me for not doing so back then. She had taken a year off from school, and now we were cast together as the proper Canon and the strict chaperone, who were bursting with repressed desire for each other. This was the second time i wondered whether Sandi was using casting to try to give my love life a boost. Or perhaps she just sensed the connection between Jennie and i. My clerical costume i borrowed from Dr. Platt, an Episcopalian Minister in the Philosophy department and one of my favorite people. There were many newcomers in the cast, and i got on real well with them, moreso than most other department veterans, who could be standoffish. Overall it was a good show, but it didn't reach the level of other Sandi productions. Well done in some ways, but the cast unity and overall talent were less than ideal. I was almost sad that Lou hadn't auditioned; he might have made it a better play. Jennie and i enjoyed our time together very much. At one point Bree had to leave the run because of a family death. Sandi donned the Lady Bracknell costume that night, and went on, book in hand. Getting to act with Sandi became one of the best memories of my most loved teacher ever. For the last two shows, Lady Bracknell was played by a faculty member named Bob Green. He took a particular liking to me, and working with him was a fun adventure too.
Monday, November 2, 2009
a couple of odds
THE ODD COUPLE
THEATER 24
-summer 1989
My high school buddy Ken Hartman had completed a couple years of college, and came to me about putting on a show in our old church Fellowship Hall. He wanted me to be Felix in THE ODD COUPLE. I said "Oh yes". Ken nabbed ex-Youth Clubber Chuck Bunting for Oscar. He had presence and comedic energy out the wazoo. Ex-Youth Clubber Heidi Stohler played one Pigeon sister, and Cindy Saupe the other. I don't know where Ken found Cindy, but she was very open and talented. Senior Youth Clubber Mark Turner played Murray. He was mature and funny, just great to be around. Ben Plavin played Speed, Geoff Leonard was Vinnie, Brian Toleno was Roy, and they were all great. Ben had been hesitant to accept me, but after i demonstrated talent in improv games, he warmed up. Ken built a great set, and we packed houses. Chuck was always ready to break from rehearsal for a nachos run, and he was often tardy, but that was the price of talent, and we had great chemistry. One performance i tripped over a basketball during a chase scene, did a mid-air somersault, and landed in a chair with the ball in my lap. I told Ken i'd been in complete control the whole time (who knows, maybe i had been). That whole sequence had been great, taking us through the audience, in and out of the kitchen at the back of the hall, back through the audience, into the wings, and back onstage. After we opened, Cindy and i found ourselves kissing one night at my house, but perplexingly nothing came of it. The funniest moment came in rehearsal during the Pigeon scene. Felix forgets about a pot roast in the oven, and when i dejectedly bring it out, it's a blackened hunk. The girls peer into the tin-foiled tray. I guess i was holding it a little low, because suppressed laughter started as the girls examined my crotch area, while one of them gives the line "Well it's not that bad." I reply, "But it's black meat. Nobody likes black meat!" I stop, because someone had burst out laughing. On the second take i hold the tray higher, but the damage is done. We're all trying not to laugh, but we can't get past that "black meat" line. We try time after time after time, but one glance into each other's eyes and we're all dying again, rolling about, crying and laughing. Ken is just nodding, saying "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Any chance we're going to try some acting this evening?" We gather our serious faces, try again, and are soon howling. We had to give up for the night. The greatest laughter of my life, anywhere anytime ever.
THEATER 24
-summer 1989
My high school buddy Ken Hartman had completed a couple years of college, and came to me about putting on a show in our old church Fellowship Hall. He wanted me to be Felix in THE ODD COUPLE. I said "Oh yes". Ken nabbed ex-Youth Clubber Chuck Bunting for Oscar. He had presence and comedic energy out the wazoo. Ex-Youth Clubber Heidi Stohler played one Pigeon sister, and Cindy Saupe the other. I don't know where Ken found Cindy, but she was very open and talented. Senior Youth Clubber Mark Turner played Murray. He was mature and funny, just great to be around. Ben Plavin played Speed, Geoff Leonard was Vinnie, Brian Toleno was Roy, and they were all great. Ben had been hesitant to accept me, but after i demonstrated talent in improv games, he warmed up. Ken built a great set, and we packed houses. Chuck was always ready to break from rehearsal for a nachos run, and he was often tardy, but that was the price of talent, and we had great chemistry. One performance i tripped over a basketball during a chase scene, did a mid-air somersault, and landed in a chair with the ball in my lap. I told Ken i'd been in complete control the whole time (who knows, maybe i had been). That whole sequence had been great, taking us through the audience, in and out of the kitchen at the back of the hall, back through the audience, into the wings, and back onstage. After we opened, Cindy and i found ourselves kissing one night at my house, but perplexingly nothing came of it. The funniest moment came in rehearsal during the Pigeon scene. Felix forgets about a pot roast in the oven, and when i dejectedly bring it out, it's a blackened hunk. The girls peer into the tin-foiled tray. I guess i was holding it a little low, because suppressed laughter started as the girls examined my crotch area, while one of them gives the line "Well it's not that bad." I reply, "But it's black meat. Nobody likes black meat!" I stop, because someone had burst out laughing. On the second take i hold the tray higher, but the damage is done. We're all trying not to laugh, but we can't get past that "black meat" line. We try time after time after time, but one glance into each other's eyes and we're all dying again, rolling about, crying and laughing. Ken is just nodding, saying "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Any chance we're going to try some acting this evening?" We gather our serious faces, try again, and are soon howling. We had to give up for the night. The greatest laughter of my life, anywhere anytime ever.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
moments away
Yesterday i was walking April, a friend's dog. A woman walking toward us slowed, and with a smile said the dog was adorable. I stopped, and told her about April.
Time suddenly accordioned, as i searched for a way to extend a brief, common social moment. I wanted to live in her smile. After a minute of eternity, we continued on our ways. I looked back twice, then turned a corner.
I didn't ask her name, though that was one of the things that almost jumped off my tongue. I almost responded to her final "she's adorable", with "So are you." Later, i imagined putting my hand on hers, and guiding it over April's coat. April doesn't like having her head touched, so the pretext would have almost had merit.
Moments like these come, and disappear. Often, in the aftermath all we can do is say "Why didn't i say something??" Different things stay our tongue. Mostly insecurity. It's possible that the forwardness she showed was a huge thing for her, she may have been tongue-tied with nerves. It's also possible she simply thought April was cute, and had no trouble saying so. Now, April is cute...but perhaps not high enough on the adorable scale to merit such fuss. So i'll go so far as to propose a 56% probability that the object of this woman's attention was me.
I let the moment slip away partly for feminist reasons...in a world where demeaning objectification of women is common, i will perhaps always have trouble manifesting any behavior that smacks of "masher".
Maybe i also let her go because she was a black woman who straightened her hair, and my feelings about what that says about self-worth...that we live in a world where black women seem to have learned exactly none of the lessons Malcolm X taught...how he spent years burning his head with lye, in an effort to be less "black"...my feelings on this issue are so strong that it's almost hard to imagine getting involved with a woman who straightens.
Maybe i also let the moment go because i didn't want to risk rejection, when my battered spirit was suddenly happy. I wanted to look into her eyes forever...she didn't seem damaged, just sincere and gentle and beautifully alive.
A strange thing about moments like these...while they're happening, you're in such a world of possibility that it's almost like being drugged. You know you could lose the moment, but your euphoria makes you feel that moments like these must grow on trees.
The next day, week, or month, you feel all too keenly how that's not so.
It's also hard pegging me in regard to these matters. Though i am in so many ways the polar opposite of a "player", i've also been envied for my fearlessness in approaching women.
In most of my recent romances, there hasn't been that instant rush. I've been trying to be more "evolved", having learned that infatuation actually can grow, when there was none at first. But it starts to feel like i've been pushing this openness too far. What i felt yesterday...more often than not it seems to not grow, if it's not there at first.
I think i've also dabbled in infatuationless romance because it's easy to imagine a woman who's right for me, but finding her is a solitary path. Maybe that's why i let the moment go, too...if no woman is likely to work out, it's easier to lose someone you weren't crazy about in the first place, right?
Mind you, my spirit has long been a stranger to such dark places...yet this is where the wounded bleed...
And after a thousand nights of loneliness, having anyone feels like it must be better than having no one.
Sometimes it is, maybe.
Still...
We let these moments slip away, promising ourselves to never let it happen again.
Until that next moment comes...
And flies away...
Time suddenly accordioned, as i searched for a way to extend a brief, common social moment. I wanted to live in her smile. After a minute of eternity, we continued on our ways. I looked back twice, then turned a corner.
I didn't ask her name, though that was one of the things that almost jumped off my tongue. I almost responded to her final "she's adorable", with "So are you." Later, i imagined putting my hand on hers, and guiding it over April's coat. April doesn't like having her head touched, so the pretext would have almost had merit.
Moments like these come, and disappear. Often, in the aftermath all we can do is say "Why didn't i say something??" Different things stay our tongue. Mostly insecurity. It's possible that the forwardness she showed was a huge thing for her, she may have been tongue-tied with nerves. It's also possible she simply thought April was cute, and had no trouble saying so. Now, April is cute...but perhaps not high enough on the adorable scale to merit such fuss. So i'll go so far as to propose a 56% probability that the object of this woman's attention was me.
I let the moment slip away partly for feminist reasons...in a world where demeaning objectification of women is common, i will perhaps always have trouble manifesting any behavior that smacks of "masher".
Maybe i also let her go because she was a black woman who straightened her hair, and my feelings about what that says about self-worth...that we live in a world where black women seem to have learned exactly none of the lessons Malcolm X taught...how he spent years burning his head with lye, in an effort to be less "black"...my feelings on this issue are so strong that it's almost hard to imagine getting involved with a woman who straightens.
Maybe i also let the moment go because i didn't want to risk rejection, when my battered spirit was suddenly happy. I wanted to look into her eyes forever...she didn't seem damaged, just sincere and gentle and beautifully alive.
A strange thing about moments like these...while they're happening, you're in such a world of possibility that it's almost like being drugged. You know you could lose the moment, but your euphoria makes you feel that moments like these must grow on trees.
The next day, week, or month, you feel all too keenly how that's not so.
It's also hard pegging me in regard to these matters. Though i am in so many ways the polar opposite of a "player", i've also been envied for my fearlessness in approaching women.
In most of my recent romances, there hasn't been that instant rush. I've been trying to be more "evolved", having learned that infatuation actually can grow, when there was none at first. But it starts to feel like i've been pushing this openness too far. What i felt yesterday...more often than not it seems to not grow, if it's not there at first.
I think i've also dabbled in infatuationless romance because it's easy to imagine a woman who's right for me, but finding her is a solitary path. Maybe that's why i let the moment go, too...if no woman is likely to work out, it's easier to lose someone you weren't crazy about in the first place, right?
Mind you, my spirit has long been a stranger to such dark places...yet this is where the wounded bleed...
And after a thousand nights of loneliness, having anyone feels like it must be better than having no one.
Sometimes it is, maybe.
Still...
We let these moments slip away, promising ourselves to never let it happen again.
Until that next moment comes...
And flies away...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
i want my MTV2!!
A DAY IN THE MIND OF A NEW YORK ACTOR
(an account of my work on a one-day TV shoot, filming a five-second promo/lead-in for a series of horror movies airing on MTV2)
I want my MTV too? No, that's not it.
I want my MTV to...play actual music videos?
I want my MTV two? Closer...
I want my MTV2! That's it, now we got it. I want my MTV2.
I show up for the shoot fifteen minutes late, unusual for me, a result of my first-time bike ride from my temporary home in Flatbush. The ride to 27th St. takes an hour and fifteen minutes(!) Gotta move back closer to Manhattan. But no one seems to notice. I know that there's going to be a big chunk of time devoted to getting the actors into scary makeup, and then a lot of waiting.
Here's Brandon, the producer who made all the arrangements over the phone. He had my headshot in his files for the past couple years, and when the need arose for a serial killer, he remembered my eyes. He's every bit as friendly and cool in person.
There are three actors on the shoot today. Back to the green room to meet them...here's Josach, an African or island man already in zombie makeup and costume. Very friendly. And here's Saglara, playing a bloody corpse-ghost type. Wow, so cute. Asian women kill me. Ooh, intelligent too. Speaks three languages, including Russian. I keep butchering her name. Okay, got it.
And here's Margo, the makeup person. Very friendly, she thinks we've worked together before. It's possible, but she doesn't seem familiar. She says they want a killer with pale skin and smushy scads of red lipstick. And my costume? Ah, a black rubber butcher's apron, with long matching gloves. No shirt, dialing up the sexy? Yes, i remember Brandon asking whether i was still in muscled shape. Cool. I'm there.
And here's the director, Charlie. What a sweet, friendly young person. The crew, too. What a fun day this shall be. Charlie wants more transsexual? That prairie dress, will i fit into that, they wonder? Probably not? They don't know me and my 36-28-35 measurements, do they? Fitting like a tight second skin, the dress is a smash! The crew loves it, it's the hit of the day so far. Party on.
The smushed lipstick is too Heath Ledger? Okay, Margo cleans it up. Still too Jokerish, we lose the lipstick altogether.
I watch Saglara being filmed. It's a green screen studio, with the acting in a tight space. Mostly bunches of scary faces and screams, with a few menacing walks toward the camera. Between takes, i hike up my dress and pull my boxers to super-wedgie levels. The crew is disgusted and delighted. Brandon says it's the first time in his life he's been happy to see a man's ass. Good times.
And here's the MTV rep. Hello, another attractive Asian woman. And how genuine she seems. She's just happy to be here, to watch it all happen. Okay, her ass is a little thin...no matter! She's great.
Back in the green room with the actors, we talk about Mark Twain, travel, and racism. Saglara is of Kalmyk Mongolian descent, and was the victim of racial violence in Russia. She says American racism is tame. I ask her to talk about the attack, but she demurs. Too bad. She mentions her boyfriend, and that she likes drinking and clubbing. Okay, my little fantasy is going poof. Ah well, she's still bright and fun. I ask her to call me an idiot in Kalmyk, but she doesn't seem interested. She was so friendly at first, but now she seems faintly standoffish, perhaps even to me personally.
I'm on! The prairie dress has been nixed, as Margo hands me a plain old bloody white apron. Really? Seems like a bit of a wet noodle compared to my first two costumes. And a white T-shirt? Dialing down the sexy, too? How lame. I tell Charlie i have three looks for him. #1 is eyes narrowed, #2 is open and penetrating, and #3 is wide-eyed maniac. And here are my toys, a cleaver and a machete! They bloody them (and me) up. I do all sorts of looks and swipes at the camera, and a scary charge. I do screams too, though i'd imagined they wouldn't be recording audio. Our voices might not end up in the final cut of course, but i'll strain my vocal cords a bit in the pursuit of horror excellence. Charlie asks me to do a maniacal laugh, but it comes out pretty flaccid. And with one of my forward attacks, i realize it would have been perfect if i had grabbed camera eye contact firmly after the slashes. That's the problem with these shoots, there's little or no prep time, it's just in and out bang, you're done. You try to keep a million subtleties together in your head, but when the camera rolls you have to let go of a lot of structured thought. Sometimes you end up forgetting things (and sometimes the same thing over and over), but that's the price of being alive in the moment, for this pea-brained actor anyway. With one day of rehearsal, i'd be better. But i know not to be hard on myself, and some of my moments have actually felt really cool. With skillful editing, they might come up with something wonderful.
Lunch break! I get a veggie wrap, and a Naked protein shake (my favorite). Brandon's taking very good care of us. And here's a fourth actor, Danielle. She has to be at a bartending job at three, so has precious little time. She's got a scrubbed all-American look. Very attractive. We actors have lunch in the green room. Danielle mentions her boyfriend in passing. Okay, nix another fantasy. As we finish eating, they want to get her wrapped, so they'll finish me after her.
I finish my Twain short story. I nap through Danielle's costuming and shooting.
Back on set! And my final prop...a chainsaw! I have them tape down the, um, unused electrical plug at the end of it. I slash. I scream.
After i'm done, they put some of the crew into makeup and costume, and shoot them, mostly for fun.
When the shoot wraps, Brandon tells me he thinks my footage will be the stuff they use most. He and other crew members are complimentary of my work, in a way that seems a touch more sincere than the regular bullshit. I get $150 for my efforts. Not much when you consider that MTV is attached to the project, but the experience was great, they were done with me in under eight hours, and i can now give you and my nephews a laugh.
Coming soon, to a cathode ray tube near you!
(an account of my work on a one-day TV shoot, filming a five-second promo/lead-in for a series of horror movies airing on MTV2)
I want my MTV too? No, that's not it.
I want my MTV to...play actual music videos?
I want my MTV two? Closer...
I want my MTV2! That's it, now we got it. I want my MTV2.
I show up for the shoot fifteen minutes late, unusual for me, a result of my first-time bike ride from my temporary home in Flatbush. The ride to 27th St. takes an hour and fifteen minutes(!) Gotta move back closer to Manhattan. But no one seems to notice. I know that there's going to be a big chunk of time devoted to getting the actors into scary makeup, and then a lot of waiting.
Here's Brandon, the producer who made all the arrangements over the phone. He had my headshot in his files for the past couple years, and when the need arose for a serial killer, he remembered my eyes. He's every bit as friendly and cool in person.
There are three actors on the shoot today. Back to the green room to meet them...here's Josach, an African or island man already in zombie makeup and costume. Very friendly. And here's Saglara, playing a bloody corpse-ghost type. Wow, so cute. Asian women kill me. Ooh, intelligent too. Speaks three languages, including Russian. I keep butchering her name. Okay, got it.
And here's Margo, the makeup person. Very friendly, she thinks we've worked together before. It's possible, but she doesn't seem familiar. She says they want a killer with pale skin and smushy scads of red lipstick. And my costume? Ah, a black rubber butcher's apron, with long matching gloves. No shirt, dialing up the sexy? Yes, i remember Brandon asking whether i was still in muscled shape. Cool. I'm there.
And here's the director, Charlie. What a sweet, friendly young person. The crew, too. What a fun day this shall be. Charlie wants more transsexual? That prairie dress, will i fit into that, they wonder? Probably not? They don't know me and my 36-28-35 measurements, do they? Fitting like a tight second skin, the dress is a smash! The crew loves it, it's the hit of the day so far. Party on.
The smushed lipstick is too Heath Ledger? Okay, Margo cleans it up. Still too Jokerish, we lose the lipstick altogether.
I watch Saglara being filmed. It's a green screen studio, with the acting in a tight space. Mostly bunches of scary faces and screams, with a few menacing walks toward the camera. Between takes, i hike up my dress and pull my boxers to super-wedgie levels. The crew is disgusted and delighted. Brandon says it's the first time in his life he's been happy to see a man's ass. Good times.
And here's the MTV rep. Hello, another attractive Asian woman. And how genuine she seems. She's just happy to be here, to watch it all happen. Okay, her ass is a little thin...no matter! She's great.
Back in the green room with the actors, we talk about Mark Twain, travel, and racism. Saglara is of Kalmyk Mongolian descent, and was the victim of racial violence in Russia. She says American racism is tame. I ask her to talk about the attack, but she demurs. Too bad. She mentions her boyfriend, and that she likes drinking and clubbing. Okay, my little fantasy is going poof. Ah well, she's still bright and fun. I ask her to call me an idiot in Kalmyk, but she doesn't seem interested. She was so friendly at first, but now she seems faintly standoffish, perhaps even to me personally.
I'm on! The prairie dress has been nixed, as Margo hands me a plain old bloody white apron. Really? Seems like a bit of a wet noodle compared to my first two costumes. And a white T-shirt? Dialing down the sexy, too? How lame. I tell Charlie i have three looks for him. #1 is eyes narrowed, #2 is open and penetrating, and #3 is wide-eyed maniac. And here are my toys, a cleaver and a machete! They bloody them (and me) up. I do all sorts of looks and swipes at the camera, and a scary charge. I do screams too, though i'd imagined they wouldn't be recording audio. Our voices might not end up in the final cut of course, but i'll strain my vocal cords a bit in the pursuit of horror excellence. Charlie asks me to do a maniacal laugh, but it comes out pretty flaccid. And with one of my forward attacks, i realize it would have been perfect if i had grabbed camera eye contact firmly after the slashes. That's the problem with these shoots, there's little or no prep time, it's just in and out bang, you're done. You try to keep a million subtleties together in your head, but when the camera rolls you have to let go of a lot of structured thought. Sometimes you end up forgetting things (and sometimes the same thing over and over), but that's the price of being alive in the moment, for this pea-brained actor anyway. With one day of rehearsal, i'd be better. But i know not to be hard on myself, and some of my moments have actually felt really cool. With skillful editing, they might come up with something wonderful.
Lunch break! I get a veggie wrap, and a Naked protein shake (my favorite). Brandon's taking very good care of us. And here's a fourth actor, Danielle. She has to be at a bartending job at three, so has precious little time. She's got a scrubbed all-American look. Very attractive. We actors have lunch in the green room. Danielle mentions her boyfriend in passing. Okay, nix another fantasy. As we finish eating, they want to get her wrapped, so they'll finish me after her.
I finish my Twain short story. I nap through Danielle's costuming and shooting.
Back on set! And my final prop...a chainsaw! I have them tape down the, um, unused electrical plug at the end of it. I slash. I scream.
After i'm done, they put some of the crew into makeup and costume, and shoot them, mostly for fun.
When the shoot wraps, Brandon tells me he thinks my footage will be the stuff they use most. He and other crew members are complimentary of my work, in a way that seems a touch more sincere than the regular bullshit. I get $150 for my efforts. Not much when you consider that MTV is attached to the project, but the experience was great, they were done with me in under eight hours, and i can now give you and my nephews a laugh.
Coming soon, to a cathode ray tube near you!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
shannon, jenn, abbey's friend
WOMEN 37-39
Shannon
After graduation, i returned for one WCU production as guest artist, and hooked up a couple times with Shannon. She wore makeup and had fashion model looks, with long wavy hair and heavy breasts. She was a little soft around the middle. Kissing and disrobing in her dorm bed, she wanted to have sex. I said we shouldn't go any further. If she had depth it wasn't obvious, though i didn't try too hard to find it.
Jenn
A tech student at Rider College, where i did a show as guest performer. We spent a night cuddling in her dorm bed, and i’m pretty sure we kissed. She was sweet and interested, but i didn’t feel as strongly…
Abbey's friend
An actor buddy's wife's friend, we hooked up and disrobed a couple times. She had burn scars over her mid-torso. I told her truthfully that it made her no less attractive to me. I'm sure i didn't act assertively enough to keep her interest, though.
Shannon
After graduation, i returned for one WCU production as guest artist, and hooked up a couple times with Shannon. She wore makeup and had fashion model looks, with long wavy hair and heavy breasts. She was a little soft around the middle. Kissing and disrobing in her dorm bed, she wanted to have sex. I said we shouldn't go any further. If she had depth it wasn't obvious, though i didn't try too hard to find it.
Jenn
A tech student at Rider College, where i did a show as guest performer. We spent a night cuddling in her dorm bed, and i’m pretty sure we kissed. She was sweet and interested, but i didn’t feel as strongly…
Abbey's friend
An actor buddy's wife's friend, we hooked up and disrobed a couple times. She had burn scars over her mid-torso. I told her truthfully that it made her no less attractive to me. I'm sure i didn't act assertively enough to keep her interest, though.
they call us babes in arms
BABES IN ARMS
THEATER 23
-summer 1989
In my fifth year with the Pennington Players, i finally landed a lead. And wouldn't you know it, this was the first year we didn't play at Washington Crossing State Park. I was crushed. We performed at Villa Victoria Academy, a girls' school. Traditional auditorium, blah blah blah. Hmpf. Oh well. Judi directed, and my loyalty to her and the company made me not grouse about the choice of show, one of those insipid musicals wherein songs appear for little discernable reason. BABES IN ARMS had no plot, only a theme: "plucky kids face problems by putting on a show!". Okay, maybe i groused. But damn it, i was a lead, so i was going to enjoy it. I played Gus. My counterpart was Joyce LaBriola, a blossoming young woman who had been with us a couple of years. Our duet was "I Wish I Were in Love Again". Offstage, Joyce was dating the first male lead, newcomer Joe Southard, and he and i hit it off. The first female lead was Amy Gilroy, last year's Katherine. The third female lead was Randie Brotman, whom i had befriended two years before, and who had taken a summer off for self-image issues. She was now a very talented and mature sixteen, and rightfully playing an older role. She developed a monumental crush on me, and deflecting it while growing as friends was no mean feat. We nine "babes" had a great time. I had a couple dates with one of the girls, but didn't pursue it further. Randie's older brother Adam was a "babe", and i thought the world of him. He had a few throwaway lines which he somehow made incredibly funny ("Lunch, yeah!" comes to mind). The audition process had been very validating. Walt Cupit, last year's Pippin, had gotten a supporting role, which he then dropped out of. Assistant director Cathy told me that i had rated higher than Walt in singing and acting, which was nice, as i had wanted to be Pippin very much. I had also been attracted to his girlfriend Amy, and they were no longer together. She was bright-eyed and beautiful, intelligent and open, silly and spunky. During BABES i spent a lot more time with her, and toward the end of the run i told her the two ways i had been jealous of Walt. She said i might have been a better choice for both jobs. We were interrupted just after she said it. It was one of those moments when something you never thought you could have, suddenly becomes possible. And to this day, it is one of the mysteries of my life why i didn't rush through the door that opened that night. Was she seeing someone new? Was i afraid of failing? John Kling played the uppity southern businessman who seeks to buy our barn (or some such nonsense). In one scene, i stand up to his bluster and he ends up on his derriere. It was our first real scene together after four years, and it was nice. Later on he pulls a ladder out from under me as i'm working in the flies. Betty Henninger was back, and Diane Wargo, a longtime Player, was our den mother. Also back was Charlie Leeder, as Fleming, the nasty landlord. It was great having him and his puns and all-nighters. He had one voiceover speech, which he beautifully ad libbed from night to night. One of the greatest misread lines was Amy's. She says "What do you think of that, Flem' old man?", but it sounded like she was saying "Flemo-man", and it stuck as Charlie's superhero nickname. We all made fun of the show, but had a kinda sweet time, truth be told. One of my funnier moments was when i'm supposed to enter whistling, thinking there's no one around. I couldn't whistle, so i came in singing the title song, in a thrash-rock style. It got the best laughs in rehearsal, but worked in performance, too. My high point was at a "babes" party. A couple of the guys had left, so it was Adam and i and the girls. We played Truth or Dare, and Randie asked how many of the girls had been attracted to me. I tried not to let my eyes widen as all hands went up. They told me not to let it go to my head, that it wasn't like i was Superman. I did my best not to, girls, i really did...but it was the first time in my life i'd had an oversized dose of female sexual affirmation. Later on that summer, a big group from the show came to see me in my next play, which made me so happy.
THEATER 23
-summer 1989
In my fifth year with the Pennington Players, i finally landed a lead. And wouldn't you know it, this was the first year we didn't play at Washington Crossing State Park. I was crushed. We performed at Villa Victoria Academy, a girls' school. Traditional auditorium, blah blah blah. Hmpf. Oh well. Judi directed, and my loyalty to her and the company made me not grouse about the choice of show, one of those insipid musicals wherein songs appear for little discernable reason. BABES IN ARMS had no plot, only a theme: "plucky kids face problems by putting on a show!". Okay, maybe i groused. But damn it, i was a lead, so i was going to enjoy it. I played Gus. My counterpart was Joyce LaBriola, a blossoming young woman who had been with us a couple of years. Our duet was "I Wish I Were in Love Again". Offstage, Joyce was dating the first male lead, newcomer Joe Southard, and he and i hit it off. The first female lead was Amy Gilroy, last year's Katherine. The third female lead was Randie Brotman, whom i had befriended two years before, and who had taken a summer off for self-image issues. She was now a very talented and mature sixteen, and rightfully playing an older role. She developed a monumental crush on me, and deflecting it while growing as friends was no mean feat. We nine "babes" had a great time. I had a couple dates with one of the girls, but didn't pursue it further. Randie's older brother Adam was a "babe", and i thought the world of him. He had a few throwaway lines which he somehow made incredibly funny ("Lunch, yeah!" comes to mind). The audition process had been very validating. Walt Cupit, last year's Pippin, had gotten a supporting role, which he then dropped out of. Assistant director Cathy told me that i had rated higher than Walt in singing and acting, which was nice, as i had wanted to be Pippin very much. I had also been attracted to his girlfriend Amy, and they were no longer together. She was bright-eyed and beautiful, intelligent and open, silly and spunky. During BABES i spent a lot more time with her, and toward the end of the run i told her the two ways i had been jealous of Walt. She said i might have been a better choice for both jobs. We were interrupted just after she said it. It was one of those moments when something you never thought you could have, suddenly becomes possible. And to this day, it is one of the mysteries of my life why i didn't rush through the door that opened that night. Was she seeing someone new? Was i afraid of failing? John Kling played the uppity southern businessman who seeks to buy our barn (or some such nonsense). In one scene, i stand up to his bluster and he ends up on his derriere. It was our first real scene together after four years, and it was nice. Later on he pulls a ladder out from under me as i'm working in the flies. Betty Henninger was back, and Diane Wargo, a longtime Player, was our den mother. Also back was Charlie Leeder, as Fleming, the nasty landlord. It was great having him and his puns and all-nighters. He had one voiceover speech, which he beautifully ad libbed from night to night. One of the greatest misread lines was Amy's. She says "What do you think of that, Flem' old man?", but it sounded like she was saying "Flemo-man", and it stuck as Charlie's superhero nickname. We all made fun of the show, but had a kinda sweet time, truth be told. One of my funnier moments was when i'm supposed to enter whistling, thinking there's no one around. I couldn't whistle, so i came in singing the title song, in a thrash-rock style. It got the best laughs in rehearsal, but worked in performance, too. My high point was at a "babes" party. A couple of the guys had left, so it was Adam and i and the girls. We played Truth or Dare, and Randie asked how many of the girls had been attracted to me. I tried not to let my eyes widen as all hands went up. They told me not to let it go to my head, that it wasn't like i was Superman. I did my best not to, girls, i really did...but it was the first time in my life i'd had an oversized dose of female sexual affirmation. Later on that summer, a big group from the show came to see me in my next play, which made me so happy.
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