shredded!

I was on my board in the Atlantic yesterday. With no warning, the biggest wave of the day appeared. I turned to shore as it lifted me up. For a moment, suspended, my mind had time to register the words "Wow, i'm really high". I braced myself for a world of pain and saltwatery sinus, expecting to be flung down and tumbled underneath as several waves had already done. My expectation was fulfilled. The water pushed my feet straight up in the air and carried me completely upside-down for twenty feet or so, the crown of my head dragging unrelentingly against the sea floor. When i escaped neptune's grasp, i felt around my skull. In a path running from front to back, a swath of hair had been scraped clear away. My chin hair too. I would have headed back into the cheeky surf for more, but red trickles on my forehead had rendered me prime sharkbait. I headed for the bungalow, where my best gal made me a poultice and oiled my feet...